Which means I'm off-kilter, really. The people who live with me will tell you it doesn't take much.
Elf opened the fridge and an entire package of salami somehow fell out, flipped upside-down, opened, and spilled all over the floor.
It was tragic! That was D's salami. He had juuust bought it at Sam's Club. Sam's Club is 20 minutes away, so that's like a whole hour's worth of work right there when you consider the shopping that has to be done.
So I'm annoyed. I tell Elf to pick up the salami, put the dirty parts in the trash and save the clean stuff.
And he goes and throws the whole package away! He made sure to mix all the salami up during the clean-up process, too.
I tried explaining to him that you only throw away the parts that actually touched the ground, not the clean stuff that is on top of the dirty stuff. I'm even getting little papers out and demonstrating the process on my kitchen counter with an annoyed tone. Elf is explaining that everything is touching everything so it all gets chucked.
I'm so mad. I made him call his dad at work to explain what happened because I sure wasn't gonna be the fall guy for all this. And I was all miffed about this and some other stuff and Patrick just tells Elf, "She just needs something to be mad about right now."
Goody! I've sure found something now! Now I'm all mad at Patrick. Lots of bickering ensues.
Have you had one of those mornings recently?
I haven't been feeling well and Emperor kindly reviewed all my symptoms and came up with "influenza." He said this was "quite likely, as you display at least one respiratory symptom and one constitutional symptom."
Yeah, my freedom of speech thing has been in full force lately, but I'm not saying anything because that's been getting me into trouble.
"How long has this been going on?" he wondered. I told him about two weeks.
"It's not influenza, then," he said. "Given that you have had some cold symptoms earlier, it still could be, but it's unlikely."
Patrick tells me my symptoms indicate "lack of good sleep," and that I might go try that sometime and see if my life improves. Brilliant.