31 May 2008
In the World, Of the World, Or Just Plain Worldly?
Do you go to restaurants with a bar area, smoking areas and raunchy rock music? Do you ask them to move or get rid of displays that offend you? Or do you just spend your money somewhere else?
How about your children's education? Do you let your child go to public school and then make an issue with things that go against your beliefs, thus saving other more busy Christians (single moms and other "issues" going on) some time and make a better environment for everyone? (No, I'm not talking recycling here.) Or do you opt out entirely and homeschool? Or... do you send them when they're young and pull them when things get bad in middle school? Or... do you keep them home to train their minds when they're young, and then send them for the math, orchestra, or whatever you feel unable to teach well when they're older?
What do you do? Do you stay IN every "worldly" institution and scene and hope to change it from the inside, or do you opt out entirely? How about those dirty politics? Do you vote anyway and hope that the Republican nominee (gag!) will at least be able to determine the replacements of future Supreme Court justices who retire during his presidency? I suppose you could jump off the deep end and vote Democratic because God loves giving, and if we "give" to our government, we are helping the poor. But I'm assuming that you're not crazy yet. I'm blogging under a pseudonym just in case, though...
Maybe you try to live pure before God. Let's say you want to be as clean and untainted as possible. Well, if you drive or even ride the bus, you're supporting the Wahabis in Saudi Arabia. Wear clothes? Well, you should! Sweatshop children. Let your kids play with toys? I'm sure your fellow humans in China thank you for your patronage as they scramble to live on their meagre wages. Good luck being clean and wholesome in all your "marketplace" dealings. And we haven't even gotten into what the head offices of the places you shop does with its investments.
So, maybe you just do your reasonable best like me. You try to stay away from the obvious tawdry things like the stripclubs and Boobers restaurants because you know that they're not going to move the ladies to the back room to cover up when you enter the place. Their whole point is to make money by being repulsive. Maybe you go to a "family" restaurant and then find that the menu promotes the latest PG 27 movie and the lyrics of the "background" rock music are offensive, but you know that your kids aren't going to "catch" the gimme-yer-luvvin'-type code names for this or that. You're not sure whether to stay or go. Sometimes you leave, but if you've PROMISED the kids they can eat at Orangetrees and Aerosmith comes on the loudspeaker, what to do?
Curriculum Required?
The authors advocate giving school districts and employees as little information as required by law. "The reasoning is that the portfolio review is not a good time to try to show the state what a wonderful and thorough job you are doing and, more important, those who 'show off' lots of work might raise the bar for others unnecessarily... Ask homeschooling friends if they will show you what they presented in order to find out how little you can present."
And why should you give the state more assurance than they give you as to the quality of a particular child's education? "The schools are usually required only to OFFER INSTRUCTION. They are not required to be sure that everyone (really anyone) actually learns anything."
"We all know how absurd it is for people who have opted out of the public schools for many good and varied reasons to be required to be judged (or even "reviewed") by the same people who run the schools we reject, distrust, and do not respect... This is not a battle of homeschoolers against public school employees. It is against bad laws and irrelevant and stupid regulations, and that battle is being fought in legislatures, not schools."
(Quotes taken from pages 86-88. I'm done with school and hate reading papers with a bunch of documentation throughout. I like papers and books with the documentation in an index at the very back. I hate reading cluttered works as it distracts me.)
30 May 2008
Elf Update
29 May 2008
Joke From Kate's Blog
A: Three. One to hold the bulb, another to write a Unit Study on the history of light bulbs, and the third to host a conference seminar on the biblical way to screw it in correctly.
You should go over and check her blog out. I am more conservative than she is, but I like her attitude of always going back to what the Word says, and her (mostly) kind spirit to even those Christians who are unkind and unloving. Link: http://kateschosen.wordpress.com/
HUH??
So, wait. The FLDS children should never have been taken. Parental rights were violated. The kids ought to go home. BUT
"The ruling does not force CPS to end its involvement with the parents from the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which runs the ranch in Eldorado, however.
The justices said child welfare officials can take numerous actions to protect children short of separating them from their parents and placing them in foster care and that Walther may still put restrictions on the children and parents to address concerns that they may flee once reunited. "
The families might "flee" once reunited? You know, the families they didn't have enough evidence of abuse on and against whom no criminal charges are filed? Those families might "flee?"
CPS, DFS and all other organizations of the like should be permanently and immediately disbanded. These people have WAY too much power over our lives and follow no real due process of law. We should all be contacting our representatives and letting them know this is not acceptable behaviour.
I wonder how many families are messed with by these people, and we never hear about it.
28 May 2008
Proverbs 24:30-34
The Proverbs 31 Woman
Patrick Update
Thought This Was Cute.
27 May 2008
There is Just *SO* Much Missing From This Story.
Got the link from FARK. A Hillsborough County, FL, man hires a nude maid to clean his house while his wife is out. She allegedly stole his wife's jewelry.
My questions would be what the wife's reaction to the whole ahem, escapade were and what she did about it. And where the maid hid the jewelry. And... wait a minute. Mom and Dad live in that county... and didn't my mom take a trip last week? We need names when police reports are filed! They're public record! Lazy reporter.
Can I just say that this is not the highbrow, quality reporting I usually expect from "Action News?" *yuk*
Woodjums McOnion Pumpkin Update
I Didn't Mean It That Way!
My opinion
Can I just gently say that we get too hung up on artificial standards and forget God's truth occasionally? If my boys were to run out the moment they turned 18 and get tattoos, I'd be shocked and horrified, yes. But more because of the fact that "it's so permanent," not the idea that they are going to HELL and damnation for disobeying a command of God. Same with earrings, nose rings, etc. etc.
