30 April 2009

Dark It's

Heat oven to 350 degrees
buttur Pan and sides
3 cups water
2 eggs
teaspoon of Milk
stir
putit in buttered pan
Pop it in oven
when done cut it in squars
And enjoy!

(Note: Emperor's recipe has not been tested in Betty Crocker's kitchen just yet. But you have to notice that it's downright cute. It's noticeable that he has the form of cooking down... these ideas that one preheats the oven, butters the pan, measures in cups, cuts things in squares.)

29 April 2009

Thongs. Because the Economy is THAT Bad.

In these dire economic times, the human female will wear shorter skirts. It's an absolute, ironclad fact... you can even go to the Psychology Today's "Evolutionary Psychology" section and check it out for yourself.

We all know that those pioneer ladies with the long skirts weren't REALLY hungry or hard-working. That was just a show to keep the tourists away. Don't you hate tourists? We get about fifty billion of them each year in "Cowtown," Kansas City. That's right: they all come to look at a big concrete cow on a building somewhere downtown. I've seen it once and then I think they moved it. Whoopee!

Oh! We also have the Jesse James Farm nearby, but you have to drive way out in the boonies to see it. But you'd be surprised how many people come from all over the world, as far away as the UK and Japan to see a two-bedroom frame house. Whoopee!

Maybe I shouldn't write that because then we'll get even MORE tourists than we're already dealing with. I can't tell you how often I've been in the local Hy-Vee and had my picture taken with some stranger because they thought my family looked so authentically native.

Anyway, somehow this article doesn't convince me of the "facts" of evolution. I'm thinking of all the 58 billion OTHER things they could be saying about psychology and evolution, this is pretty lame.

Sort That Pasta!

And lots of other fun nearly-free preschool things to do over at Beth's Apples and Jammies blog. I'm feeling free to swipe her picture and pass on this link because she even has that legalese stuff on her sidebar that says it's ok to do with attribution. Um, she's one of those people who puts my organizational skills to shame, but I think we can be blog friends anyway because she hasn't seen my living room. Anyway, scroll around and say howdy; I think you'll like it.

28 April 2009

Ribbon!

G won this ribbon in a track meet last week. He wants to show it to you and is very proud of his accomplishment!

Homeschool Preschool

Type those two words in and search. I got about 210,000 results and no, I didn't click on all of them.

Just about every big curriculum provider is now selling a preschool program of some kind or another. Some of them will even sell toy kits, so you can be sure you're playing with *just the right* kind of toy that will engage your preschooler's mind.

Really, I don't think there's anything wrong with the kits. One set I saw from My Father's World has a replacement part warranty that I thought was pretty astounding. If only I could start all over without our million and three halfway broken made-in-China toys and get all my stuff in one BIG box, carefully preselected from people who know what works and lasts (Hint: Not from Wal-Mart!). I think that's the premise of the Discovery Toys company... sure, you pay a LOT of money for their items, but they really stand behind them and want you to be happy with your purchase. Boy, you'd better be after looking at your husband's face when he sees the invoice.

But I have to think about the philosophy behind this marketing expansion. Maybe these companies are doing it because EVERYONE ELSE is, and the parents are going to plunk their money down on something anyway... and it might as well be their stuff. I mean, their stuff is good stuff, right? And some of these packages, if I didn't have this thing called a "library card" or a "book in my house," would certainly be worth the money.

Oh, boy, I look at some of this stuff and think it might be worth the money anyway.

But we're on kids #5 and 6, looking in a few years to college expenses. Can I really justify $600 in pop-up books and educational toys? Guess not. Siiigh. It's kind of like looking at fashion clothes, when you know they won't fit your giant size 29 body. I mean, it looks great in the catalog, though.

Why aren't these companies offering a "you're done with homeschooling/ young adulthood" pack? Why wouldn't that work? I'd submit to you it's because Mom and Dad have lived with the kid who USED to be that precious preschooler... the kid they USED to think was somewhat moldable... Well, now they realize that there is only so much you can do with the old tabula rasa idea there.

Well, I don't agree with the old tabula rasa idea. At all. Though I think nurture can accomplish much, I also think that children can and do come through all sorts of circumstances and are ok. Even if they don't get the super preschool pack and even if Mom and Dad never read to them at all. It's that "grace of God" idea that gets me through the day when I know that yet again, I've failed as a mom. I've said things I shouldn't have. Argued with my children. NOT argued when I should have.

Hey, there are circumstances out there a lot worse than ours! And most kids are ok. Nope, I'm not excusing your bad parenting (or mine! but you can't see mine!), but most of us are ok.

Back to topic.

The preschool kits: Are we trying to "educate" our children way too young? Are we working too hard to make play "work" or log it as "school?" Or maybe sometimes we homeschoolers even work too hard at making work into fun when every now and then, you just plain old have to do the math.

Or...

Maybe the kits are just a lot of fun. And they're packaged in cool boxes and bags. Some of them come with cuddly animals and mascots or movies that go with the books. Some of them, I'm just thinking would be fun to have, but it would help me justify my purchase if it were "educational."

Thoughts?

27 April 2009

Bad Homeschooling

Don't ya hate when it seems everyone assumes you must be doing a bad job homeschooling? Doesn't that feel discouraging to you? What do you do about it?

Do you pull out extensive testing records right there at the old Hy-Vee? Do you state that Joey is just like all his homeschooling peers in that he outscores all those ragamuffin, riff-raff, scum-of-the-earth children whose parents don't care enough to homeschool 'em?

(Hey! Guess what Elf said a bit ago? He said he was glad he didn't go to public school because that's where all the "rough and tough" kids go. You know, like his big brothers. Um, and where *he* used to go. And Patrick says our homeschooling is really, really old-fashioned, I think *just* because we use McGuffey Readers. We also use the latest copy of Ranger Rick and stuff on the internet, but I guess that part doesn't count because it doesn't back his little thesis. So, maybe I should be more understanding of these stereotypes because I live with them. Anyway, back to my post...)

Or is the testing irrelevant because you're too busy getting ten-year-old Joey off to his college class downtown than to worry about petty stuff like that? (Not linking to those parents. Thanks for reading.)

Or do you take a different tack... do you tell 'em it's none of their business and they can go jump in a lake? Are you hostile to people who get that little "tone" with you?

Or do you evangelize the grandparents with the good news of homeschooling? It's great stuff, folks! Hey, if grandpa has an open enough mind that he can sit down and read your children's schoolbooks out of interest in what they're learning, that's wonderful. I don't know too many grandparents like that.

Usually when they arrive, grandparents are too busy passing out the new toys they bought on the way over to be looking at books. Then the children get all hyper with their new gadgets and run all over the place. They act inappropriately and jump all over everything and everybody. Wheeee! Then old Nana and Grandpa are suddenly tired! They go back to their hotel room where they can smoke in peace, and say that they had a really nice visit and see ya in a few years as they head out the door. I can't be the only one...

And when you HAVE to talk to the bad guys at the state about your school, do you do the minimum reporting possible? Or do you tell about all the extra things you've been doing and include spectacular 20-page reports written by the children about their "field trips" to Australia, the fluent German and French they speak and the Social Studies classes they attend at the snooty expensive co-op? Do you accidentally on purpose stuff in some of the post-graduate math worksheets your six-year-old is working on, just to show what he could do? Dork. Quit it! You raise the bar too high for the rest of us.

Seriously, though, it seems that homeschoolers in the news are either abused little kids who have never seen sunlight, or they're super Little Professors that began college around age four, but had a little trouble with their afternoon classes because of "nap conflict."

