tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post7251440082526284470..comments2024-03-11T11:13:12.066-05:00Comments on Homeschool and Etc.: My Older Child.Happy Elf Mom (Christine)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15047347624037697311noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post-8119935585246666272008-09-02T07:40:00.000-05:002008-09-02T07:40:00.000-05:00I am sorry for what you are dealing with. I wish I...I am sorry for what you are dealing with. I wish I could help you out but I don't know how. I'll pray for you though. You are always in my thoughts.<BR/><BR/>Aunt B.brandy lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215460638663863580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post-15872335451585116202008-08-30T13:43:00.000-05:002008-08-30T13:43:00.000-05:00Oh my gosh. I kept gasping while reading about hi...Oh my gosh. I kept gasping while reading about his comments! I'm not one to talk though. My son just stood up on the school bus and told the kids they are all going to hell. Oh, boy. He got in trouble for that one! I was so embarrassed when the bus driver told me. Ahem..Virginia Revoirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12426979985073932937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post-48786456354112249522008-08-30T08:30:00.000-05:002008-08-30T08:30:00.000-05:00I think I need to focus on the fact that I don't h...I think I need to focus on the fact that I don't humiliate HIM in public like that and how do you think that feels? Just received an email from a dear friend with some hugs and suggestions as well.<BR/><BR/>Sure sounds like the "regardless" or "nevertheless" would be good "code words" to teach Patrick that he's crossing the line.Happy Elf Mom (Christine)https://www.blogger.com/profile/15047347624037697311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post-68200241980763041892008-08-29T15:59:00.000-05:002008-08-29T15:59:00.000-05:00From all my friends I hear that boys at 14 are act...From all my friends I hear that boys at 14 are actually worse then girls at that age. Really what it is, is their God given drive for leadership that is expressing itself in the wrong way. This is why mom and dad need to channel it. <BR/><BR/>I was at my girlfriends the other day and she has 10 children. Her just-turned-15-year-old son is the first boy, second child. She was saying this exact same thing about her son. She says he tries to tell her how to raise the kids and what rules are right and which ones are wrong etc.<BR/><BR/>Really this sort of thing in an adolescent boy is not a bad thing. Like I said, some day your son will need to be a leader in his own home. The problem is that when they are 14 they have no idea how to handle that part of them because they are still immature and in puberty. This will take gentle nurturing and soft instruction to guide him through this time.<BR/><BR/>I wouldnt even try to explain myself to him. He needs discipline for making fun of you but for his unwanted opinions on your choices I wouldnt use discipline.<BR/><BR/>Instead you will need to use two little words that I use on Tink and that I learned in reading The Explosive Child. Those two words are <I>nevertheless</I> and <I>regardless</I>.<BR/><BR/>When he tells you you lacked wisdom in pulling Elf out of school your only response is; I hear and recognize your opinion but regardless of how you feel I am the parent and I make these decisions.<BR/><BR/>If he argues you continue in a quiet but firm voice.<BR/><BR/>It would go something like this:<BR/><BR/>But mom you didnt pray enough about it!<BR/><BR/>Regardless of what you think, it is not for you to question my decision.<BR/><BR/>But mom it's not working and..<BR/><BR/>Nevertheless, it is my decision.<BR/><BR/>But Elf would be so much better behaved if..<BR/><BR/>Regardless of what you think the decision has been made and it is not for you to question.<BR/><BR/>If you keep up in this vein they actually do stop because there is no arguing with you. You remain firm and you remain the one in charge.<BR/><BR/>By explaining ourselves we put ourselves on their level and we end up arguing like we are a sibling rather then a parent with an athoritative right to make our decisions.<BR/><BR/>After reading that book I have been doing this with Tink and its amazing how effective it is.<BR/><BR/>I hope this will be of some help to you. :)Mrs. Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12911621891840832728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2212741399857110313.post-84541303335641914402008-08-29T15:01:00.000-05:002008-08-29T15:01:00.000-05:00I thought it was only girls that got all critical ...I thought it was only girls that got all critical like that! LOL<BR/><BR/>I hate to hear that though. It does make for a very frustrating situation.Zimms Zoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07671798321373854716noreply@blogger.com