Jesus says that not one jot or tittle of the Law will pass away. Jesus fulfilled all the laws that were ever set forth by God. Today, we need to be reading the Bible with the idea that while we are under grace, there is also the principle in the Law we must still obey. Some ideas, and feel free to add your own:
Sabbath Day
Do you keep it? Strictly? Well, good for you if you do. The Pharisees were a little (!) overlegalistic on this issue, but today we tend to think we can just skip it over if and when it's convenient for us. The children and I attend church and D usually gets the day off from work. I'm honestly not sure sometimes if we have the right balance of rest and work on Sundays.
Dresses and Hair
Do you figure that you HAVE to wear a dress if you're a woman? How long, exactly, does it have to be? I totally get the "no cross-dressing" idea from the Old Testament. To me, though, if I'm buying it from the women's department and it covers me reasonably well, I'm good. You go ahead and have a higher standard on the clothing issue with your children and yourself, but don't hold me to it. Promise you I'm not a hussy because I wear jeans. I even cut my hair sometimes, too. I feel convicted about it, but I have some mixed feelings. Would God enjoy seeing me get snarls and terrible headaches so I can keep my hair long to please Him?
Then again, aren't I a bit of a hypocrite to pray for the people who are today's martyrs, but I can't do this one thing for Him? When it's spelled out clearly in God's Word? Nope, I could not tarry but one hour with the Lord... Maybe it's just an excuse, but how am I going to be a NICE Christian woman of God consistently if I get horrible headaches every night? Oh, nevermind, I'm not nice even when I have my hair lopped off.
Working women
Yep, I am going to get trounced for this. There is nothing in the Bible against women working. In fact, you see the Proverbs 31 woman seems to have a home-based business. Try going off to darkest Africa or deep into the jungles of South America ... go somewhere where people REALLY are struggling to live and tell them to "just rely on God" and have the wife stay home. Sometimes God really does help those who help themselves. And yes, I know that "verse" is not in the Bible.
On the other hand, please prayerfully consider the effect on your children before you leave them in the care of a non-relative for most of their waking hours while they are young. Please carefully consider the effect this has on your family and society at large that this is seen as a normal thing to do. Consider this idea of "socialization." It isn't being stuck in a room with 20 of your agemates and only one adult. I suppose it comes down to the idea that you do what you have to do sometimes (I'm thinking especially of the single moms who need lots of extra grace and love) while understanding that the ideal is a family that is stable and prayerful regardless of location and circumstance.
Drugs
Smoke 'em if you got 'em! Ok, no, just kidding. Sorry to disappoint you.
Your doctor is not God. You are not God. You get to make decisions as to what to put into your or your childrens' bodies. You should do this in consultation with your doctor(s) and prayer to God. I think the state has no business prosecuting families who earnestly and prayerfully refuse medical intervention and treatments. Yes, that means even preventable infections and simple-to-cure stuff. This is a slippery slope and I don't want the government involved with my health care directly, thank you. I know this isn't quite a "Bible" issue, but I feel (see? opinion) that there are things that should be the family's dominion and only a few things should be the state's.
Conclusion
Did you read this whole essay? Wow. I'll read yours if you put it in my "comment" section.
26 May 2008
Noah's Ark Wooden Set
Shopping With Children
The good thing about shopping with older boys is that you will most likely not get attacked in the parking lot. I'm always nervous when I'm by myself with four children still in car seats. Elf and Emperor are, shall we say, not very socially aware and would probably try to "make friends" with any potential carjacker or thief, complicating matters for me considerably. Yes, we've gone over some of the "what to do if" situations, but I just know my kids. I don't go out often with them for good reason. The older boys, however, are my height and taller. They're thin, but a potential criminal is going to go for easier prey than this.
The bad thing about shopping with older boys is that, for the most part, any manners they have or don't have are pretty well set. Moms of young kids, take note: you want to teach your children just to be absolutely silent on any shopping trip. It's too late for me. I tried.
I've taught Patrick and G their manners. I really did. They just didn't learn them so well.
Now, I'm not being mean to my guys. I've seen much worse in my everyday shopping experiences. I've seen much worse in all kinds of public places. Teenage boys don't seem to be meek and quiet types, but I'm just being honest about what's going on. Bein' real with ya.
They're really too big to "count to three" with. Very rarely we'll do that at home when we see attitude. They aren't going to do time-out in the store in front of the cashier. You could take away their video game time, but you can only do that ONCE each day (if you say, "No video games for three weeks!" in a fit of anger, you have no bargaining chips for the next three weeks, really). The taking away of an extra cookie at dinner would be a laughable consequence for a child nearly 15. And they're not driving yet that they need to be nice all the time. And no matter how I continually needle them with the idea of behaving in a Christlike manner, the boys genuinely think that Jesus himself would talk about getting a mullet haircut in the middle of the store.
What do you do when that happens to you?
Your options are pretty limited. You have in your arsenal distraction, the evil "look," the idea of talking to Dad, and the "I'm not buying this if you keep acting like that" trump card.
Ugh. They want to ask all kinds of questions about whether Jesus had a mullet cut, and how would I know if He did or didn't, and can *they* grow their hair long? Duuude. So like, would that ad that just says "recycle ink" bother Him because they don't say "cartridges" until the end? Isn't that like lying? Jesus would lose his temper, right in the middle of Office Max and it would be really funny... Meanwhile, G has decided that he likes the PINK binder because it's cool and the really toughest guys at school all have pink binders...