Why can't we just be regular people? You know the kind. The ones who seem really smart one minute, but the next have forgotten all their times tables and which continent they are currently residing in. The regular kid kind of regular people. Well, that's what my children are.

Race or Culture?

Sometimes I wonder when I see videos like this if it's just the thinly veiled racism of the poster under the disguise of the "culture war." It's true that Islamic culture and Christian/Jewish culture are at odds with one another. I think it's also true that Christians on the whole should be actively having way more children than they are currently. (Notice I didn't say anything about Jewish people. As I read my Bible, I see that Jews are *guaranteed* a remnant, always and forever. Their culture can never die. Whether they should have more children to ensure a greater impact on the culture as a whole, I would have no clue what to say, nor is it my place to do so.) I actually do agree with the underlying premise in the video, that demographically Christian culture will become increasingly irrelevant. Could I also add that here, it seems to be because lots of people are CHOOSING to leave Christian churches to follow secularism/ gay marriage is ok/ whatever you want to do is ok for you/ mushy theology just because they WANT to? That the decline of Christianity isn't all because of big-bad Allah and his cronies? And the video leaves out the fact that there are actual real-live people out there with European blood in their veins who have converted to Islam. Really! I know you're shocked... the very idea that one could, you know, change religions because of personal conviction? Because you want to? Yeah. And it works the other way around, even. America. What a country! Well, enjoy it while ya got it. :]

26 April 2009

Memes!

Five things I like about motherhood is really tough to blog about, specially since I have six children. So, I'm going to do a little bit on each child and ask that if you want to do this meme that you let me know so I can leave snarky comments on your post. Thanks, Kim! You don't even have to have children to do the meme; just pretend and I'll pretend with you. I mean, I'm thinking some people with the perfect children in real life keep giving me advice, and I'd wayy wayyy rather deal with a humble not-parent-yet person than a haughty old lady whose grandkids are probably bigger brats than my kids any day.
Um, not that those people necessarily read my blog anyway... it's for "entertainment purposes only" for those kinds of people the way Jerry Springer is for the rest of us. You walk away knowing as bad as your family is that things could be a whole lot worse.

And you know, while I was getting all ready to finally do this meme, Virginia AND Chris have gone and given me this Passionate blogger award! If you're passionate about something, make sure and grab this award and leave me a comment. I hate deciding between all my bloggy friends, who to give this to. Help me decide by nominating yourself, ok? :p Be *passionate* about it and go, "I DESERVE this award! It's MINE! I earned it!!"

Ok. Now... on to the five things I like about motherhood. Ready?

Patrick

Patrick was born in 1993, which makes him nearly 20. I'm rounding a little to the nearest ten. It drives Patrick NUTS when I say that he is "nearly 16" and round up, so we'll see if he gets around to reading this. Patrick has pretty much always been around. He is almost always a helper. He enjoys Pokemon... a lot. Recently he won a special award at the school he attends, and remarks were made about how friendly and helpful he is. How he holds open doors for ladies and is always polite to them. Awww... I have finally gotten him to wear the T-shirt he got with his award, but he says he hates the shirt because the lettering on it is too big. He says he will wear it only this once. BTW, speaking of strange clothing preferences, I have not seen his legs or feet in two years, since the appendix incident. He doesn't want anyone to see them. He will wear heavy jeans in summer weather. Hm. Ok, he's strange, but I think we'll keep him.

G

G can be the most awesome helper when he is calm. He can lift about anything and work in the yard with me. He enjoys playing with little children and with Nintendo stuff. G wants to play outside often and likes to be on the track team. He has an acute sense of fairness (I didn't say it was always accurate; just that it's acute!). G makes friends with almost anyone. Well, unless they call him or his friends names. I'm honestly surprised at some of the friends he makes, but he manages to find something to chat with most people about. I'm never quite sure how to do that.

Elf

It's hard to remember that Elf is kid #3 and not #4. He's much shorter than Emperor, still enjoys Teletubbies and thinks he is a Keebler Elf. He understands symbolism in literature and discusses character motivation in great detail, yet he can't tie his shoes and is nearly nine. You just can't put Elf in any one category of person. Probably because he is an Elf, and elves are just different. Elf is the cuddliest kid *ever* and very excited about any Keebler story you want to tell him.

Emperor

Emperor thinks that he is very fat. No amount of discussion will change this. He knows everyone else thinks he's very chubby, fatter than anyone else. He would like you to SAY that he is fat. He's obsessed with Pokemon characters and is beginning to learn the basics of chess, which means he must "practice" constantly. He enjoys building with Legos and shooting his capgun. He likes to tell stories and draw the Pokemon he sees on his GameBoy.

Woodjie McOnion McGillicuddy

Can you let him throw rice all over the house? Can he jump off all the furniture and keep you up until 11 p.m. with his antics? Can you please turn on the tv for two hours straight because you just need a break? Somehow, this kid will MAKE you say "yes" in answer to all of these questions. He's tiring. We love him, but let's just say his sensory needs are a bit amazing and he has more stamina than I do. (Well, I'm writing this after yet another late night and early morning... sigh.)

Rose

Girlie would be just a piece of cake to raise if it weren't for the fact that she has all these brothers around. She would like you to please hold her and read a book. Another book. Another. Can she have some expensive bottles of formula? She's asking for Bop-L because she's thrown all her food from her high chair and she's *hungry* now. If you don't feed her her Bop-L, she will cry for several hours and not take her nap. The neighbours might get concerned and make phone calls, because she sounds like someone's killing her (I guess... I've never heard anyone getting killed except on TV). Wow, she's cute, but you begin to weigh the cost vs. benefit in terms of money and time, nap or no nap, crazy vs. not crazy. Here's your Bop-L, kid. Rose also plays a modified form of peek-a-boo called, "Where did Pretty-Pretty go?"

24 April 2009

The Special Diet.

I keep hearing about putting autistic children on special diets this, supplements that. I've also heard of the strangest therapies you could ever imagine...

Well, if it works for you, have fun with it. But mostly, I have thought in the past that maybe there are some kids who respond to it... but someone's making a lot of money on these hokey systems that don't really work. I mean, if they worked, your kid wouldn't be the one spinning around and knocking over boxes in aisle six, now, would he?

Maybe that's mean of me, but it seems the oddest children have the oddest diets... and their parents say they work. I keep thinking that's because they've spent $150 a week on the therapy and they don't want to look like a looo-ser for getting snuckered outta the dough.

The joke is on me, now, of course. Now I'm joining the club. I'm one of those people.

I took Woodjie in to the doctor just because I kinda got tired of hearing it from everyone. You know? Diet has got to be cheaper than therapy any day, so let's see if we can eliminate milk from Woodjie's diet for a while, see if that helps. If not, we'll try sugar next. And so on. Hopefully, we would end up learning that green beans upset the child and receive
strict medical instruction to never, never try to get this child to eat vegetables again. Woo-hoo! Um, I mean, we'll make sure he eats his Flintstones every day and I'll try to comfort him as best I can that no green beans are forthcoming at mealtime.

You know it didn't work out that way. First off... Woodjie is losing weight. Now, I have therapists in my home FOUR TIMES a week AND Woodjie goes to church twice a week. And he gets taken on trips to the store and stuff. Has anybody, anywhere at any time mentioned that the kid is looking a little thin? Hm? Nope. But I got myself a stern talking-to about why didn't I bring him in before?

See what happens when you go for a friendly "let's just chat about this option" sort of a visit?

THEN the doctor ordered bloodwork!

THEN we discovered Woodjie is allergic to milk and eggs! And cats!

Well, there's not much to be done about the cats, except "no cuddling" and a good vacuuming every now and then. And we'll have to give away the cat hair pillow he had been using and the cat fur sweaters he had been wearing (kidding, but I've seen cat hair purses... iw).

