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The Happy Uneaten Pizza

I'm trying to put a positive spin on Emperor's milk allergy.  I'm telling him that he gets to be "allergy twins" with Woodjie (because Woodjie is allergic to milk) and Patrick (because Patrick is allergic to dust and dogs).  So, look how blessed he is!  He has been cuddling up to Woodjie during meals and saying things like, "Look! And we both have soy milk because we're allergy twins!"  Woodjie doesn't care.  This is how life has always been for him, so far as he remembers.  But for Emperor?  This happy face pizza was a sad, sorry dinner.  It lacked cheese.  And it was made with Crisco instead of butter. 
Emperor, I could tell, was almost crying with disappointment.  "I miss pizza," he said.  Um, that IS pizza you're holding.  "No.  I mean... real pizza.  With cheese and butter and stuff like that." 
Well... Sorry about that.
Emperor has done VERY WELL with this not eating bunches of milk products thing.  I'm amazed.  I'm absolutely amazed.  You offer to pay him $100 to not jump around and avoid eye contact while you're talking to him... but it wouldn't make him any richer by the end of the day.  You could beg and plead with the kid to PLEASE STOP TALKING while he is doing his maths.  Yes, he can talk AND calculate at the same time.  Accurately.  And he can follow the conversation.  (I cannot.  Shh.  Just... shh.)  But he just can't.  It seems his mouth and his thoughts must both be running in three different directions at the same time.  I love him.  I know that it wouldn't be so maddening if I had this ability myself.
So I was expecting this big fight over the milk thing, but I haven't gotten one.  He had a little cheese and some Doritos with his taco today, and that's the first milk product he's had since we found out.  He probably technically shouldn't have it at all.  But tacos are his fave.  I suppose on birthdays, he will eat pizza as well.  Likely between special meals like this and tacos, it will work out to about twice a month, not counting the miniscule "may contain traces of" stuff that might be in his food. 
Thank God he is not that allergic to milk that we need to freak out that badly.  Do you know what "may contain" milk?  Something that says "PURE BLACK PEPPER" on the front.  Yep.  Plain old pepper from Wal-Mart.  May contain milk.  I don't get it!
Patrick said they scraped the pepper off of some hobo's leftover scrambled eggs and popped them into our container.  (Do hobos have leftovers?)  But seriously.  How could you possibly run a totally milk-free kitchen, or buy products from other people, if things get contaminated all over like that.  Don't you think PURE BLACK PEPPER ought to be pure? And black? And pepper?  In other words, not milk?
Ahh, well.  I'm very happy that things are going so well in this department, even if it is a major lifestyle change for Emperor.


  1. I just had to trot out to the kitchen and check; whole peppercorns MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF SESAME SEEDS.
    Cos...yeah, those peppercorns have been rolling themselves wildly through the sesame seeds...?!

  2. If he can have soy milk, can't he also have soy cheese? I used to make soy cheese pizzas for a church function for people with milk allergies.

  3. I was just going to suggest what seekingmyLord said- soy cheese. You could always make your own. Google a recipe or curdle soy milk with lemon or vinegar, strain and viola! Cheese for an Emperor.

  4. Going to have to look into the soy cheese...

  5. M, by email:

    I'm sure you may know more about this than me, but the milk allergy thing I had a problem with for a few years. My ex had a problem with it his whole life. He used to tell me he could have a little milk or ice cream as long as it wasn't too much (a little for coffee, no problem; a bowl of cereal with milk, disaster).

    So when this problem happened for me in my 40's, I discovered that what was really the problem was the "whey" in the milk. This is why yogurt is usually no problem for people with milk allergies (unless your kids have a much more specific problem). I found that butter and natural cheese were no problem. However, regular milk was a problem, and skim milk was the worst.

    If you make homemade cheese, you can see it for yourself (it's very easy). Bring about 4 cups of milk to a boil. Then add about 3-4 Tablespoons of vinegar--the exact amount is not important, but as you add it, you will then see the milk curdle and separate. Once it's all separated (about half a minute), take it off the heat. You will see the white curds, and GREENISH water. Pour it through a cheesecloth (this is how I leaned where the name of cheesecloth came from!) Press out the excess water, and turn the pressed cheese into a bowl. Add about half a tsp. of salt, and mix.

    This kind of cheese won't give most people with milk allergies problems because the part off the milk which is causing the problem (the whey, or greenish water you are pouring off) has been thrown away.

    Again, perhaps your kids have a more specific problem than I had.

  6. This is really odd... I keep hearing similar things... but we were told to avoid all milk products with Emperor. Hmm.


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