I'm really trying to reason with these guys and treat them like almost-adults, but it's hard ... NO WAY Jesus would ever get something as bad-looking as a mullet hairdo, and speaking of which, you guys need a haircut before you look like hippies. Jesus kept his hair short and clean and He wouldn't have even had a beard if it weren't a Jewish requirement and all. Now shush about getting the mullet hairdo, right now! And don't touch that unless you're paying for it. Oh, and even if you can pay for it, it has to be some other colour than pink because you're not that tough anyway.
From both older boys I get in stereo about how mullet cuts are not forbidden in the Bible, and HOW do I know Jesus didn't look like a hippy, and maybe He had the first mullet cut. And what do I mean He kept Himself clean all the time? Didn't He wash dirty feet that one time?
I'm trying to answer all these questions at once while the OfficeMax employees are looking at us like we're nuts...
First off, Jesus OF COURSE was clean all the time and never got dirty. You have *got* to be kidding me if you think GOD can get dirty. And give it up about "mullet cuts," and thanks for reminding me yet again that your hair is almost three inches long and you need a haircut. Gracious, you'll be asking for tattoos and earrings next and I have to draw the line somewhere.
Whereupon we have to have a "discussion" about the tattoos, and Old Testament vs. New Testament and whether God really meant NEVER to get a tattoo (yes, He did, now hush...)
We have discussions like this in church, too. I used to be positive that my children have the most bizarre questions and probably shock people with the things that they say. Then I heard one of the teens give a presentation in front of everybody about why she loves her youth pastor. One of the things she likes about him is that he's available to answer allll their questions about God. They even texted him at 11 at night to ask him about Jesus passing gas! Um, except she didn't phrase it as nicely as I did! Can you imagine taking that call? What would you say as this child's pastor?
In any event, we left with a GREEN binder, which G was more pleased with than pink. Turns out he thought that only the pink binder had the carry strap. The green one had one as well, except it had not been used before and was still in the wrapper. So he's happy.
The older boys also both got haircuts this afternoon. They thanked me profusely for taking time out of my busy schedule to give them a custom cut and style. (Ok, I made the last part up. But they look good.)
25 May 2008
We Don't Like You. Go Away.
I've only scratched the surface with all these links, but it surely does resonate to see another family going through similar experiences. Whether the autistic people in question are high-functioning or not, ideally we're *supposed* to have a free and appropriate education for every kid who walks (or wheels! can't forget some don't walk...) through the school doors. I'm not particularly enamoured of public education because I personally don't see that happening (among other reasons; don't get me started). I see a lot of words, but no real attempt to *make* it happen.
And for all our misguided talk on "tolerance" of other lifestyles etc. etc. in schools, I'll tell you that there really is no toleration. It doesn't matter if your difference is a weird hairdo or an inability to fit in properly. Children can be some of the most intolerant people in the classic sense of the world. I would like my children to be very tolerant in the classic sense of the word and to value others EVEN WHEN they disagree with them. And to disagree in a spirit of meekness without getting pushed around (yes, there's a time to fight!).
I'm reading more in other blogs about how autistic folks are really treated in school. Lots of places, but I'll just give one sample for today because it's late, I'm tired, and sometimes I think I'm really only talking to myself. But Amanda Baggs is one blogger I enjoy occasionally visiting because she has such a witty way of expressing herself. I don't always agree with everything she says, but I will say she makes me think. She shares a little about her schooling in this post:
http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=538
QUOTE:
And I remember as well that when I was bullied so mercilessly — at an age where I understood far better what was happening — that I was afraid to go to school and lashed out defensively at nearly anyone who tried to interact with me at all, I was the one who got counseling, and I was the one who was talked about by teachers as if there was something wrong with me. And I was the one who had to repeat a grade and change schools. The bullies were left to go on doing their thing, because it was only natural to be nasty and cruel, but wholly unnatural to be terrified of people who acted in this manner. I’m not saying I never did anything wrong, nor that I treated everyone with absolute kindness. Not even close, and I imagine at times I was a nightmare to deal with in my own right. But good grief.
Flat Stanleys in New Zealand!
24 May 2008
Interesting Perspective
QUOTE:
Yet, this is just a symptom of a greater problem. Something like only 5% of the disabled population attends church on a regular basis. Why is this? Christians' misunderstanding of disabilities (God made you special!) and desire to see every person with a disability healed whether they want to or not, would probably play one of the biggest roles. Lack of respect for the abilities of the disabled also plays a part. However, discrimination like we're seeing here is certainly a key component of the problem. People will say that banning him from mass doesn't mean that you're not loving him, but all I can say to that is: bull-loney!!!!! Being excluded from something for reasons beyond your control is NOT love. If you think it is, I'd prefer you'd never love me or my family!
Here, after years of believing that everyone was valuable to God -- everyone: the prostitute, the demon-possessed, the poor, the cheater, the rapist, the pornographer, the drug dealer, the doctor, the pastor, the missionary, the engineer, the teacher, the nurse, etc. we're seeing a situation where one finds that you truly can be bad enough to get kicked out of church. For the sake of many parents out there, I hope that bored little boys who attend that parish don't find out about this -- they just might have found their ticket to a more interesting Sunday morning! Be really bad in Mass and then the priest will kick you out!
http://debfixesamerica.blogspot.com/2008/05/that-child-know-to-christ-as-adam-race.html
She does talk about that balance between the needs of the congregation and the needs of the disabled parishoner. She's not advocating an anything-goes attitude, but she IS wondering what accomodations the church is trying to make for this family.
Personally, I'd have told the church to go jump in the lake and then told allll my friends how bad it was. That's the nice kind of person I am, deep down inside. I know you're impressed with my attitude. I know that the Bible says not to go to courts to hash things out between Christians, but to my mind, if you behave a certain way you're proclaiming that you are NOT A CHRISTIAN. You know a tree by its fruit. Stinky fruit means "not a Christian," to my mind. I probably wouldn't have bothered with the courts, though. If I had lots of money to tithe, I'd be planning to spend it somewhere else.
