I've had situations where other parents have tried to call and talk about one of my children's behaviours. And do you know what? I totally blow them off. I'm not talking about friends who are discussing what happens on a playdate. That's different. I'm almost always ready to get *constructive* criticism from people I know who care about my family and my children. But right now, I'm discussing moms I've never met whose children were insulted or had a tiff with one of my kids.
If my children did something at school, I'd like to hear what the school has to say. Not some snippy old mom that I've NEVER MET whose little precious was insulted, has only heard half the story, and is calling in a big fume for me to "fix everything" by punishing my own child severely.
If you call me and have something negative to say about my children, you'd better be ready for what I have to say about your kid, too. Maybe your kid got insulted because she was picking on my kid. So my kid called your kid "fat and ugly?" MAYBE he never would have mentioned the FACT that your child was fat and ugly if that hadn't happened. Go talk to the school about it, but good stinkin' luck getting any support from me.
I'm not going to go out and punish my child to suit you without hearing my child's side of the story AND what the school has to say about what happened. If anything, I'm less apt to punish my child as a result of your call. If only you had let the school handle it reasonably objectively, I might have been a little objective as well. Not anymore. I'll tell my kids exactly what you said when you called, too, and how whiny you were. Thanks for the call!
This is but one of the reasons I no longer have my children's names, addresses or phone numbers in any "school directory."