Have you ever tried to shop for products with NO milk and NO eggs? You can find one or the other pretty easily. But not both. Everything, everything this kid eats has milk or eggs in it. I'm supposed to keep a "food journal" and report back in two weeks to the doctor.
There is not much Woodjie wants to eat. The special big-money stuff I've bought him is getting angrily pitched to the floor. It looks like soy milk gets his stomach VERY upset. Even meats are full of dairy products!! How do they do that??!

Well, now Woodjie has his own corner in the kitchen full of foods he hates and no one else is allowed to touch. Great shopping, Mom. To make matters worse, Mom is not able to record anything in the food diary that Woodjie did not actually eat. So our food diary for yesterday says:

cereal
raisins
crackers
water
Smarties

Yes, it really does. Nevermind that I served fancy Moroccan rice with carrots, beans and expensive whatever nutrients. Or the other stuff that wound up on the floor... how discouraging. Then Woodjie sees everyone else with the mac and cheese and howls. Well, I can't afford for EVERYONE to throw the expensive rice on the floor.

Sorry.








23 April 2009

The Genie

One day, a genie appeared and thanked me for letting him out of his bottle. That's funny, I thought, as I didn't remember finding/rubbing this bottle. And the genie looks suspiciously like a Fred Flintstone Pez dispenser being held by a giggling Elf. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, however, especially since it has just offered me a wish. Let's see...

I think I'd just like everyone to know Jesus. Have everyone in the world to be saved and go to Heaven. Ok, that's what I'm ordering.

"You can't have that," the genie tells me. "The Bible tells us not everyone's going to be saved, so you are asking something impossible."

No, I'm not!! What kind of genie are you? Genies aren't supposed to argue with their masters! I'm sure someone, SOMETIME in the past died and is going to Hell, so that part of the Bible is already fulfilled. I think I'm going to keep my wish. Go ahead, Genie. Let's see it. Mmm... now.

"Oh, but um... I'm... You'd... have to ask God that part. I'm not qualified to grant your wish. You'll have to ask for something else." And here the genie did a little dance on the bedsheets while shaking his candy-filled head "nope."

Ok. (Person) is sick and needs to feel better.

"I can't do that one either. You're asking for things only God can do! I'm a genie! You have to ask for THINGS like a new pencil, not 'people to be saved' stuff."

A million dollars, then. But that needs to be my after-tax income and no funny stuff, Genie.

"I can grant your wish!"

Yesss! Let's have it!

"...But not *quite* a million dollars, though. I can only give you about... let's see... four or five dollars."

I know times are tough, but that's Elf's bank, ya little thief! Now, where's that stack of money I ordered from you? No fair stealing from my kid, either.

"Can I go back in my bottle now? Things aren't going like I planned."


NO Fighting Girls.

We should teach our young men that they are never, never to fight a girl. Never.

It doesn't matter if your son is on a wrestling team and wants to play. It doesn't matter if he wants to win at the state meet. EVERY boy should decline to wrestle the girl who has signed up to play. She'll just win the entire state championship by default. It would be the right thing to do because we never, never fight girls. Never.

The girl might get hurt, or worse yet, Sonny-boy might enjoy copping a feel while the young girl in question slams your kid to the mat and pins him, hard.

Well, I guess some people are into that.

But I would disagree with the entire premise of this article, which I think I outlined pretty fairly above. Ok, I was a little snarky about it, but the facts are all there... go see.

I need to get this straight with you right now: I don't think it's proper for young ladies to be wrestling. Or in the military. Or on the police force. Or a lot of things. But if you're one of those equal-rightsers and you want that job or you want to compete in that sport... well, good luck to you. Just don't be surprised if your butt is kicked on that mat. And don't pull that "I'm nursing an infant and can't go into combat" stuff if you're in the military. Not fair to the other guys. No fair asking for special leniency that a man wouldn't get if you signed up for the job. It bothers me that the first feminists had to give up SO MUCH just to get the job you-all whine about that doesn't fit in well with your motherhood and Joey's basketball practice.

But it's your life. I mean, if someone asked me to vote about it, I'll vote how I feel. But it's your life. I'm sure not going to complain if you're the female police officer who saves me from being beaten to death. I'm going to say you deserve a medal just the same as a man if he did the same thing. And I'm not so stubborn about this issue that I'll decline medical treatment from a female firefighter after that burning building rescue. I just have an idea in my head about how things ought to be for me and my family, and am tolerant of other lifestyles (look at me! I'm tolerant! LOL).

G had a young lady on his wrestling team. Her choice of idiomatic expressions were quite interesting... they really painted, um, dramatic word pictures. She was quite an unforgettable character. G is in her weight class and I had no fear that he would whip her butt at the sport. I mean, she signed up for it and so did he, so whatever happened, happened. Actually what wound up happening was that G and the other guys usually got their rear ends smacked to the mat by her. She was all equal opportunity about winning against every single boy.

I suppose there is no shame in getting beaten by a girl if all the other guys are doing it. :]

22 April 2009

The Locked Closet.

“The biggest loophole is the outright lie that these rooms are only being used to help the children,” Ms. Vance said.

This article deals with the idea that schools deserve more money so that they can handle potentially difficult situations. I mean, their employees are the ones who designed and bought the locked closets with public money. And they've been using public money to lock the kids in there for years. So let's give them more money! They've been handling what they have already so well...

Of course, there are no calls to fire all staff who have used these "timeout" rooms when they're not completely, absolutely and irrefutably necessary.

Of course, people understand where a child who has been bullied by other kids and called names eventually calls one back. Or where a child whose peers are taunting him might eventually smack another kid upside the head. There are *consequences* for these behaviours, especially under these "zero tolerance" insanities, but everyone understands that when a kid acts out that there's a reason behind it. Usually staff will at least ask the child what happened that he felt he had to say, "I hate you" to the other kid on the playground or whatever.

Um, unless you're dealing with a handicapped child. See, with a handicapped child, all the rules are different because unless the child has a PHYSICAL disability, teachers expect the kid to act like everyone else. We make allowances for PHYSICAL disabilities. When we see Stevie Wonder rock on stage, we know that his rocking helps him get a feel for his surroundings due to his blindness. The autistic kid hiding under the desk, though, well, that's just disobedience. Sit up in your chair or I'll call the principal.

That's what happened to Elf. The kid is autistic. He was barely six, *barely*. He was overwhelmed in a class of **27** kids and one very old teacher who should have retired long ago. Elf would be upset and overwhelmed and trying to recoup the only way he knows how. But, no. Here comes the principal because Elf disobeyed by not snapping out of his autism, sitting at the desk right next to the other children who are touching him in this room full of distractions... wow. Principal tells him to come out NOW or else.

Or else happens.

Principal drags the kid out and Elf runs away. He runs away! Closet time. We don't run away at school. Then we're surprised when Elf panics and the behaviour escalates. We're surprised that Elf hates school and starts to act up more. We're surprised when Elf doesn't bother hiding under the desk anymore but plans ahead for crowded hallway times or places where the teacher is otherwise occupied and bolts for the school exit.

Sure, it would have been a little distracting to let the Elf sit under the desk, but most other kids aren't really going to follow suit because it's cool. I've heard the argument that if you let ONE kid "get away" with using his favourite marker on a test or sit in a beanbag chair, that EVERYONE will want to. Well, they might want to, but if you tell them that the kid has a disability and explain his need for personal space to calm down, most kids will get it. After all, they've seen the freakout sessions before. Children can learn to get along with differently-abled peers, but I'm not so sure about the adults.

