Dear Vulturelike Armed Forces Representatives,
I can understand why you might want to get your dirty claws on Patrick and make him sign papers so that you can snatch him away from his parents. He is in excellent physical condition, can take orders well, and hasn't learnt how to cause trouble.
But Patrick is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. He is a child. You cannot have him. Go to hell.
It's true that I usually treat him like an adult, but I'm going to make an exception in this case. He won't get your mail. You will not have access to him on MY telephone, so quit calling. I'd feel safer with a Sexxy Teacher Pedophile (as featured on Foxx News with "too pretty for jail" picture!) giving extra credit tutoring lessons in a bikini than have him be in regular contact with any sort of recruitment office. You've gotta be kidding.
And shame on the school for giving out his contact information. I can't imagine where else they would get it unless they are cross-referencing the census data they promise-swore never to touch...
Shame on you recruiting officers. You can't even wait until these CHILDREN are legal adults before you want to "interest" them in a career that could well involve their dying in some pointless war so you can fulfil some stupid freaking recruiting quotas??
You will not get my child!
PS. I hope that you can take my subtly worded hints and never contact my kid again. I might not be so nice next time. Thank youuuu.