I'm getting to that point in my pregnancy where I am tired all the time. I get headaches. I get behind on housework. I am discouraged.
D is sure to remind me several times a day how difficult I am to live with. I don't try to be. I really want to be more pleasant, but doggone it if every time I enter the bathroom someone has urinated on the floor. I am tired of playing potty police with the five men in the house, but it's SO HARD to get on my hands and knees and clean it up every time. No one is admitting fault or helping me clean this mess several times a day. The lid is left up. It bothers me. I ought to play spy games and hide in the hallway whenever someone is going to the bathroom... and then sneak in and find out "whodunnit," but I don't have the energy for that, either. Can you imagine me in the black spy gear at nearly 300 pounds, hiding behind walls and creeping toward the bathroom with stealthy spider-like movements? Me neither.
Looking back, I think that this has always happened, but I just cleaned it up because it's less trouble to do that than to nag at everyone and then have everyone somehow get mad at me (like *I* could have really been the culprit!!).
I want to get the energy to actually vacuum, but I keep spending it all on homeschooling and taking care of the baby. When I get a break I do things like insisting on eating or checking my email, and the vaccuming hasn't been done in... a while. My mirrors don't really reflect any more. My house is full of things that just need to be straightened or put away. My kitchen is disorganized.
These are only a few of those things we could put in the category of "little things that bother me until I act like a crazy person." Oh, and please don't touch me or get too close to me either. Don't cook certain foods or I'll feel sick. It's hard to sit down or stand up or just be nice.
There are some big bright spots, however.
I do get the laundry done. It might be after everyone else in the family is raiding one another's drawers for pants and underwear, but it gets done. At least for now, no one else is remotely my size. There are a few things someone might consider taking, if they weren't pink!! For now, the pink defense works well. That and Hello Kitty seems to be a talisman against all borrowing. It has magical powers to repel all men of any age, no matter what the marketers would have you believe.
And even if I haven't vacuumed in um, a while, at least the entryway is straightened and not too cluttered. I figure I can at least tackle that one room that everyone will see upon entering my house. Then I can try to confine my guests there and not serve them too much water... I don't want them going off to the bathroom if I haven't checked it first LOL!!
I have a husband who does most of the grocery shopping. It's true!! He's going to Sam's Club even as I type this to make sure we have enough milk and diapers in the house. My father used to swear that all the necessary ingredients for a good shopping trip were aluminum foil, peanut butter, bread and light bulbs, but I'd have to differ. You really need milk and diapers *first* and peanut butter and bread probably come in third and fourth on the list. D, though, has a good eye for bargains and comes home with a nice bunch of stuff almost every week.
D gets all kinds of stuff there at Sam's Club. I used to do the Sam's Club run and I'll tell you it is VERY hard to push that full cart way out to the car (on the way out, the parking lot tips uphill AND is bumpy and crowded with cars zooming about). Now I go to the local grocery store for things like eggs, produce and medication. I go to the bread store for bread, and D usually goes to Wal-Mart for pop and the frozen meals he takes to work. We've figured out what things are cheapest where and yes, it takes up a lot of time to make those rounds each week. We probably save quite a bit, even considering gas prices. The food has been going up in price just like the gas prices, have you noticed?
In any event, I'd appreciate prayers for me these last few weeks. I'm sure my family puts up with a lot of grouchiness on my part. Please, no advice about how I'm an ungrateful slob and I need to just fake it 'till I make it kind of thing. I'm trying to be really honest here, about trying and failing. Still trying though. With God's help, we'll deliver a healthy baby in the next month. It might even be a girl!