G, for example, needs to walk about in the hallway every now and then so he can refocus. I don't see the other children in the class clamouring for their own "G is pacing" special pass to display so they can walk back and forth in the hallway for three minutes. The only people not getting that are the teachers.

G's social studies teacher is, well, I dislike him. Social studies used to be G's fave subject. Now he hates it. The teacher has written things like "rebellious and defiant" on his report card. He makes snide comments about how HE wishes he could take a break any time he stinkin' feels like it in the hall and HE wishes he could have accomodations like G.

I understand the man is old and has been teaching since America was a colony. I get that he probably didn't sign on to handle autistic children and kids with mental and emotional handicaps way back in 1737. I get that. But tough crap. Retire if you don't like it. It's your job now.

Though I would right along with him that it shouldn't be. I would argue that, for the sake of the educational establishment AND the children with handicaps, that the federal funding for helping handicapped children with services NOT go to the public schools. As Ange would say while showing you a picture of a locked closet, "Does this look like the 'least restrictive' educational environment to you?" Me neither.

Somehow, though, the NEA wants us to all believe that if we throw a big bunch-o billions o' bucks at the problem, we can TRAIN teachers to become wonderfully sensitive to the needs of handicapped students. They'll learn about how to use the "time-out" rooms so that they are not used as punishment anymore. Because "time-out" shouldn't signify punishment to your mind. It's helping the child just as a really hard swat on the head would knock some sense into him.

(Oooh, wouldn't THAT be a cheap solution!?? I shudder to think.)

Staff that were once irresponsive to the needs of disabled children will suddenly, through this magical training provided at big-time taxpayer expense, see the error of their ways, repent, and defuse tense situations with the secret "open sesame" words they learned in these workshops:

"Advocates, as well as educational organizations, agree that more training is necessary to cut down on the use of restraints and seclusion in school.

“Probably the most frustrating thing we hear is that people at the local level don’t feel like they have an alternative,” said Ms. Trader of TASH. “We would like to get to a place where there’s not one teacher who says that, and where the standard is that people know what to do to support kids who have behavior issues. It would be inexcusable if an elementary school teacher didn’t know how to teach literacy, but it is excusable that they don’t know how to deal with behavior.”

"Patricia K. Ralabate, a senior policy analyst for the National Education Association, said the union is working on a document that will walk teachers through techniques to defuse difficult situations."

YES! The NEA is totally, absolutely on the side of the children and wouldn't be... oh, I don't know... representing their members and looking for more money for public education?

More and more, I'm starting to think that public ed. is a nice theory, but it does NOT serve the needs of handicapped children. Go read some of the teacher blogs and see how they write about these kids. I dare you to spend a day reading posts about how deeply these folks care about the students. So much so that they value their privacy enough to retell behaviour horror stories in detail. So much so that they wish these kids would go away. So much so that they are critical of the parents and/or administration in their posts.

Just go look sometime. I'd provide a few links, but a lot of these people have friends and one of them might just figure out who I am and where I live. I still have two older children in public school (various reasons, another post) and these people and their lawyer$ scare me. They really, truly scare me.

Carnival of Homeschooling!

Here ya go!! I have barely dented the articles so far, so am not sure which one is my fave yet. :]

21 April 2009

Just in Case.

Emperor models the latest anti-Dracula fashion in Mrs. C's house. Things aren't looking so good for Lucy in the book right now. I skip some of the advanced vocabulary, but you'd be surprised how into the story the children have become.

20 April 2009

Difficulty With Science.


I tried and tried to do the "make static sparks in your hair" science experiment. Sure, I got my scalp all hot and probably burnt some hair in the process, but there were no crackly sparks like we were supposed to see. Bummer.

I tried and tried to do the "make the paper jump" experiment we were supposed to do with food wrap, paper and a box. We did it with two different boxes and wrappers, two different kinds of paper... nothing. Well, except for hurt hands and wasted time. Friction is supposed to make the paper jump... but... it didn't.

I really, really stink at the practical experiments. We were somewhat successful at the "put the lit candle under a jar and see what happens" experiment. It's supposed to make the candle go out, and then we're going to remove the jar and record how long it took to burn out in our notebooks. But upon removing the jar, WHOOOOOSH! the candle about burns down half the kitchen with its vehement spontaneous re-ignition. Um... ok, Mom stinks at science, but hopefully this teaches the children to make sure that candles are completely extinguished before leaving the room.

But wait! Emperor wants to see if putting water on a candle will still keep it lit.

Of course it won't, silly Emperor.

Yes, it will, Emperor counters. Didn't you tell me that water is made with oxygen? ANNNND, didn't the LIFEPAC explain that the flame needs oxygen? We have to try this experry-ment and see if it works. I suggest it will.

Well, of course it didn't but I can't explain why. He's disappointed but thinks the strange new wax formations are cool. Elf says that the experiment proves that the water has no oxygen. And besides, if it DID have oxygen, we would be able to breathe in it.

Ok, now what would you say to that? I told him that we could breathe just fine underwater if we had gills. Thankfully he did not ask me how gills worked. *whew that was close*

Elf thinks that if we devised our own experiments, they would work better than the ones in our workbook. LOOK! I see that "butane" and "oil" are fuels. Let's get a big bunch of them together in a tube, and light a match and see if it's electric!

???

Um... Well, there's a reason this eight-year-old doesn't write your science curriculum.

I've taken a picture of his "trying to convince Mom" frownie face and posted it to the blog. Would that picture convince you to try this at home? How getting butane, oil and matches together proves "electricity" is an interesting concept, though. Elf counters that Mom has not proven that coal makes electricity at the power plant, either.

Arg. It just *does,* ok? Don't ask Mom how. We will consult with "Wikipedia" on this issue later.

Mealtimes for Woodjie.


Large "icon" pictures are sticky-velcroed to the kitchen wall. Hand Woodjie the "sit down" icon and tell him it's time to sit. Buckle him in and take trade for the "pray" icon. Say a short prayer. Hand him the "eat" icon and trade that for his food (be quick!). Place the "more" icon on the right side of his plate when he is nearly finished with what he's eating or drinking. He will hand it to you and ask, "Oo?" You'd better get him some more right away to reinforce this. Just take away the "more" icon and don't return it when you think he's had enough. The "help" icon pictured, I leave up for when I am working puzzles or blocks at the table with Woodjie. He can then get a choice to ask for "more" block/ puzzle piece or "help" putting things together. Woodjie's temper tantrums at the table have GREATLY, greatly decreased since implementing this system. We are even getting a little verbalization of "Oo" for more which we were not getting before. Sometimes, anyway. YOU have to say it first. :]

19 April 2009

Would You Like a Cheesebooger?

Yuck! This article debates the legal repercussions of placing body fluids and other assorted yummies in other people's food items. Is it a misdemeanor or a felony? It depends on where you live!

Once, I was in our local Pizza Cabana picking up an order. Behind the register, I could see the teen worker dropped one of the breadsticks he was about to bring out to the tables and accidentally stepped on it. He looked up at the manager inquiringly. The manager gave a slight nod. The young man picked up the breadstick, put it on top of the others and proceeded out to the tables.

I followed him.

The manager saw I was about to inform the customers at the table of what was transpiring. "(Name!) Get back here! What were you thinking!??"

Um, yeah, he was thinking he was following orders. What else happens at restaurants that is unseen and unrecorded for YouTube? Maybe we don't want to know, but we'd like someone ELSE to have an idea and minimize it. Yuck.

18 April 2009

Before... After.


