29 June 2008

Celebrity Endorsement Time!

OK, we've been hearing in the news about how McCain's former prison guard is now endorsing McCain. And this is relevant... how? Does it not bother you that this is being reported in the media? God forbid Hillary Clinton is raped, but later interviewing her rapist for a political endorsement is kinda more than disgusting. Do we need to know the opinions of people who torture Americans? And do we really need tons of celebrity and near-celebrity endorsements every day?

How 'bout we get Britney Spears to be the next "Obama girl?" She can flash the crowds and do a little singing, crash a car or two and smooch some guy and shave her head. Oh, wait. That actually might help Obama get elected. No telling.

I really NEED to know which candidate Benji the dog and Morris the cat are endorsing this election. How about some celebrity mag put out a special edition with graphic pull-out "shopping in Monte Carlo" and "embarrassing wedgie" pictures, and a little write-up on each one telling us who we ought to vote for?

I got a call from "candidate Mike CARTERRRRR" on Friday. A recording telling me that "Missouri teachers are OVERWORRRKED and UNDERRRPAAAAID. A VOTE for CARTERRRRR" will assure this situation gets rectified and fast! Yay! Now I know who *not* to vote for. First, for buggin' me at home. Second, for giving me a buncha hoooey when we all know that public education takes a minimum of 25% of the state's budget. The money is there if all y'all politicians and their cronies stop stealing and/or wasting it.

Are there any celebrity endorsements you really WANT to know about? Here's my genuine list:

James Dobson and Rush Limbaugh - strategy, please?
Ron Paul
Leaders of Islamic countries - who do you like best so I can be sure NOT to vote for 'em?
LaRaza - same reason
NEA - same reason
Minutemen
Tony Blair

Um, I think that's everyone.

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