23 May 2008
Transition to Homeschooling
Before I sent my children to public school, I knew several people who were going to be homeschoolers. They were going to because, they said, they cared for their children more than that and why would you give up your child to the state for eight hours a day? I didn't realize what the homeschooling laws *were* here in Missouri and thought you had to really know what you're doing to teach children at home. Since I didn't have any education classes, of course that meant I didn't know what I was doing ...
And maybe, looking back, it was just me... but I felt as though there was a definite air that what was good enough for my child wasn't good enough for theirs. That they didn't want their child hanging out with the likes of mine. Now, of course, having had children in the school district for over 10 years, I know exactly where that attitude came from. That's because I've had plenty of opportunity to see how many of these children act at school and during "social events." Even extremely nice children from good families can sense when the rules aren't fully enforced and they can get away with bad behaviour, let's face it. At home, my children, while not the paragons of virtue all the time, have been taught to say "Yes, Ma'am," or "Yes, Sir," as appropriate. At school, they want you to say "OK" to the teacher, and they have trouble even getting that much acknowledgment from some students when they are addressed.
Let me insert here that even if somehow all public schools amazingly converted to Christianity in its most conservative form, ANY class of 20-odd children with only one teacher will have its problems, even in the best district. I've seen some great teachers do a wonderful job with what they have, but like one anonymous poster commented on my blog, I also don't feel that it outweighs the problems in the system, and in my opinion the ones that are there are hardly railing against some of the immoral curriculum standards.
I didn't want to homeschool, though. I HATE and absolutely detest doing homework with my children. They came home at 4 p.m. hungry and tired and usually possessing an armload of worksheets and papers that require my immediate attention. Evenings are spent screaming, reasoning, threatening to take away privileges, etc. Ugh. If that's what an hour and a half of "homeschooling" is like, why would I want to take on that job?? Those poor teachers, I'd think!
But after we started getting more and more problems with Elf, I literally couldn't go to the bathroom without my cell phone. I was at that school almost constantly. My other children and my housework duties, such as shopping across town, did not go away during this time. I felt awful and torn. Elf would beg to PLEASE take him out of that horrible place, and I wished I could. D wanted to give the school more chances to work out their bugs in how to deal with them, but I wanted him OUT and felt they had abused our child ENOUGH. So then we would start to fight. D realized that the school was not working in our best interests when they decided to slap an extremely bad label on him based on some fill-in-the-dot tests the teachers and I did with a number two pencil. They ignored three specialists' opinions that the reason for these behaviours was his AUTISM, including that of a prestigious children's hospital developmental department. The fill-in-the-dot test is a nationally NORMED test, and so they now had God on their side.
I finally had my husband on mine. The next day, we presented the school with a signed paper withdrawing him from all school rolls, effective immediately. Elf was bewildered as we told him to go get his stuff; he's staying home now and doesn't have to come back again. He did miss his friends for a bit, and I still see him looking wistfully at the playground. He'd like to go play with the other children, but it isn't worth what he'd have to go through during the other 7 1/2 hours to do it. On the whole, he enjoys homeschool immensely. He likes taking walks with his brother and our field trips.
So, why don't I homeschool Patrick and G? Well, the short answer is because D says we won't, but I don't want to just give that short answer without going into some of the reasons. Patrick is nearly 15 and will be an adult in three years. He would like to stay in public school. D and I have left the option open for him to come home if he demonstrates the desire and works out the curriculum with me. Hasn't happened yet.
G has some issues with his autism that I feel are reasonably well-addressed at public school. Once you get into middle grades, it's different from elementary. As well, his disability is pronounced enough to where the teachers don't feel he is manipulating them as they did with Elf. That may change, though, with his entrance into Junior High next year; we'll see. I do know that he accepts the routine at school better than at home for now.
Hope that answers your question, Catherine! I wrote a book for you!
On Adam Race
This is a press release from Carol Race.
————————–
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: May 17, 2008 Contact: Carol Race 218-XXX-XXXX
Mother of boy with autism barred from masscorrects statements from priest & Diocese
The Minneapolis Star Tribune‘s May 17 cover story featured Carol Race and family of Eagle Bend, Minnesota, with a 4-column headline reading “Church bars severely autistic boy from mass.” On May 9 the Races’ parish priest had taken out a restraining order against 13-year-old Adam, who has autism. This past Thursday Carol Race was issued a citation because she attended Mother’s Day mass with him.
Subsequent articles on the Races in newspapers, TV and radio also ran statements from the Diocese of St. Cloud on behalf of the Church of St. Joseph in Bertha. Race disagrees with Fr. Dan Walz’s second-hand descriptions, and wrote a counter statement explaining her son’s behaviors in the context of autism.
· The language in the restraining order reflects the view of a person who does not understand the symptoms of autism. Adam may be large and sometimes physical but he is not angry and violent, and does not spit in church. He exhibits characteristic traits common in people with autism, such as self-injurious behavior and meltdowns when facing sensory overload or when feeling overwhelmed.
· Fr. Walz used leading language, such as saying Adam has “urinated in church.” However my son did not publicly expose himself, as the term “urinate” implies. Adam has incontinence issues on rare occasion, and these have been thoroughly cleaned by the family. Young children also have accidents. No one knows how many seniors have “urinated in church” – all who do deserve privacy and dignity.
· Most of the time Adam can walk through a crowd of people in a patient and gentle way. And because our family leaves the church service early, there should not be anyone during these times to “bolt through.” At times Fr. Walz has refused requests to help our son get safely through the aisles.