Our cat is older and doesn't groom herself very well... it was just time. Thanks, D!! You can't beat free cat-grooming. He used the same home hair-cutting kit I use on the boys. I suppose it's kinda gross to use the same kit for people and animals, but I'm figuring we bathe afterwards, right?

How to Attend a Convention

I'm posting a little advice on how to attend a convention (for what it's worth; this is my first!) and some ramblings about how things went once I got inside. I hope you enjoy it!

Weeks before

We became members of the homeschool group that hosted the convention, and therefore got in for free. Annual membership for our family was $35, as opposed to the $45 they'd collect to get me in the door if I just showed up. Oh! And that $45 wouldn't include the membership. So hey, might as well.

We got a list online of all the exhibitors at the convention. Most of these can be looked up online. I got familiar with the different prices of kits and things I was interested in, if I were to buy these things new and pay for shipping. I figured that if I wanted to buy something at the convention, I'd have to balance the fact that the exhibitors would collect nearly 8% in sales tax with the fact that often, I could just grab what I want and leave without shipping costs.

This can be pretty complicated, really, because added to the mix is the free shipping on large orders many providers will give you. Whoo... then, add in the fact that *at the convention,* there are sometimes special prices on this or that... and you'll confuse yourself crazy over a few bucks.

Well, it's not worth it once you start going crazy.

But I truly think that looking over each of the exhibitors' websites ahead of time and familiarizing myself with their prices and kit components was time very well spent. It cut down on some of the booths I knew better than to even bother visiting. I personally dislike the idea of lap-booking for every subject... or incorporating an infant in our fourth grade curriculum... or doing one of those "everybody studies the same things and we cycle round and round every four years" kind of things. One woman I met at convention put our educational philosophies out this way: We're very "textbook-oriented" in our homeschools. Yet, I know others who hate, loathe and despise textbooks and manage to turn out literate children.

Of course there is no way to forsee every fun thing you'll see once you're there, but if you know, say, that you want to seriously take a look at KONOS and All God's Children, you'll have some fair idea when something presented is really a big bargain or pretty much usual price.

Days Before

Days before the convention, get your directions printed. Bring a bag or something to hold your purchases. Even if you purchase nothing, you'd be surprised at how many papers and things will wind up needing to be carried about for sorting later. Several people brought rolling luggage or rolling crates.

The Big Day Arrives!

Ok, so it's not quite as exciting as the "big day" when you have a baby, or the "big day" you get married, but it's still a pretty big day. *The* day.

I very much appreciated having my husband roam about with me for the first couple of hours we looked around. He kept me focused on the BIG thing I was looking for, Singapore Maths textbooks. I am just the type that would go, "Oooh, Klutz kits! Castle posters...! Oh, and here's a book about ladybugs..." and wander off. D kept me on track to REMEMBER THE MATH. We were able to visit several places and find the lowest priced option with teachers' manuals at Rainbow Resource. They didn't have the entire set I was looking for, but I did that thing that sometimes gets great results: I asked for help. My polite inquiry got me the answer I was hoping for: they would order me what was missing from their stock and send it to my house with free shipping. Yay!

One thing we didn't do but wish we had was to drive separate vehicles to the conference. D had to go home after a while to do that taking care of children thing. I think if I went again, I'd drive, park, and leave lunch in the car with a good book. You wouldn't believe the prices they charge for a hot dog that smells funny and a diet pop. And they do NOT allow you to bring your own, though I saw several vendors who actually snuck food into the convention hall.

One told me a horrible story, that I can't help but think is true. A convention she attended/worked had bottled water for $3.50 each. She refused to pay that price, but the water fountain was all the way across the center and she wasn't able to get a drink at all that day. It was hot. That night, she was so dehydrated that she had to go to the hospital by ambulance.

Why am I telling you this story? I don't know. Just chatting, I guess. Perhaps I'd like to make the point that maybe it's time to break down and buy the $3.50 water before the $350 ambulance ride? Or perhaps I'm making the point that you should stash lunch in your car, where you'll have an upholstered place to sit away from other people's children? Hm. Both, I think. Man, that hot dog didn't sit well, either.

Spunky's advice for convention-goers is to wear comfy shoes and leave the checkbook at home. If you are prone to on the spot big money impulse buys, I would absolutely tell you to not only do that, but to bring your accountability partner with you so that you don't run back home to get every credit card plus the checkbook. There are many, many cool things at the convention that you've probably never seen before. You need them. Your homeschool will not be complete without them. You MUST buy them now!

Well, at least walk around the place twice before making those purchases. If the item isn't there when you get back, it wasn't meant to be. (So I'm sort of a Calvinist homeschool shopper, perhaps, in that I believe in the predestination of all that curriculum to a particular home at a particular time LOL.)

So... How Did It Go?

Thanks for asking! It was great!

The place was NOT well-marked. We were circling around the area when I advised D to just FOLLOW the 18-passenger van in front of us. No, D reasoned, they're probably going to the airport. I told him, just follow the van, would you?? Ok.

And guess where the van went? Yup, the convention. Of course! But contrary to stereotype, though, most of the ladies weren't dresses-only hair in a bun types. Maybe about a fifth. There were many different sorts of people. I almost wish that I could require every person who is "down" on homeschooling to attend one of these and chat with at least 20 people about why they homeschool.

That's what one of the secular businesswomen who had a booth at the convention was doing. (Of course, I don't know that SHE is secularly-minded or religious, just that she is running a secular business BOOTH. Hard to clarify that in just one sentence.) She is unhappy with her daughter's public education, not really sure what her next step would be. She's gathering information from all the booths and thinking about things. She's chatting with people who come by to find out about the business. I sure hope she doesn't get overwhelmed, but is able to just think about it later clearly. It is a *lot* of information to take in all at once, so I'm just going to pray that she makes the right choice for her family this coming year.

Which just might be public school, you know? I hope she gets a peace about what GOD wants her to do, and if that's public school, that things go much smoother for her next year than they did this.

(For that matter, I might advise people who say that public school should never be an option for a Christian family to go to a few local churches and chat with some of the good folks who send their children off on the yellow bus each day. They're not the enemy, folks!)

Ok... back to the convention...

I spent some time saying "hi" to the providers of my favourite curriculum. A lot of these people are real believers in their particular product and are very proud of the help they give homeschoolers. If you use their stuff, a simple, "We love this stuff!" is very encouraging. More encouraging still would be to tell them *why* you love it.

For example, I stopped by the BJU booth and spoke with a young lady who was homeschooled with BJU stuff and now sells it. She told me about how BJU stuff helped her travel around the country with her dad's business schedule, and now she travels to sell the curriculum. I told her about how BJU helps my sons to stay home, and about how our very most treasured subject is the Bible stuff they put out. I've looked at plenty of other places, and in *this subject,* nothing even comes close.

Now, mind you, nothing really comes close to the expense of that stuff price-wise, either, but we'd give up our English AND Reading curriculum material and just use the library to supplement our Bible curriculum before we cut that out of the budget. We just love it and won't change that. Nope. If you're a religious homeschooler and like the King James version of the Bible, you really ought to at least take a look at the BJU stuff for your child's grade level.

I think I've filled out about 10 drawing cards for various prizes. I never win that stuff, but then again, it can't hurt too badly to receive a few extra phone calls and emails from these folks. D, the ever-optimist about his fellow man, assures me that now my name will be sold, rented, resold, etc. etc. and before you know it, I'll probably get porno magazine ads. Well, it's possible.

