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The Secret Santa.

And now, on a lighter note for a change...

My husband pulled me aside while I was folding laundry. You know about what Patrick is doing at school, right? The "Secret Santa?" Um, no. But it looks like all the children have had their names exchanged in some sort of "Secret Santa" drawing. You're supposed to give small, inexpensive gifts to your secret pal all week. That's fine. Whatever.

But do you know what he's giving? he asks. And he told me. Now I kinda think Patrick has been taking the idea of "small, inexpensive gifts" to a new level.

You know, he has already started a business of picking up dropped pencils throughout the school and selling them for a dime each to forgetful students. He trash-can dives at the end of the last school day of the year and picks up about 500 notebooks halfway-used. Halfway broken binders, bent up and frazzled at the edges. Well, you get the idea. He's kind of the walking junk man at the school and people I suppose feel sorry for him and buy used pencils from the boy. He made somewhere between $20 and $25 all told through the course of the year by doing this, though.

Anyway... suffice to say Patrick is a little socially not-so-adept. He actually is on some YouTube video other kids shot of him, and the comments all over about how nerdy he is, how silly...

Poor guy, but at least it's not nekkid pics in the gym or anything. Not that that would be possible because the child will not let anyone see his legs. He wraps himself in a towel while undressing IN THE SHOWERS. OK, he's eccentric. I mean, *really* eccentric. No one can touch his plates or breathe near him eccentric.

But the "Secret Santa" gifts. Do you know what he's giving?

Specially selected halfway used pencils he's found on the floor all year. Broken erasers. AH! But the big present finale is coming up soon... Patrick has found some very worn bendy snowmen he received from his Secret Santa two years ago to give. Yes, he has. The wires are probably sticking out in a couple of places and the paint is very nearly gone on most of the edges.

Now he's hurt that I've taken him aside and criticised his gifts. Aargh. But the poor girl. And his "Secret Santa" has been giving him cheap gifts, but at least relevant. You know, seasonal snowman keychain kind of things.

D has begun work on a leather bracelet with Patrick to present to this girl later. I sure hope she likes it, and it makes up for um, his previous gift-giving efforts. Oh, boy, I hope they get this done on time.


  1. The great men of the world are grown from children like him.

  2. Okay I chuckled at this post. Sorry!

  3. Tammy, I know Patrick is *very* gifted and talented. His future wife will have to select things for gift-giving occasions, though. :]

    Mrs. D, this is one of those times where you're so embarrassed but it's funny too!

  4. wouldn't it be a bit obvious who he his by his gifts?

  5. This one made me laugh a lot. I would say he isn't so secret a santa if he is giving his broken pencils away. :)

    This will be our first time doing secret santa at school since the kids were homeschooled previously... I heard something today about having to give school supplies, a treat and then finally a gift. I sure wish I had heard about this while I was out running errands.

    School supplies, broken pencils... it works.

  6. LOL, I hope she does like the bracelet, let us know. I'm very heartsick to read about the YouTube video....what's up with it and who did it and how can we get it gone? Does Patrick know about it? I look at his photo and I see a boy who is deeply loved and while he will be secure in this, he shouldn't have to deal with anything so cruel. xo

  7. Stacey, thanks, but it isn't that bad. They're interviewing him on the bus about whether he thinks his teachers are "cool" and he goes into some diatribe about how the colour red can be very ... reddish. Just being himself. For some reason that's very entertaining. It could be a lot worse. I think they see him as more eccentric and funny than anything else... the "spirit" isn't so bad if you know what I mean.

    More than one kid even has "Patrick's" picture as his own ID photo on YouTube. I'd be more concerned if they did it to G b/c of the autism. Patrick is more ... mmm... eccentric though he may well be on the outer range of Aspergers. Never know. He's "functional," if a bit quirky. He will be ok.

    Julee, I think she's probably figured it out LOL!


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