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Now that Christmas break is here, Elf and Emperor and I are sorta homeschooling together.  I told Elf that I need him to do something besides sit around all break.  I know he will be a crabby apple if he doesn't have some sort of schedule.  But I'll be generous.  Not only would I give him EVERY WEEKEND off, but also Christmas Day AND Christmas Eve!  An incredible amount of time off.

They both felt a bit gypped, though, when they figured out that Christmas Eve and Day are over the weekend.  Oh, well.  :)

The three of us went shopping out of town today just because.  I just took Emperor on the escalator and he literally fell all over the place.  He doesn't understand this concept of the stairs opening up, and I've explained and explained about holding the rail and the yellow lines being on the end of each step... to no avail.  He still wobbles a bit when the stairs pop out and about flies off the escalator as they are retracting... I want to say that he does it exactly as Steve gains his balance after a "skidoo" on the Blue's Clues show.  Exactly.  I'd like to take real stairs when I'm with him, but some places, they're just not available.

Poor Emperor is very smart, but he also can't seem to figure out that random people don't want to discuss what the writing on their shirts mean when they are on line with him.  "Why would they be wearing it in such big letters if they didn't want to discuss it?" he wants to know.  I told him it was supposed to be a one-sided conversation.  Emperor doesn't get how you can even *have* a one-sided conversation.  Where do I get these ideas from?

Bah.  Okayy, nevermind.

On the way out, he asked the cashier about whether it would be ok under the store's "no weapons" policy for him to bring his shield in.  Because technically it could be considered a weapon but see mostly? it is a defensive piece of equipment.  So what do you think?

"What?"  The cashier was clueless and had that "did I just hear that correctly" look on her face. Well... she thinks it would be ok for him to bring the shield in.  She guesses.  Emperor told her that if she's going to work there, she really ought to know the rules of her own store.

Times like this, I am glad we were shopping out of town.  But that went off better than his telling someone at the end of a boring paperwork meeting awhile back that honestly he doesn't know howcome you even need to get paid because you really did no work but just sat around and said nothing.


D hates these particular paperpushers and thought that was the best zinger ever when he heard that one.  Emperor though?  Just was trying to chat and isn't quite sure why he is laughed at all the time, or people get upset with him.


  1. Wouldn't the world be simpler if we all had Emperor's innocence and thoughts?

    (I especially like the paper pusher thoughts!!!)

  2. I'm not impressed by the checkout chick's answer, but maybe she was tired or just having a bad day. I remember once having an amazing conversation with a 5 year old girl about strawberry flavoured lip balm vs chocolate flavoured.
    I would have loved a conversation about a shield.


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