I was surprised by the actual display items. Some of the stuff I would have sworn would be a *great* value after I looked at it online, I was very disappointed in when I actually got to thumb through. The Christian Liberty Press "teachers' manuals" that go with the Bob Jones English curriculum were I think the most blatant example of this. I was expecting at least a softback cover and some highly readable, clear text, but it's really just a few xeroxed sheets stapled together. Um, for $7, I can just wing it without the book. I'm sure glad I didn't order that stuff online without seeing it first. The tests, though, were less than half the cost of the BJU tests and were at least comparable, so it may be a good option if I were to need them.

I was disappointed in the Sonlight booth. Well, words can't tell how disappointed. I specifically went looking for math texts and they displayed... NO MATH. What kind of place would want you to buy zillions of bucks worth of stuff without a look-see at the math curriculum? One that didn't budget for a big enough booth. It makes me feel like they didn't think math was important or something. I would have liked to have seen ALL the things that come with each "core" for each grade clearly displayed together as other major providers like ABeka had done. And Sonlight was a big, big "to do" on my list. The woman there seeemed very, very knowledgeable about the company she represents and the stuff they sell... but without looking at ALL of it, all together in one big group, nope. I had fully expected to walk away with a big box from this place, too.

One thing the major curriculum providers seem to be moving toward are these leased DVD things. Guys, if you're a company rep that just googled over and want a suggestion: I'm not NOT not not NOT paying $1,000 for something that I just have to return at the end of the year. No way. And $1,000 is way overpriced for something I'm going to keep anyway. Go ahead and super-encrypt it or whatever you have to do to make it impossible to copy, and sell it for $400. You'll sell a lot more of them, and people will start to buy them used and get hooked on the ease with which they can use your product. If I pay $400, and can resell my stuff for $100, everyone's going to be a winner. Because I'm spending $0 on that stuff right now, which ironically enough is the amount of profit you're making from me on this program. That advice was free.

I think I made about three slow trips around the center, all told.

Another stop I made was at the Landmark Freedom Baptist booth. The guy there was a really personable fellow and had all the materials out lined up in such a way that they pretty well sold themselves. I'd looked at this online and put it into the "maybe sometime" pile. But... no shipping on orders placed at the convention, and seeing the actual stuff I'd be getting from front to back made my decision easy. I could tell that the fourth reader would be too hard to do at this point, so we got the third reader kit. Want to see a sample? I'll assure you the lessons get harder fast!

Another thing that I saw... well, I'm having a NOT buying remorse over. I probably should have picked up the Singapore Science stuff. I wasn't looking for a science curriculum particularly and didn't know this stuff existed! I was very impressed that it's laid out just like the math books, only more colourful and fun-looking. I will have to look into buying these in perhaps a year or so. I don't really need them now, but I found a distributor that is offering these for a good price.

Who knows? It's possible I'll find these used for an even better price.

Another aspect of attending a homeschool convention is meeting others and just general chit-chat. It's encouraging just to ask a couple of curriculum questions and not feel weird about discussing your childrens' social studies with strangers. Or learning about another child's learning style and how this or that worked for him. Or even discussing the education of autistic children outside the bathroom. Yes, I did.

Ideally, I'd advise bringing a friend who also homeschools. Maybe plan on attending a presentation together. The best part of the convention for me was seeing what my husband liked, didn't like and was interested in looking at in the book stacks.

Happy shopping! :]

17 April 2009

Green Eyed Baby.


She refuses to wear a hair bow. She likes to remove them from her hair and gnaw on those. The bonnet is a bit much for everyday/ all day. She chews on her hair when it's left out loose. That wouldn't be so much of a problem were it not for the fact that she just got a cold this morning. All I'm going to say about that. :p

Fighting Boys.

Apparently, you can prove or disprove someone's homosexuality and/or mental disability by winning a fistfight in a public school restroom. Not being a higher order "male" creature, I lack understanding of these matters. The vice-principal at G's school explained that this fight is probably resolved, as now the parties involved have come to an understanding.

I was very tempted to ask about what this understanding entailed. I kinda doubt that any homosexual out there in the world fully realized his gayness after getting pummelled in the restroom ("Yeah, now I realize that I'm gay! This bruise proves it! I'm a sissy because I lost!"). Sighhh.. I don't get it. The VP almost sounds as though he feels that now that the simmering hate has come to blows, these young men can back off and see how silly the verbal fights were in the first place. And the boys don't even remember what the original disagreement was about.

Um, so why were they calling each other names all year on the bus, and why did they slug each other today??? Ok, not getting it here. So not getting it.

I was also tempted to ask the fellow to put G on the phone so I could ask him what big thing he just proved, but I didn't. I was also tempted to ask why bunches of boys would be waiting for this fight to happen in the restroom (it was PRE-SCHEDULED, just like the big matches!!) and didn't tell staff until about the third round. Ding-ding.

Wouldn't you think the spectators who did nothing deserve some sort of punishment as well? Oh, no, I'm not saying my child shouldn't be in trouble. Nope. Just that there's enough yuck to go around here.

Ok, hilarious post here about raising boys and how we moms get a little overprotective. Excerpt: "While I am on the subject of boys and physical interactions, I may as well go ahead and alienate the rest of you by telling you that when I see little boys playing with their toy guns and I hear mothers say, 'WE DON'T POINT GUNS AT PEOPLE! NEVER POINT GUNS AT PEOPLE!' I want to add the disclaimer, 'except in instances where Somali pirates are holding an innocent captain of a U.S. vessel hostage or a mad gunman has commandeered an Amish school house. In that case, please, do point guns at people and hit your target with accuracy. That is the kind of gun control I can stand behind.'"

Well, here's hoping for a peaceful weekend to you all. Will work on cultivating a peaceful attitude within myself (help me, God!) before the older children arrive home from school.

16 April 2009

Various Thoughts.

I have strange ways of saving money on curriculum. Here's one. Write all the stuff out in a notebook, do the problems orally or on a dry-erase board. Then save the semi-fresh workbooks for the next children in line.

LIFEPACs aren't *so* bad expense-wise, but doing this is plain old cheaper. And the boys like doing the dry erase marker thing and not having to write in EVERY subject. I suppose that will change as they age but it works for us right now. I am having a hard time with the actual teaching of the science, though, because my children are asking too many questions about how things work and no longer believe the man in the radio story.


They want to know HOW the car works. Not just that it has fuel and runs when you turn the key. If you put gas in it, why does it also need a "battery?" And HOW does the furnace heat the house and since we're studying heat, why do we get burned? Isn't heat a *good* thing? It's listed here in our LIFEPACs as a blessing from God. WAIT! We're made mostly of water! How can it even be possible for us to get burned? I wish I could literally drag a scientist over for ONE LONG DAY and have my kids grill him and let him be the bad guy. I would have to see if he ever tried to pull the man in the radio story... because I get to that point pretty quick.



And I'm probably mean for doing this, but I gave a big bunch of seeds and some shovels to two young men and set aside an area in the front yard for them to do whatever they would like. Of course, it's also an area that used to be entirely covered in pebbles and in which nothing has ever grown (including weeds), but the boys had a great time planting and watering their seeds anyway. Well, don't look at me. D was the one who gave us this area of the yard after much negotiation. Our conversation went something like this:



D: I will mow over the pumpkin plants if you put them in the front yard.



Me: Ok, I will put them in the back yard.



D: No. I will mow over them if they're in the back yard.



Me: Ok, I will put them on the side yard. That would be perfect, because it's near the hose.



D: No. I will mow over them if they're in the side yard. I want to use the side yard to get into the back yard, where I will mow over everything that's there.



Me: But... there is another gate on the other side of the house.



D: I don't want to have to walk any further than I have to (even though mowing our yard is like a 98-mile run and ten extra steps won't kill you) so I need to be able to use both gates all year long. You can plant your pumpkin seeds near the mailbox where all the neighbourhood dogs pee, and the local children coming home from school could easily pick the pumpkins and break the boys' hearts. Smash, smash, smash.