· Fr. Walz unfairly describes Adam’s autistic behaviors as “disruptive.” Yet other children often cry or act out during mass for long periods of time. Visually, unless you sit in the back there is no disruption.
· Fr. Walz refers to Adam’s self-injurious behavior as “dangerous,” saying he “strikes himself in the head violently.” That shows no understanding, and offers no aid. Adam harms no one else physically.
· When people with autism feel stressed, they may like the sensation of weight or deep pressure to calm themselves. Therapists use weighted blankets and vests. Temple Grandin, PhD, who also has autism, designed a gentle squeeze machines for this purpose. Sitting on Adam’s lap or even his chest carefully on occasion gives him comfort during trying times, and also works to help restrain him during those times that he is melting down or feeling overwhelmed.
· Sometimes my husband and I need to restrict Adam’s movements to prevent him from hurting himself or his family who sit near him. Other families and school personnel are trained in safe restraint practices. My husband and I place a fleece strip (not rope) around either our son’s wrists or ankles. During these times he is not a danger to those seated around us. If we feel he may be momentarily out of control, we would ask those people to step aside for a few moments, but that would be rare.
· I do not recall any episode that could be described as such: “[V]ery recently he [Adam] bolted out and had to be tackled by his family. He battered his father as he was being restrained.” In fact, over the past two months, Adam has made almost no noises during church, he has been actually standing, sitting, and kneeling with the congregation. Adam has been attempting to make the sign of the cross, hold hands at the Our Father, offer the sign of peace with those around him, and generally participate like most other people at Mass who do not make the verbal responses.
· Regarding concerns about our foreign exchange daughter: Julia had been living in our home for six months. She accepted Adam and understood his ways. Fr. Walz misinterpreted the incident he described. Julia was standing near Adam because she preferred to be by him. In an attempt to socialize, or perhaps because she weighed just the right amount, Adam took her by the waist and showed her that he would like her to sit on his lap. She did so willingly, and with a smile on her face. It was an act of kindness on her part. I watched the situation very closely, as did my husband. There was nothing inappropriate about the way he touched her. He never grabbed her buttocks nor her thighs. Consequently we were very shocked to see that false statement in the restraining order. When Fr. Walz reported his version to the County, the report was ignored. The foreign exchange agency, ASA, has a policy of removing any student whenever there is an allegation of sexual abuse, regardless of whether or not it is substantiated. So Julia was removed against her will, against the local ASA rep’s will, and against her family’s wishes in Poland. Fr. Walz’s actions were scandalous to her faith, as well as to my children who loved their ASA sister dearly. I spoke with Rose Hawkins of ASA International, who is willing to answer any questions about Julia. Her phone is 320-XXX-XXXX.
· From mid-June 2007 to present no special accommodations for Adam have been offered to our family, except to watch mass on the basement TV for an indefinite time. Adam has attended mass with the congregation all his life. Changing the routine of someone with autism is not only painful for them, but takes time and effort and in this particular situation would likely result in worse behavior problems.
· The priest, Fr. Dan Walz, refused to discuss our family’s situation with anyone trained in autism, including a behavioral consultant hired by the parents specifically to help with accommodations for mass. This well-known and experienced behavioral consultant wrote a three-page report with many suggestions; however it was ignored. Fr. Walz also refused to speak with a county social worker who tried to help the parish find reasonable accommodations for Adam’s continued inclusion.
· The worst of Adam’s behaviors resulted from lack of accommodations or cooperative discussions. Case in point: The car-revving incident. Normally our family left Church before the closing song, which would allowed three minutes before the congregation left. During Lent, Fr. Walz omitted the closing song and failed to ask the congregation to wait to leave until our family had left first.
· Fr. Walz refused mediation through a local Protestant minister. He refused it unless his only option – Adam not attending Mass – was on the table. I believe that over the past 11 months Fr. Walz lobbied both parish and diocese to approve his plan to bar Adam from Mass. A March 3, 2008 letter through the diocesan Tribunal office stated: “For mediation to take place, however, all things must be on the table to be discussed. This means that the issue of taking Adam out of Mass must remain open.”
· Fr. Walz’s goal is clear: “I have made repeated efforts through the Catholic Education Ministries, Caritas Family Services and, most recently, sought to try and mediate the matter with the family TO ASK THEM TO VOLUNTARILY NOT BRING ADAM TO CHURCH, but to no avail (emphasis mine). He admits he made no attempts to accommodate for the purposes of inclusion during this process.
· Fr. Dan claims to have contacted the parish insurer. However I have never seen an actual letter from the insurer nor have the two parish trustees been presented with a copy. Fr. Dan claims it was attached to the RO, however I asked at the court house for it, and they said they don’t have it, either.
· Canon Law which Fr. Dan quotes has to be interpreted in light of Church doctrine. Church doctrine does not exclude any individual from participation in mass except those who have been “excommunicated” after proper canonical procedure has been followed.
· Neither the bishop nor the Vicar General have attempted to discuss Adam’s behaviors with the Races; they are relying solely on statements made by Fr. Walz.
“It is shocking that with Adam’s sustained and dramatically improved behavior that the restraining order would come at this time,” Race concluded. She hopes that increased public awareness will lead to improved understanding of people with autism, social justice, and maximized spiritual inclusion.
Saving the Children
It is sometimes said, by public school supporters, that if some children are taken out of the system to go to other schools or to homeschooling, the public schools will deteriorate. And so, the thinking goes, parents have a 'duty to society' to keep their kids in the public schools, even though those schools have already deteriorated almost beyond recognition. How absurd that the government schools think of the children as serving the schools' or society's needs instead of the other way around.
