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Ineffective Large-Family Disciplinary Techniques

1.  Go to your room.  Ok, great!  There are like, five other people there all ready to play with me there.  Thanks, Mom!

2.  We are leaving the movie theatre because you're acting up.  Get enough people out in that van, pay the $85 to get into the movie theater/purchase obscenely priced stale popcorn, and we are not leaving until the show is over.  We'll deal with you at home later, mister.  Same holds true for "grocery shopping" and the like.  We would never eat if we employed the only-child disciplinary technique of "we are going home and we'll try again when you can act nicely."

3.  I will buy you a new (expensive item) if you behave.  I've seen people with maybe two or three children be able to do this, especially if they both work outside the home and/or dad is a big-time exec.  But for this mom driving the 12-year-old van and making chili mac and cheese for dinner?  You can forget it.  Here's a 25-cent bouncy ball.  Everyone share.

Chili Mac.  It's what's for dinner.
4.  I spend an hour of "quality time" with each child alone daily.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  I've actually heard this suggestion proposed seriously by some psycholo-whoozit.  Allegedly if you pay attention to the kid they're less likely to "act up" and demand your attention that way later.  Not. Doable.

5.  Grounding.  I have so many other people to take so many places, that when you are naughty?  You just have to come on all my boring errands with me.  I promise this technique is actually more effective than grounding.

Comments

  1. very wise thoughts! I've always been perturbed by those who LEAVE a place due to a child's actions. I do believe in taking that one child who is misbehaving or being disrespectful aside or out for whatever discipline action you deem necessary but NEVER ruining the entire families evening due to one selfish child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really depends on WHY the child is acting up. If he's doing it because he hates grocery shopping, what did we just teach him if we leave? PS. Missed you! Glad to see you blogging again. :)

      Delete
  2. I can see where boring errands would be more effective than grounding, but I also see it as a great learning experience. The kid gets to see just how much goes into the running of a household.
    Items 3 and 4 on that list? Never did them. Rewards for good behaviour were usually dessert of the child's choosing or a TV program of the child's choice.
    I don't recall having discipline problems, my kids were easy going just like me.
    I did ground one son when he was six, he went missing for a whole afternoon with the boy from across the road. His routine for the next week was school and home, no contact with B, and we made him stick to it. B's parents had no hope, that boy was all over the neighbourhood, he ignored his grounding completely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, grounding works! I just can't commit to staying put for a week when I have other people to ferry around. Hopefully B turned out ok in spite of his parents' not putting ANY consequences on him. :/

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  3. Kids are so different what works for one doesn't always work with the other one what is hard is the only child it doesn't matter who you do the child always grows up thinking they are very important and the world should do their bidding that's been my experience anyway.
    Merle............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do know some very well-adjusted only children, but their parents are also very diligent and kind people, who I'm sure work very hard with their onlies. :)

      Delete
  4. The only thing that works in this house is ... you are going to bed directly after dinner OR NO, you cannot play on the PS/Wii/XBox for the entire day.
    Thank goodness we have something to hold over them!

    ReplyDelete

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