Me: Oh, dear. I'd rather not.

D: Ok, you can have the area near the front door.



Me: Ok, sweet husband. I will happily plant the pumpkins in the tiny circle of earth near our entryway upon which nothing has ever grown in the entire history of the universe.



D: Well, all right then. But you have to keep that entire section of the yard looking nice and trim all the grass.



Me: (sigh) Ok.



(Note that this conversation is only a slight approximation of the real conversation. This is the docu-drama made for TV version in which only one side of the story is presented as the truth. I'm not sure which actress would play me, though.)

Finally, doesn't this post bore you so badly that you want to tuck your curly little head down at the dinner table and sleep? Yeah, dinner wasn't so exciting last night, I guess, after all the chips were eaten.

More Convention Thoughts.

Doing some more thinking about the upcoming convention...

Perhaps I'm doing it all wrong.

Maybe I need to forget starting out from "what companies have to offer" (because my brain is about to explode with all the choices!) and focus on exactly what my biggest priorities are in a curriculum. Well, here goes:

I'm looking for something fifth-grade level to teach in a year or so. What we have NOW is working well, but I have several "extra" things lying about... history books, an almost complete set of fourth grade Social Studies LIFEPACs, a science textbook and half a set of third-grade science PACEs... a used Bob Jones Bible teacher's manual... well... I'm thinking that it would be a good idea to slow down and use what I have for a good long while in the humanities. The boys are only halfway through with third grade spelling, English and the like, and we have enough fourth grade stuff if we supplement with the 90,000 books available *free* at our library.

But we're ahead in math, almost halfway through fourth grade. And I'm not good at math. Maybe in math, we need to stick with what we have, which is working well enough so far. Which means I'll likely need fifth grade things by December. I've been buying the Singapore workbooks, texts and teachers' manuals from Company X. I've looked at the convention folks' MATH stuff, and so far, with Singapore Math, I'm not finding a good comparable deal if you want to teach two children and have an answer/ explanation book handy. Well, I shouldn't say that. I've found a cheaper place, but you have to pay a LOT more for shipping according to the books, and I know they collect taxes at the convention (7.9%, which may make the difference between my ordering THEN and "some other time") and it is a place I haven't done business with before.

You know, that means a lot to me. If I've done business with a company before and I've been happy with their service, you'd be surprised how much extra I'm willing to spend to keep that relationship going. I like knowing the books will arrive and the website isn't fake. Credit card info secure. American jobs. That sort of thing. So I'll almost certainly stick with Company X for math unless I get grabbed into buying a really, really amazing kit from somewhere else with math included. And it would have to be decent math. (The kind that keeps its clothes on LOL... my, I've been reading too many blogs today...)

So I guess if I had to advise curriculum companies on how to do business, I'd say this: Get to the customer as early in the homeschool process as possible. Your purchaser's autistic son (let's call him "Elf" for the purposes of this illustration) gets attached to the curriculum. He wants to know if it's from the "Company Y people" and uses only the "King James Bible." He gets upset enough that this year's workbook cover is a DIFFERENT COLOUR than the last one, and his mom is reluctant to switch because the next company won't have the little lamp logo on the back she can use to tell Elf that it's ok because all teaching and activities have been throroughly vetted by God/ Company Y.

She might switch anyway and shake up his world, because someday, this kid has to read information from various sources and sort the truth of it out for himself without Company Y's help. The child is getting older, and his dad would like him exposed to viewpoints that are not necessarily exactly what his parents believe.

So.

We want exposure, but not immersion in, opposing viewpoints. That pretty well either cuts out other providers besides Company X, or ensures that I will be supplementing with Company X at least in the science arena. But Company X wants you to learn about the "human body" in fifth grade! Eeek!

Now, I was able to avoid this "teaching my older children about their bodies" thing because they were in public school and we just opted them out. I figure they can learn all that after they get married or if necessary listen to Pat Robertson opine about how he figured "it" out on a farm. (Which I don't get because it *looks like* the animals are having a gay old time. Maybe it is best not to inquire...)

Anyway, ironically enough, "homeschooling" is going to force me into making sure that this subject area is covered because we know the children aren't learning the basics from the other kids on the bus. Sigh. :]

I even have the layout planned for the convention. D tells me to make a beeline for the back end of the place and work forward, because most people do the opposite thing. And ask for "vendor crap." Fancy word for "free stuff." I don't know that there will be free stuff there, but I'll see. He also recommends bringing a big bag for all my purchases and tripping the other prospective buyers so I can get the best deals. Kidding.

But you watch: I'll come home without having bought a blessed thing. I can't tell you how often I've done stuff like that. It's like my husband with house-hunting. He just doesn't find the *perfect* thing he always wanted, so he doesn't buy anything at all. I should correct myself and say he hasn't found the perfect thing in our PRICE RANGE that he always wanted. Big difference. I still can't wait to get there and get my grubby, grimy hands all over the different curriculum thingies. Sometimes sample pages just don't cut it. Then, I will say something like, this curriculum here is grubby and grimy. Can I have a discount?

14 April 2009

Woodjie's PECS Book.


The first picture shows the front of Woodjie's book. You see several strips of velcro there, and a strip sidewise at the bottom. For now, we are using only ONE PECS at a time. Woodjie will pull this off and hand it to me for his item. Later we will offer a choice of two. Finally, when he gets very good at this system, we will offer icons for things such as "I want" or "blue" and this will enable him to construct sentences such as, "I want (the) blue book." Still further down the road would be an electronic help for Woodjie, but I'm hoping he will talk by then. It's nice to know stuff like that is out there, however, should he need it. One would think that he might get dependent on the picture system; however, we are at the point where we realize that speech is not a strong point, and this cuts down on his... mmm... "problem behaviours." And it isn't as though we don't use words and say, "Oh! You would like to play with the baby doll. Here ya go!"

Going to a Convention.

And I'm going to see about a million things I never knew I *needed,* and right this minute, for my little homeschool. I've been researching every "exhibitor" online and even found that I had been negligent in not scheduling my dear Elf and Emperor's own personal European guide... you know, you can't have a truly rich homeschooling experience without your own private tour of Europe. Sorry, kids.

I've looked at the co-ops and the curriculum providers, and wow, is there a lot of stuff out there. If I ever have a *need* to learn to paint glass or make bread in a bag between now and Saturday, I know which booths to hit. I will even have my "must see" stuff circled before I get into the van. I'm browsing company philosophy, sample pages, scope and sequence, etc. If there are so many companies touting different products for homeschoolers, I just imagine how much money there is in the public school market!

(An aside: All the stuff I see listed, however, seems to require reading and speech for older children, so here's hoping Woodjie gets on the old "talking" bandwagon soon. Almost nothing about homeschooling disabled or English as second language kids. Therefore, those children must not exist. :] Ok, seriously, what little I've come across from the larger providers of curriculum seem to indicate that were I to educate an older disabled person, I'd just have to go do the first grade stuff for a 17-year-old and the teen would just have to lump having the cute fuzzy teddy on the cover of his workbook. Don't forget the crayons!)

D says that he has been to business conventions and that you get all kinds of free stuff there. He wants me to grab free pencils and whatever they're handing out. I think he's imagining I'll come home with inflatable dinosaurs, tote bags and spatulas like he does when he gets to go to these things. It's been a while, though, I have to admit, between our having a baby every year at convention time and then the economic 'stuff' going on. I'm trying to temper his enthusiasm a bit, because I just don't imagine every booth is going to give me an inflatable dinosaur AND a notepad.