It's not the school system that needs saving, or even reforming. It's the children who need to escape from the failing government schools. Let them be allowed to homeschool or attend successful private schools, without forcing their parents to pay twice -- once with taxes and again for tuition.
The real question is, do we want the best education we can get for our children, or do we merely want to maintain the government school monopoly, no matter how bad it gets or how much it costs? Contrary to the argument that's sometimes heard, saving some children from bad schools does not doom the rest of them; it simply saves some. And that is obviously better, by whatever means is available, than saving none." (p. 85)
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Have you heard the argument in Christian circles that our kids are supposed to be little mini-missionaries? I don't buy it, although there could very well be the occasional child who is equipped and anointed by God for such a work. I think that we should pray before we take our children out of school, and I'm not implying that this is a decision to be made lightly.
But I hope that some of the more obvious silly reasons to send your child to public school can be talked about here on my little blog. There can be good reasons, I suppose, and I can't judge your individual situation or decisions. Well... I could I suppose, but I'm not going to do so. Enough on my plate and I'm fat enough without raiding your pantry as well.
I hear from anti-homeschooling blogs that on the one hand, we're really raising up a generation of spelling-bee champions who attend Harvard at the age of three... but on the other hand, we also lock our children in the closet and teach them nothing. I'm still mad enough that I'd like to shake everyone who even thinks about saying such things and tell them that the real closet-lockers are the PUBLIC SCHOOLS here in Missouri. However, I will say that those horrible experiences have forced us to launch into the most creative and rewarding times I have ever spent with my children, Elf and Emperor. I've missed much with Patrick and G in this area. Then again, we did many things together (because I had "only" two children) that I can't really do regularly with Elf and Emperor.
I'm going to blog occasionally about this book because I think it's a good one and worth the read. Ned Vare also has a blog at http://www.school-is-hell.blogspot.com/. His book is available by mail - details on his website.
Stolen From Stacey's Blog!
22 May 2008
Emperor's street address
Emperor's city, state zip
May 22, 2008
Dear momy:
You make me smile when i'm near you. I love you. I love heaning (hanging) around with you. How much do you think I love you? well more than you can think. By by.
love,
Emperor
Emperor finished his artwork for school. He was supposed to make a little book of monster drawings, using a new "how to draw" type book we got for ideas. He had several little monsters, one on each page. I told him I really need some background on each monster so I know a little about where each one comes from. I was expecting some trees or grass behind each monster. Instead, I got a character synopsis of each monster. This is Ted, and he's from Chicago, he'd tell me.
(Ted? Chicago? Wouldn't you expect a proper monster to be named Ggrrung and be from Zugul or something? And I meant picture background, not the other kind... Oh, well.)
Incidentally, there are other monsters from Nebraska and Ohio, two from China, and two from "Mordor."
My Mommy is Mean.
21 May 2008
Autistics Not Welcome at Church?
Oh, it just hurts my heart to read stories like this. Church is supposed to be a place where we all feel accepted and loved. NO, I don't mean overlook sin, but a little compassion on the handicapped and the things their families go through would reflect well on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Before I use some of these quotes from my blog friend Pentecostal Pariah, I'd like to give the disclaimer that the particular church I attend is at least TRYING to accept my children and help them fit in. This is probably my LAST STOP before I give up altogether. I mean it. But right now, I feel ok about where I am with my children. Please note also that by saying this, by no means am I saying that all church attendees have been sensitive or even kind. I just mean the pastor, staff, and *most* folks I interact with are on the OK side or better. Some of them have even gone out of their way to make church a friendly place for my family. But read what "Pentecostal Pariah" has to say about her church experience:
"Junior became totally unmanageable in church and we have not been for 2 years now. He was more or less a "spectacle" that was stared at and whispered about. The Sunday School teacher dreaded seeing my kids coming. No one out right said anything but he was disruptive and the gaulking of others made us very uncomfortable. One church we tried, we left before it even started because the Sunday School teacher rolled her eyes quite shockingly so we turned around and left. Nobody cared, so I suppose we did the right thing."
Those of you with "neurotypical" kids have no idea what we go through. Not playing the martyr here, and not criticizing you for your lack of understanding. I'm just making an observation: You don't know. You can't know. Church can work for most people if they want to go, but for some of us, the "meeting on Sunday between 10 a.m. and 12 p.m., singing seven songs followed by listening to a 45-minute three-point sermon" is NOT DO-ABLE. It just isn't. Please don't criticize those people who don't go to "church" as though they were the unsaved heathen. It just so happens that "church" as it is typically structured just doesn't work for everyone. So don't go putting in prayer requests for these people to "come back to church" and pretend like these people lost their faith because they stopped coming.
How would you feel if you were looked at that way? From the Pentecostal Pariah:
"To me, "church" is just a social club where friends and family meet. A place to go for a performance by the "leaders" and the one they like-in their "inn circle". They perform for you. The audience ooh's and aaahhhh's at how wonderfully they speak. How great they sing! They aspire to be "ONE OF THEM" . They hope they are asked to do something some day. All they aspire for is to be good and pleasing enough to get asked to serve in church or even....maybe, if they are real good, get asked to the pastors house."
This is a saved, Bible-believing woman who has been horribly hurt by her church. Can you see through this and look at the lonliness, the isolation that the entire family is going through??
***WE*** are the Church. If only their church would have sent an elder out every couple of weeks to pray over Junior and his family, without pressure to attend "the service." Maybe a respite friend if it's possible, so Mom can go to church or mayyybe if it's slowly introduced, our autistic parishoners can join a very small group. Just be sure to keep the group small and remember that if Jesus isn't healing this person, that means YOU have to adapt because she can't.
