But Elf, how about those daily beatings the Spartan kids got? You don't really want to be a Spartan. "Wellll, it would teach me obedience," he reasoned. Umm... sorry, Elf. Mom is very mean and will not allow you to get a good idea of what life in Sparta was REALLY like. You will have to use your imagination.
Though... I have an idea. I will nibble on your ear and make vvvv-sounds and you show me how TOUGH you are by not giggling. And Spartans are always so obedient. Can I have another hug? Mmm. Ok. You are a Spartan (sort of). Though I am sparing my blog readers the graphic upchuck pic I have of him tasting Spartan "porridge." You are welcome.