I'm NOT going to go door-to-door selling dopey gift wrap and spice sets. The cookie dough the preschool sells is good, but is it $12 worth good? I just can't do that to my neighbours and friends. Mostly because then my neighbours and friends would get the idea that I need to pay them back by buying their dopey gift wrap and spice sets for scouts or whatever.
I'm the bad neighbour who says NO to every fundraiser known to Man. Too bad if you don't like it, but I just don't have time or energy to mess with forms, pay money, wait around and get stuff and distribute it and/or explain to my husband why I spent $42 on gift items. Oh, yeahhhh the Sally Foster gift wrap with the glitter on it was niiice stuff. Was it $8 nice for a little roll? Point taken.
"Most parents and school supporters will tell you that they would welcome an end to the annual sales of candy, candles, wrapping paper, magazines, cookie dough and other products they neither want nor need. For many parents, these fundraisers are a financial burden." Duh, this quote came from....
Wait for it...
A fundraiser for schools!
You knew it, didn't you? But this one is different and maybe a little scary. "Power for Schools" will give YOU the best residential rate through your electric company. Then the schools get a kickback, Mafia style. And boyo, with over 200,000 students, the schools in Houston are gonna get rich. Can you imagine, your electric company tangled up with the schools? Don't you get the superintendent all mad at you or the lights are gonna go out. And I mean all the way out.
Ok. Maybe paranoid me thinks it's just an odd idea and there is nothing mafia about it. I mean, they have the CUTE school and house drawings on their website, so it really has to be harmless. In fact, while I'm at it, I'll think of some other fundraising ideas for local schools:
1. Grocery cards. Get the best deals on groceries if you sign up for the program and pay a $20 annual fee. Kind of like Sam's Club, except non-members are paying $5 for a dozen eggs. You do not want to homeschool in this district, or if you do, you'd better be reallllyy supportive of public education. Just buy the card. Everyone wins!
2. Gas cards. The Richie Rich private schoolers and old ladies on pensions have lots of money to spend on a higher rate per gallon than YOU will get if you sign up with our program. The school gets money, and you save money, too. Everyone wins!
3. Physicians' offices. It's no secret that pink eye and the flu spreads like wildfire in a classroom setting. We contract with an unpopular physician who needs new patients and YOU pay only $20 a month fee for unlimited sick visits. We can offer it this cheaply because at this price, the doctor will be the only game and town and know immediately which classrooms have pink eye, lice or the flu as the "problem of the week." FAR less time is needed in evaluating symptoms once we have our index case documented. Everyone wins!
4. Book fair sales. Don't go to Barnes and Noble or browse on Amazon for exactly what you want. Attend our "literary fare" and purchase classics such as Captain Underpants or watered-down children's literature with easy to read type. Teachers can write up "wish lists" based on the mostly inane choices we offer or they can deal with whatever Central Office gives them that year (if anything). While you're there, your children will pester you to buy erasers that smell nice, silly novelties and small "educational" items. Everyone wins!
Oh, wait. Number 4 is actually being done in our local school...