I know this would introduce a serious problem for small churches. There are many, many hurting families out there. I know some of them. If there were a real outpouring of love for these families, the word would get out. You'd have bunches of these people to minister to and it would overwhelm the volunteers. You'd need to get more volunteers because the harvest is ripe, but the workers -- the real workers who love and serve these people -- are few.
Pray that the Lord of the harvest would send more workers to the field.
Do Grades Matter?
"I was surprised because I had thought that grading was a secular concept, but it’s not! A while back, I was reading Kings and Chronicles for my devotions, and I noticed a recurring phrase that summed up the reign of each king of Judah in Israel. It was either, “and he did right in the sight of the Lord, like his father, David,” or “and he did evil in the sight of the Lord,” or something in between. And I realized that God was grading the king! He set a standard, the life of David, and then He evaluated each king according to the standard, and He summed up His evaluation—gave a grade, if you will—in a phrase."
http://www.hslda.org/docs/hshb/82/hshb8219.asp
In our Bob Jones Bible curriculum, we've learned a bit about gossip from the book of James, chapter 3:5: Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
And do you know how fires die out? You quit putting wood on them. Hm. Then they quit burning. Next time I want to listen to someone gossip because I want to be her friend, I pray I remember this verse. I've come a long way in shutting up sometimes when it's appropriate, although I'm sure I have a long way to go still before I reach perfection (ahem, when I'm dead and can't make mistakes any more.) Sometimes something from God's Word will strike me as being new and unread, even if I've read it many times before.
I'm working to get a good grade. Luckily I know that I will "pass" because Jesus gave me the crib sheet. But I keep forgetting to put the right answers down on this test we call life. I keep putting my answers down instead, thinking my own thoughts instead of just taking *one stupid minute* to just consider what Jesus would do.
OK, rashness would be next on the list for refinement as well. Don't you love how even a third grade curriculum can convict the heart and teach understanding? Yeah, I know it's because it's a Bible curriculum. But we can all still even learn from the song, "Be Careful Little Eyes What You See." We can learn the principles in the Word of God without getting too complicated; it's putting them into practice that is so difficult.
20 May 2008
This is What Public School Did to My Child
My older autistic son G still attends public school and yes, they still do use "safe rooms" there. I'm actually OK with it so long as the door is NOT shut and locked. Having a place to retreat when you're overwhelmed is a good thing. Being locked in a closet, no matter what fancy name you call it, is NOT. It is CHILD ABUSE in my opinion. Unfortunately, the law is specifically written so that the school staff can beat your child and lock him in a closet and DFS does NOT have authority over the situation unless the superintendent thinks it's a problem. Hmm. No conflict of interest there, is there? Naw.
You blew the whistle and asked for help. The Division of Family Services will help, right? Aren't they there to protect the children? Why are they talking to the superintendent instead of launching their own investigation? Why is the law betraying the citizens of this state?
"Right" to Public Education?
Mrs. W had been teaching Patrick's Spanish I class since his regular teacher was on maternity leave. Often Patrick would come home and tell me what a zoo that classroom was, and that no learning was taking place. It was so disorganized that the teacher and children could not coordinate a class party for Cinco de Mayo. (When children can't get things together enough for a party, that's really saying something!) But because Patrick is an A student and knows the material, I said nothing.
The school, after about a month and a half of craziness, figured things out and fired her. Mrs. W has a son in Patrick's class and everyone learned what had happened. A Spanish-speaking woman was pulled from the cafeteria to teach the rest of the week (ok, I thought it was necessary to be certified and all, but I guess not). The students all gave texts to each other and went on Facebook to coordinate this sit-in. Naturally, since Patrick doesn't have a texting machine or a Facebook, he wasn't involved.
The administrators simply asked the children to go back to class, and they did. I suppose if we lived in a "bad" district in L.A., things would be much worse. The powers that be may not wish to fire any teacher during the year at all for fear of student violence.
Noticeably, nothing about the protest made any local paper, or even the school website. Therefore, it did not happen and I, Mrs. C, must be making it up. Fanciful, aren't I?
On Dennis's blog (www.publiceducationdefender.blogspot.com), he's outlining his personal public education credo. I think we all ought to get around to doing that sometime and examine our own opinions closely. Dennis is a public education teacher who believes that while education should not be considered a "right," we all ought to pony up the dough so every child can have the "opportunity" to go to school.
I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, judging public education by the riots in a few bad districts isn't fair. But you can't entirely discount it, either. Judging the entire public education system as being "bad" because a few pedophiles work there and have sex with the students probably isn't fair, either. I will boldly state, however, that when I'm forced to pay for curriculum that is decidedly anti-Christian that we've gone too far.
I support reasoned thinking, and I'm hardly advocating a theocracy in public schools. But how about a little respect? If 40% of your populace claims to be Christian, why do 100% of your schools have to teach sex ed and secular humanism (gay tolerance and the like) when the district has twelve elementary schools? Why do all twelve have to have the same curriculum and even the same racial and economic makeup? They'll move kids around without regard to personal feelings until they get it, too. Then their public relations team will talk about our pride in "neighbourhood schools." Yup.
Did you know that the "equality of the sexes" is actually a part of the Missouri state curriculum standards?? That they teach this to children as young as kindergarten? If that isn't indoctrination, I don't know what is.
The idea that poor children will miss out on education if we quit funding public schools is, to my mind, a red herring. I feel the central point is the fact that I'm being taxed without any input as to the content of the curriculum. Yes, I *could* be on the curriculum committee that selects textbooks, but they all have to meet these magical Missouri standards. So we could teach about gay pride with a rainbow OR a pink triangle and I'd get that amazing "power" to decide. Yayyyy.
