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All About Alice

(Note: not a sponsored post.  Or I would never be saying these things.)

Ever order on Alice?  I think I am sucked in to the evil.

I started using the Alice website because they sell Van Holten's pickles in bulk.  Instead of paying $2 per pickle, I'm paying just over half that.  D loves them, so I bought several boxes for his birthday.  Today, though, I popped on to find if they sold Lemonheads, D's other favourite food, so I could secretly order it for Christmas. Of course he caught me browsing on Alice and said if I am not ordering pickles, it must be Lemonheads, right?  That was just devastating.  I've NEVER been able to surprise him with anything good, that he actually likes, for any holiday at any time, ever ever... Oh well, they don't sell them and the actual company that does make them sells them in 25-pound packs for $60.  I just went ahead and asked (might as well). D said noo to that one.

And he made it clear he doesn't want pickles for Christmas.  I'm pretty stuck for right now because he's very picky about what he should get.  I was thinking about toothpaste.  Find the right toothpaste, the one that we haven't seen for 13 years or so, and that would be a great Christmas gift fer reallio.

Doggone it, I can't find the really old Aim kind.  The blue stuff that is NOT minty.  Remember that?

Well, anyway.  Since they give free shipping on Alice, I put lots of stuff into my cart.  Why didn't I leave when they didn't have what I wanted?  Because it's free shipping.  And they gave me online "coupons" dagnabbit.  And really, their service is excellent and I have the happy-memory thing going in my head.  Then I see my total price.  I take stuff out of my cart.  Then I see more stuff I want.  Into the cart it goes.

I HAD TO BUY pickle-flavoured lip balm.  I guess it's supposed to smell like the Big Papa pickle from Van Holtens (they are the best pickles, btw, and need I remind you that this is not a sponsored post).  The whole idea of pickle-flavoured lip balm is so cool I also had to put EXTRA ones into my cart for just in case.  I dunno, maybe I need to give one away on my blog later.  Everyone I think will need this product, once they know it exists.

I put in about a zoodle things that I kept MEANING to buy at the store but never got round to.  It's been so hard to shop of late, between being sick, more sick, getting strep throat on Thanksgiving (fun!) and also not being able to get out much/pick things up well.  Little things.  Detangler, shampoo, celery flavoured potato chips (whoops), some sort of interesting-looking coffee to mix with my Folgers, a box of garlic pickles for ME and um... $30-something worth of cheesy potato fries.

Welllll... I don't really need the potato fries.  Even though there are 90 packs of them in a box and the children would really really like them for school.  Out of the cart it goes.  Browse around some more.  Go back to look at the cheesy potato fries. Welllll they're baked.  And that's really good.  And um, they're different from the little chip bags the children have brought to school for years.  That's also good.  You know it's bad when the free lunch kids make fun of your kids because they pack the same thing every day.

Back into the cart.  Look at all my numbers at checkout time.  Out of the cart.  Fish around for passwords, reset passwords, start to check out my stuff.  La la la.  I'm almost done...

"Do you want one of these last-minute deals?" the computer asks me.  AND THERE ARE THOSE BLASTED CHEESY FRIES!!

Into the cart they go, doggone it.  God wants me to have the cheesy fries.  Ok.  (Patrick says that the Alice people track me and see how indecisive I am, but we all know better.) 

Welp, I hope the children like them.  All 90 of them.  Why did I do that?  I still don't get it.  I'm almost never an impulse buyer.


  1. Well I have never heard of ANY of those products you described but I wish we had them here!
    and yes...I'm an impulsive shopper too. AND and impulsive eater..AND and impulsive Fbk'r *sigh*

  2. Nope, it wasn't God at all. Patrick is right, Alice was tracking you and put those cheesy fries right in your temptation path.

    Pickle flavoured lip balm??
    I'll stick to strawberry or cocoa butter, thanks.

  3. I think I really need to go get some of that pickle flavored lip balm. If it's dill. Because dill is the only kind of pickle I like.

  4. Never heard of Alice...and am now a wee bit scared to check it out. lol


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