If you've ever seen a sea cucumber, you know they can throw up their guts when they feel threatened. That's what I'm like. My guts are popping out, and the surgeon showed me about how big the gap is. Just under the size of a tennis ball. He wants the surgery right away, but D is very busy tomorrow and it must wait until Monday. From what I'm hearing, it sure shouldn't be an "outpatient" surgery, given what they have to do. And fevers are "normal?" Oozing stuff out of your guts, also normal? Horrible bruising and swelling, normal?
And how am I going to not lift anything heavier than a milk jug for TWO WEEKS?? If I hadn't been reallly thinking about my spiritual life, I'd have been cussing about now. How's this all going to happen? Oh, and D is working this weekend so a lot of the last-minute shopping and cleaning just isn't going to happen. It just isn't.
I'm very nervous and upset about this, but I am trying to be all spritual and focus on the fact that God is in control. You know, if I die on the table it'll be ok. Same if I come home and everyone eats pop-tarts for two weeks and someone finds out we're eating nothing but pop-tarts and they take the children away for living in an unkempt house and I never see them again and they all wind up heathen, unsaved and going to hell it's gonna be ok.
I'm not worried about it! Ok, I'm really worried about it, but it's still true that God is in control. Please pray that I make it until Monday ok because I gather it's a rather largish gap and my bowel is stuck which is not a good thing. It would be an emergency if it couldn't be periodically unstuck by punching my gut just-so. So I am very grateful that we're catching this before it is a dire emergency and I would have no time to find childcare. D will stay home part of the time and I guess Patrick will not be able to tutor when D has to go back to work.