What kind of representation is that? That's crap, is what that is. And you'll find me voting against every bond issue, every time until it changes.
Look at This!!
Another homeschool family is building a fort with old pallets. Pictures, too... go look.
19 May 2008
Doesn't You Got Good Grammer? Part Two
My limited training was in the field of journalism. "Our book" was the AP Stylebook, also known as the Bible. There are things that are "right" in the Stylebook but technically "wrong" in your English term paper. For example, in speaking, I would always refer to my physician as Dr. John Doe (not his real name LOL!) or Dr. Doe. In your term paper, John Doe, M.D., would be correct, but in the news, "Physician John W. Doe" would be best. AP Stylebook also does not use commas before the word "and," as in, "I want blueberries, sugar, and cream." AP Stylebook nixes the final comma to read, "I want blueberries, sugar and cream." WRONG on your term paper, but correct in print media. So now I'm teaching English to my children, but I keep forgetting that last comma. Sometimes I think perhaps I ought not bother teaching it if it will change in ten years anyway.
I've noticed of late that states are almost never fully written out except on maps. No more are we allowed periods in our abbreviations, either. Miss. is not an abbreviation for Mississippi, despite what you were taught in grade school. Forget it. The US Postal Service gets to decide these things now. ME for Maine and MO for Missouri. Who came up with that and do we really need to pay 58 dollars a stamp to pay for his retirement?
I was just reading on another blog about the MLA, or Modern Language Association. Pretty much every public schooler in high school must use the MLA style for bibliographies and the like. Yet I'm reading blogs like this (http://www.campusreportonline.net/main/articles.php?id=1800) discussing how these august educators spend their time refining the ideas language arts teachers bring to shaping the curricula for colleges nationwide:
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Highlights of the Modern Language Association’s 2005 Convention. Panel titles such as “Queering Faulkner,” “Marxism and Globalization,” and “What’s the Matter with Whiteness” reflected popular demand among tenured and starlet English professors alike who attended the meeting by the thousands.
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I think I'd rather have bad grammer. Thanks for trying to teech me anyways.
Doesn't You Got Good Grammer?
What are you doing?
In a professional publication, one would never use the conversational "you" with the reader. What do you think about that? In print, you glean what happened through the author's convoluted way of referring to herself: "A reporter knocked on the door, and a the family spokesman answered and told her that they had no comment." Translation: I knocked on the door, and some guy inside told me they weren't talking to the media and to go away.
"I" and "you" can never be in a good media story, unless it's within quotation marks: "You just don't understand how hard it is to be a single mom," said Jane Doe on Tuesday. "It's a struggle every day."
A different standard exists in the personal letter. I love to receive these, and can't imagine poring over them for subject/verb disagreements, wacky tenses or poor spelling. I want to know about baby Jacob's first tooth and how the job interview went for Ricky.
Same thing with the personal blog open to the public. You're catching up with a friend and listening to her chat. You can chat back, too, if you like. I think it very rude of commenters to barge in on a blog and write something like, "Look how stupid and illeducated you are... just goes to show your argument about (whatever) is wrong." You're really just showing a bit of immaturity and fault-finding if you enjoy hopping all over the blogosphere "helping" people with their spelling and grammar. I will admit, however, that "professional" bloggers (people who earn their living by blogging) should have a much higher standard.
I've noticed several of my friends and acquaintences have been hit hard by the "grammer police" of late. I know it's only a matter of time before someone out there finds one doozie of a mistake on my blog and calls EVERYONE'S attention to it in the comments section.
That's rude, people. So is leaving nasty "anonymous" comments on someone's blog. At least pick a consistent nickname, or leave a way for others to come do the same on *your* blog. I love comments, but am not fond of cowards.
17 May 2008
Finally.
16 May 2008
A Trip to Uncle Earl's Mining Camp
typed by Elf
I learned about sandstone, limestone, and obsidian. I learned about minerals. The minerals I learned about were iron, amethyst, and even more! We went on a tractor ride, and we saw a ship and I got to kick the dust (even though my mom told me not to). I see that we are very thankful that we got our own real gems!
Going to Uncle Earl's Mining Camp
typed by Emperor
We learned about all kinds of rocks like granite, silver, gold. We even got our own gems. Mom took picturs of us and are gems. They're pretty. We try'd to organise them. Then we were on the tractor ready to go. We talked with frends. Then we went to the playground. Once I had to go to the bathroom. Then we play'd alittle bit more. Then we went home.
Stanleys at Home
Then they went outside to check how much water was in the water tanks. This tank is full. yay. Can you see the pump? That is how the water gets into the house. Every time somebody turns on a tap the pump starts up and pumps the water into the pipes so that fresh clean rainwater comes out the tap..
The Stanleys then quickly checked that Kim's Kitchen garden hadn't been nibbled by the hungry wallabies. Phew no nibbling here.. that's a relief.
The Stanleys walked halfway up the driveway and looked back at the house and saw that the New Kitten was coming for a walk as well. When the Stanleys got to the top of the driveway they stopped and had a look at the bark on a gum tree. This is a "stringy bark" you can see how some of the bark is black. that is from a bushfire 16 years ago.
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15 May 2008
Uncle Earl's Mining Camp!
Bringing Garbage Home
Some people up the street were throwing this table away. It was in pretty bad shape and one of the legs was off. I've glued the leg back...
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http://www.miamiherald.com/367/story/256844.html How dare he "prefer" a Christian for President... You would think that he persona...
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In one of his classes, Emperor had only a couple friends because "the rest of the people are jerks and say nasty things to me." A...
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Maybe my bloggy friend Virginia has seen a six and a half-foot tall curly-top kid driving about in a grey car with Missouri license plates s...