Have you ever been to a homeschooling convention? I'd love to hear your tips on how to get the most out of it.

Take The Quiz!

The results have pegged me as a "centrist." One of those placid, wishy-washy types that doesn't go in with the crowd... well, you'd think, based on this quiz. They ask things like, do you think "consenting adults" should be able to go have sex with each other and whatever without government interference? No harm there, we can just "love" whoever, like, however... right? Maybe we could "consent" to having sex with a stranger, too, for a bit of money and a bit of crack... speaking of which... how about we just legalize all drugs and see what happens when 8-year-old Joey tries what's in Mama's purse?

Better still, let's just dismantle all those barriers to "free trade," and then wonder why sweatshops get lots of business, Pa can't afford insurance, and credit cards charge 9,000% interest and literally enslave the poor? (I mean, if the potential slavery is in the contract, and the borrower has "consented," it's all kewl, true? Because no one forced you to borrow that $600 for the root canal you needed, and "not thinking straight because of the pain" isn't an excuse not to pay your debts later.)

I've known extreme libertarians before, and they really think that you ought to be able to set up your own shooting range in the back yard if you like. It's only when the stray bullets cause damage to my child's skull and/or my property that we need to worry about it, because people ought to be able to do *whatever they want* on their own property without government getting all involved.

Siiiigh. Yeah, maybe I am a centrist after all, what with my thoughts that the Nanny State ought to at least TRY to protect me and my family from poisoned water, lead paint and bad pharmacy drugs. At this rate, I will be voting Democrat in the next election... you heard it here first. :]

13 April 2009

Lego Jesus!

Hey, in the old days, they made Jesus out of stained glass for display in churches, but now God has an all-new updated look! (Changing with the times and all.) On a mostly unrelated note, here's the Lego man applying for a job in construction. Keep on brickin'!

Easter Pics





Egg-hunting at our church. The older boys helped the smallest children, and Elf and Emperor were able to hunt nicely on their own. I was also glad to see that the prizes weren't so "high stake$" this year, which I think cut out some of the desperate competition amongst older children. Emperor won a prize of a small kite.



12 April 2009

Pretty Bonnet.


Isn't it so cute? Woodjie is very jealous of all the attention she gets when she wears it and tries to pull it off her head. Rose likes all the loves and attention she gets in the hat, but it took some training to help her keep it on her head. For her own good. Happy Easter!

11 April 2009

Moses and the Mountain.

Based on Exodus 19. God asks everyone to get ready for three days. Really, really ready. Stay off the mountain. Are you ready? God has some important instructions. Get ready. Are you ready? The music was originally composed and played by Patrick on his Finale software. Woodjie and Rose are making noise, but try to concentrate on the music, ok? Thanks for watching!

Finally, Some Answers.


Do you wonder about the Pope, Barack Obama, the end of the world and economic collapse? From the picture, it looks like they're all interconnected. OH! And global warming? That, too. You can find out all the answers to these questions if you attend the seminar advertised on this flyer. And buy the speaker's books. And go to the speaker's church. But hey, secret knowledge doesn't come cheap, ok? I think you get lunch with the deal, too, but it comes in a paper sack with some bottled water.

Homeschooling Special-Needs Children

Recently, LAA and Family left a comment on my blog about special needs homeschooling, and some of my comments are in black:

I hope you and Emperor will be happier with him being home. I'm really surprised that a school would "suspend" a kindergartner! Yep, you'd think... But Emperor managed to get himself suspended a couple of times in those first couple of weeks. I won't deny that the kid could be "naughty," and I'm not just making the excuse that my kid can do whatever he wants because he has sensory issues... but yeah. You would think that his coming from a "special needs" preschool would clue the staff to the fact that Emperor might have... oh, I don't know... "special needs," maybe? JUST because he didn't have a special educational label, DOESN'T mean the kid didn't get special help at the preschool for a reason. The morons.

While I think I may have hurt my son's special education teacher's feelings when I withdrew him from school, I don't think anybody was unhappy to see him go. Isn't that sad? I can feel for you. Sometimes I wonder in retrospect if my younger children and I weren't sort of "pushed" out of the system. Sure does make things cheaper for them...

He was never all that much of a behavior problem but the likelihood was becoming much greater the older he got. With you there. The cute five-year-old who likes to pretend he his a pinball and spin everywhere is almost sort of cute, but the 16-year-old who does it is seen as rather belligerent. And my son would NO WAY sit still, which is seen as disobedient. Yet he's really very smart. This kid could add columns of multidigit numbers upon ENTRANCE into kindergarten, but goody for them if they weren't trying to teach him what a "square" was anyway as part of the math curriculum. His messy handwriting could really fool you into thinking he is less intelligent or mature than he really is.

I really like HSLDA.. but for all they recommend you do for homeschooling a special needs child or "struggling learner" as they call them, (documentation, using a consultant, etc..) it almost seems easier to keep your child in school. WOW, we're like twins or something here. Thankfully, for Emperor at least, all the problems he had in school seemed to manifest as behaviour concerns. His academics are pretty stellar, so I find no need to hire the consultant and all that for him. Same idea for Elf, although Elf is a bit older and doing the same academics as other children of the same age. Not too far ahead in math, but not too far behind in English that I feel I need to "cover" myself there.

I have mixed feelings about HSLDA's recommendations. I think they want to be able to defend the cases and WIN the ones they take on, so I can hardly blame them for their suggestions in that respect. However, it does make homeschooling a special needs child who is mentally challenged or severely disabled less practical in application. It's almost as if HSLDA is asking you to document with credentialled specialists and side therapies the things that the school should (by law) be giving you for free anyway. And no, the "least restrictive environment" is not getting a couple speech worksheets with six other kids during your therapy time. I don't care if the therapist is licensed or not. Having a time period for licensed speech therapy in an IEP doesn't mean jack poo if they're doing the stuff six IEP kids in a room and give them worksheets for their therapy thing.

It bothers me that the schools are not really fully accountable to the courts for educational neglect in the same way that a parent would be. YES, parents are ultimately responsible for the education of their children. It seems that special-needs kids get left in the ditch, though. The parents are not always good advocates. They don't always know what is available, and the schools are not always forthright. The laws are written in such a way that it seems parents must say the "magic code words" to unlock the ability for certain therapies to be given to a child. And hey, when Mom and Dad don't know how to ask, and the school doesn't give, the kid just goes through his education as best he can and the schools are never called to account.

Let Mom and Dad do the best job they can home-educating, though...

It is a little disconcerting. Especially when I read about special-ed law in places like Vermont. Talk about scary. They pretty much OWN your kid in the schools if he has a special need of any kind. No, you cannot completely leave the system with your child to home educate unless you leave the state. Good luck to ya. HSLDA has been losing battles in that state.

I am concerned about a national law regulating homeschooling because I'm sure states like Vermont would like to have a say-so about it. It seems to me that special-needs kids are easy to target because, "LOOOOK! The kid can't even read and he's nine!" or, "This homeschooler is SEVEN YEARS behind our state Show Me Standards!!" does draw outrage from the average citizen. Sigh.

Surrender Monkey?

"President Barack Obama has recently completed the most successful foreign policy tour since Napoleon's retreat from Moscow. You name it, he blew it." The article calls Obama a "surrender monkey," which I'm guessing is not a racial thing since this was written overseas. Well, just read it and tell me what you think. I had thought that it was a requirement of citizenship in just about every country to adore and admire Obama, but perhaps there are a few people out there who just maybe don't like him very much. Hat tip: Darren's blog.

Bringing Garbage Home

Some people up the street were throwing this table away. It was in pretty bad shape and one of the legs was off. I've glued the leg back...