I have a big bruise on my arm from the screen door handle. It's one of those deceptive doors that slowly sssss-ss-ssss their way close and then SLAM! shut. My arm was the victim of the SLAM! It used to be a lot worse. Now it resembles a horseshoe (one end of which you can't see because of the shadow of my head). I keep threatening to go outline it in sharpie marker and write GANGSTA or something in graffiti script over the top, just because I can.
So during homeschool, I'm not letting Emperor rub my arm and constantly pull on me like he always does. It's amazing how often he does this... I hadn't noticed until I became injured, but the fact is that he must ALWAYS be touching and playing around with something, and I would rather have my arm kneaded constantly than see him jumping about and poking his brother. I just don't want him to do it right now.
"Well," he tells me, "You should wear shorter sleeves so that I can see the bruise and be reminded not to do that."
Ok... I roll my sleeve up.
"You have very flabby arms." I'm shocked and flabbergasted. Really. I tell him that that's not a nice thing to say, that it hurts people's feelings when you call them fat, and to not do that again before I get mad.
"I didn't say that!" He's truly offended. "Don't put words in my mouth like that... I only meant to say your arm muscles are very flabby, not the bone part! You just must be eating a lot of fatty foods!"
Did I just hear what I heard? In the background, I see Elf is waving his hands in front of his face and mouthing ohh, you don't want to say that.
"WHAT?" Emperor is mad. "I never said anything bad! Her fat is mostly not on her arms anyway."
Ohhh boy. Um, well... Emperor... people get their feelings hurt when you say that they have "flabby" arms. That's kind of the same thing as saying they're fat. (I'm planning a good cry later.)
A long discussion ensues in which Elf decides he's going to defend me and declare that I am not fat. And there is nothing wrong with his mom. (Aww... thanks, Elf.) In fact, I am actually a little too skinny some places. Like right there.
YES. He did. He pointed right at my boobs.
What a humiliating day. I find myself wondering if I can count this as "social skills" teaching time, or just put a "no, we never did study 'how to do an outline' today... wasted homeschool day..." into my journal.