"My father never visited the grave of his father, I have never been to my father’s grave . . . and my sister’s children have not yet been to their mother’s grave. It’s nearly impossible to 'pay your respects' to someone whose last message to you is, 'I didn’t love you or value you.'" Article.
On the one hand, it's just stuff. Stuff doesn't matter in the big scheme of things and often not getting the stuff we think we deserve can bring up the feelings of jealousy and pain we shouldn't even have.
Your stuff belongs to you, and when you die, you are not obligated to give me one little penny in your will. Now mind you, it would be NICE if we're good friends or family that you leave me a small something, a momento, a wish-you-well parting gift just because you can't take it with you. I would appreciate that, but I don't think it's my *right* to receive it. How about this: use up every penny except burial expenses. Then there is nothing left to fight about. Sounds good to me.
I'm sure the parents had their reasons for giving all their stuff to one particular child or skipping certain people. I don't know every blogger and advice column writer personally, so I can't say that the "reason" is necessarily vindictiveness. It might be. Most people aren't like that, though.
"When our mother died, my sister and I never had a harsh word. My mother had been cared for by my sister. My mother had asked me if I would be upset if she left the house to my sister. Now, this was not the trump tower, but I shared with her that I thought that was the caring thing for her to do. My sister had spent many hours taking my mother to the medical center, doctor's offices, and many nights returning to relight the furnace. When my sister and I were cleaning out mother's house, we had a really good time. It was just the two of us... I am sure our mother was aware of us and appreciated our respect. My sister has since died, and I still think of that night." (readsalot212, from the article)
Presently, our will is set up in such a way that each of our living children will receive equal shares of whatever we have. It may be that in the future that we will have to amend that. Some of our children are handicapped and may get more or less depending on the tax law or whatever when we get closer to the time... you know. For now, the "custody" base is covered: all minor children will be shipped off to New York to live in a three-bedroom house with my brother and his wife and the several cousins they don't know. I'm sure it would drive everyone crazy, but it's the best plan I can make on my budget, so my husband and I had better not die any time soon.