How do you tell if your baby or young child is overweight? The answer is, of course, that the doctor is to plot the baby's height and weight onto a NATIONALLY NORMED chart.
I know all y'all parents are going YAY! Why should I have to wait until my child is going to school to have him tested and compared to his peers? So here's how we're going to play the "ostracise the fat kid" game: any weight over the 85th percentile means your child is too fat. Don't eeeven think that if the doctor doesn't say anything about your kid being too fat, that it's ok for your kid to be too fat. By which we mean, anything over the 85th percentile. The percentile tells you your kid is fat. I swear I am not making this up.
Now, I know what you are probably thinking. You're probably thinking that if one were to find 100 American children to chart statistically, that 15 of them would be unlucky enough to be in the 85th percentile or above. Let me just tell you, you need to STOP that thinking. The lady in the video is trying to sell you a book and you need to listen up. Anything over the 85th percentile means the kid is FAT, do you hear me? You just nevermind that Americans are racially diverse, that God made people in all colours and sizes, and that a Chinese-American baby is going to weigh farrr less at birth than my average 10 pound German-Irish American baby. The chart just says *my* babies are fat. Smaller babies simply must be "failure to thrive," not "smaller babies." The chart is what is going to tell us these things. Do not use "common sense." The chart is more scientific. It's nationally-normed!
Oh! But it doesn't go to 100 or have a maximum. All of my children - except for my extremely stunted-in-growth-50th percentile ELF - are well above the recommended but very small height. I'm sure something must be done.
I'm not sure (specifically) what to think about the 135 pound toddler in the story. If the kid is eating a few bowls of rice extra, it wouldn't bother me. Or a cabinet full of cookies. Or five bars of chocolate and a milkshake. What would bother me? Finding a car seat for him. Having to teach him to sit on any kid that makes fun of him. Stuff like that. But I don't know why the story about this child from China is in the news. This is news... why?
And do I realllly need to hear about some guy who doesn't feel like getting out of his chair? Um, the guy doesn't want to get out of the chair... the girlfriend is ok feeding him... leave the guy alone. It's his life! Can you blame him for not wanting to go to the doctor? I sure can't! Do you know how embarrassing it is to go to the doctor when you're overweight?? Most of us, seriously, would pretty much rather die.
But if I found MAGGOTS in my chair? I'd cardio all the way to the shower and then go shopping for a new one in my Lark (tm). Just because I'm sedentary doesn't mean my children can study the life cycle of the housefly in my living room.