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We've Been Getting Calls for "Britney" Lately

Someone has been giving out our number, and we've been getting calls for "Michelle" and "Britney" in addition to the usual telemarketing cranksters. But from what I hear, Britney Spears is too busy showing off her "Elephant Legs" to answer the phone:

I'm looking at the pictures and wondering why on earth this was published. Maybe the "Britney" name will draw readers? I saw the headline and thought maybe she got elephantitis or some horrible disease and (mean of me) I thought it was thankful that she'd at least have the money to fight it...

And then I saw the pictures...

And I don't even get what the story IS. Can you imagine the horror if they took my picture in the local Hy-Vee? What would the headlines look like?

Mrs. C Displays Mammoth Elephant Butt at Pharmacy Counter

Mrs. C Tells Nose-Picking Child to GO Wash Your Hands NOW

Mrs. C Wipes Grocery Cart With Disinfectant Wipe, Steals Free Newspaper from Display Rack

Mrs. C Uses Credit Card for THIRD TIME This Week!

I can think of others, but you get my drift. I told D next time someone calls for Britney that he needs to bust into tears and ask the caller to just leave her alooone. You're lucky she even talks to you guys... You don't know what she's going through...


  1. Oh man can't imagine what they'd say about me:):):)
    So what the heck is so wrong with having a bit of cellulite?? So the woman is not perfect! I already knew that:)


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