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Selfies Kill!

‘I lost my friends, my education, my health and almost my life. The only thing I cared about was having my phone with me so I could satisfy the urge to capture a picture of myself at any time of the day.'

Yep.  Taking too many selfies means you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and are very ill.   You could, like, be overwhelmed with grief and go try to off yourself if your pictures don't turn out juuuust right.  This is a very serious and deadly disease!  Eeep!  (Article here.)

So these "selfie sickos" need cognitive behavioural therapy and bla bla bla to the tune of billions of dollars (my made-up estimate).  My program is way cheaper, folks.  You keep paying for internet access and all that, and I just swipe your phone.  I always wanted one that would connect to the internetz and take pictures and do that texting thing and so forth.  Ok.  To be competitive with my psychiatry-practicing colleagues nearby, I will charge a $50 copay for the service.  You know.  I don't want to undercut my competition, even though my therapeutic program is probably just as effective as anyone else's.

PS Does my butt look fat from this angle?  Maybe don't answer that or I'll cry and need like, lots of therapy, too.

Comments

  1. Oh dear therapy is big business they would have us all in it if possible, keep taking you selfies they are fun.
    Merle..............

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  2. HAHA! You mean being the most annoying person around is a diagnose-able and treatable situation? That is good news!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry! Just this one ASPECT of being the most annoying person around is diagnoseable and treatable. :)

      Delete
  3. That first paragraph absolutely stunned me. WHEN did people become so self-involved to the exclusion of all others? HOW did this happen? WHY?
    It's my opinion that cameras and phones should never have been placed in the same machine. I'm not too sure about phones with internet either. We just DON'T need to be connected 24/7. A few generations from now, we'll be robots.
    Our grandchildren's grandchildren will be robots. sad sad sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's a nifty idea... maybe... someday we could call in an emergency and send pictures to the dispatch office.

      Or if we're on vacation, we don't need to bring the camera if we have a great phone! (I don't, but just in theory.)

      People just have no dang self-control. Put the thing in your pocket! I have a hammer, too, but I don't run around swacking things with it all the time. :)

      Delete
  4. Very funny, yet sadly probably a bit true!

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    Replies
    1. I haven't seen YOU post any selfies lately. Hmmm. :)

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  5. Okay, I have to talk from my weird perspective. As a mom to 7 who looooooves pictures and looooooves to write, a smartphone was a genius design! Way before smartphones I was taking tons and tons of pictures and posting on my blog. smartphones with social media just added to the fun! No, I don't care for selfies too much unless one of my kids asks me to have one with them. I've met some pretty amazing people online that have helped me through some really, really bad times. When homeschooling, I've referred to my smartphone many times to find answers to questions. I no longer have to run to my computer every time I need to look up something. I looooooove my smartphone. I do hate it when a friend texts and plays on her phone when we are out to eat. We can't talk like that. I don't like it replacing my children or husband. It should never replace anyone in my life. Unless of course they are annoying. J/K. haha

    ReplyDelete

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