Salamigate 2013

Exhibit A.

I'm already crabby and grumpy because no one listens to me.  If only everyone did everything exactly as I said, nothing bad would ever happen.  But nooo.  Tragedy upon tragedy had to happen in my home this morning, because the routine is slightly off-kilter.

Which means I'm off-kilter, really.  The people who live with me will tell you it doesn't take much.

Elf opened the fridge and an entire package of salami somehow fell out, flipped upside-down, opened, and spilled all over the floor. 

It was tragic!  That was D's salami.  He had juuust bought it at Sam's Club.  Sam's Club is 20 minutes away, so that's like a whole hour's worth of work right there when you consider the shopping that has to be done.

So I'm annoyed.  I tell Elf to pick up the salami, put the dirty parts in the trash and save the clean stuff.

And he goes and throws the whole package away!  He made sure to mix all the salami up during the clean-up process, too.

I tried explaining to him that you only throw away the parts that actually touched the ground, not the clean stuff that is on top of the dirty stuff.  I'm even getting little papers out and demonstrating the process on my kitchen counter with an annoyed tone.  Elf is explaining that everything is touching everything so it all gets chucked.

I'm so mad.  I made him call his dad at work to explain what happened because I sure wasn't gonna be the fall guy for all this.  And I was all miffed about this and some other stuff and Patrick just tells Elf, "She just needs something to be mad about right now."

Goody!  I've sure found something now!  Now I'm all mad at Patrick.  Lots of bickering ensues.

Have you had one of those mornings recently?

I haven't been feeling well and Emperor kindly reviewed all my symptoms and came up with "influenza."  He said this was "quite likely, as you display at least one respiratory symptom and one constitutional symptom."

Yeah, my freedom of speech thing has been in full force lately, but I'm not saying anything because that's been getting me into trouble.

"How long has this been going on?" he wondered.  I told him about two weeks.

"It's not influenza, then," he said.  "Given that you have had some cold symptoms earlier, it still could be, but it's unlikely."

Patrick tells me my symptoms indicate "lack of good sleep," and that I might go try that sometime and see if my life improves.  Brilliant.

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope your weekend is relaxing.  This is part of the card Woodjie made for me at school.  :)

LINC Chess K-6 Division Winner!

G came in 11th in the K-12 Division and Emperor was first in K-6.  Not only did he get a great trophy, he also received a lightweight tournament chess bag and board.  See how the board rolls up and goes into the holder at the bottom?  Nifty.  Has anyone else been having trouble with blogger?  There is a reason why I haven't popped by to say hello to anyone lately.

Be Thankful! :)

A friend posted this with the status that we "take entirely too much for granted."  I think she's right.

Memoir of Mopsy

The author at home.

A Guest Post by Elf

Poor cat.  She has never been this sick before.  And it's only getting worse.  It seemed just yesterday that she was looking up to me, begging to be petted.  I shooed her away.  Now that she is suffering, I feel so guilty.

She's been left in the room, practically climbing the walls.  It's almost as if she's looking for a way out, looking for someone, looking for an escape from the prison she's in. 

Before we see her, mom calls the eldest children, my two big brothers.  I hear mother telling them something about Mopsy that I couldn't hear.  Then mom says for us to wait while my brothers say "Hi," to Mopsy.  I can tell from her look that there's more to this than she's letting on.

My big brothers come down the stairs, saying they had their turn.  Now, it's my turn to talk to her.  I go into the kitchen to talk to Mopsy.

She looks terrible.  I've never seen her like this.  She lies on the floor, her breathing raspy.  Her eyes seem to look as they are hard for her to lift.  Her eyes look up to me, almost begging for me to help her.  I say things to Mopsy.  I stroke her once sleek black fur, now in tatters because her illness causes her to lose hair.

"I'm sorry for you, Mopsy," I say.  "And I wish this didn't happen to you."

I start choking up.  Tears run down my cheeks as I wish I was powerful enough to help her.  But I'm not a doctor.  I'm not an expert.  I'm not a superhero.  I'm not God.  I'm a boy that wishes he could help her.  I'm a normal boy, who wants to help the cat he's known for his entire life.  I'm a boy who wants to keep the cat alive.

What can I do?

Her green eyes seem to be begging for help, begging not to go through this, begging for it to be over, and I am helpless to help her.  Down the stairs I went, letting my younger brother say his words to her.

After a while, my brother comes down the stairs, crying.  My mother tells me words that I knew were coming.  I knew the words before she said them.  I knew she came to tell me:

"Mopsy is dead."

I knew the words were coming, but I couldn't help crying after she said them.  I bury my face in my mother's embrace feeling the warmth of the people who are still with me.

Even years later, I remember the day well.  The memory of Mopsy remains, even if her body doesn't.  Even though I've gotten over it, I still can't ignore the scar death has left in my life.

Another Chess Photo!

Emperor came in first in the Monday month-long tournament, and tied for first in the Wednesday night month-long tournament for April.  He wins a total of $50!  His CXR rating is much higher now, so it will be much harder to get that sort of cash after this because he will be competing in a higher section.  Emperor says that what he wants to do with the money is buy Minecraft.

An Excuse to Change the Law

You just watch the laws in Great Britain change because of this:

Mummy loves her little homeschooling children so much that she forces one of them to get pregnant using mail-order sperm so she can have more little kiddies to love.  Isn't that sweet?

Also, the children are isolated so that the young woman in question didn't know how to register a complaint or talk about the weirdness of Mum's request.  True to form, educrats are not letting a good personal (and very unusual) crisis go to waste.

"It is clear that public bodies must highlight the major public policy issues which arise from this case. The relevant local Safeguarding Children Board has undertaken a serious case review and they aim to have this published in the coming weeks," a representative from the local Safeguarding Children Board was quoted in the article.

I'm sorry, but new laws are not going to prevent odd situations like this.  How many people go, "I think I'll start homeschooling so I can impregnate my kid with sperm from some dude I don't know?"  Really?

Let's hear about some of the crap that happens in public schools and then we'll talk about how unsafe homeschooling might be.  Here are not one but two recent stories in the local news that deal with the "hand sanitizer" issue alone.  And that is only out of the reported stories. 

There are just some sick people out there, and I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't.  I do think they should be regulating the "transporting/delivering of various bodily liquids" aspect of this story way before they mess with homeschooling.  I mean, that practice has to be a public health hazard as well as being immoral and disgusting.  Eew.