Well, Emperor's knee has been bugging him for a while now. He can't remember injuring it, and it doesn't look red or swollen, but he's limping everywhere. I finally took him to the doctor. The doctor wants to know how it happened (no idea) and how long it's been going on.
Emperor wanted to be very specific about answering this question. "It was one full day, and perhaps a little less than three-fourths of the next day, so maybe five-eighths? I'm not sure. I would prolly just say one and three-quarters if I were rounding in fourths but it doesn't hurt when I'm sleeping so maybe I should just say ONE day. Or would you like to know how many days, like whole days, altogether? Or should I just say one day and part of the next day?"
I told the bewildered doctor just to write down two days. He has told us to give the kid some asprin and come back if it isn't better in "awhile." Emperor wants to know exactly how long do you mean by "awhile?" Can you give an answer in hours?
Do you wonder why I often tell my kids they can say "hi" and nothing else to strangers? And can you tell we're studying fractions? Emperor's concern with taking medicine wasn't the ingredients (who cares about drug ingredients, eh?) but WHERE the medicine was made. He's not sure if he wants something from China. It's from Fort Washington, Pennsylvania, kid.
Oh, Washington. I guess it's ok, then.
(aaargh)
I'm really *trying* to work on our behaviour and how to be polite in public. It seems the more impolite my children are, the less we get out. The less we all get out, the harder it is to be polite. Not to mention Woodjie. We love Woodjie. He's sort of a wild card.
So. We're working on "how to make an introduction." Our Bob Jones curriculum has beautiful pictures of little boys in ties introducing one another at church. We're instructed to think of one interesting thing about a person (not embarrassing stuff, please!) when making an introduction. For example, the curriculum gave us "Mark," who is in third grade and enjoys riding bicycles after school. Now, it instructs us, YOU think of two friends that you would like to introduce to each other and name an interesting fact about each of them.
We don't get out much. One of the answers was "GOD," who made the world. Um, the problem with that, you guys, is that no one could see GOD and live. It would make a crummy sort of an introduction if your friends dropped dead in the church foyer. Visitors don't like seeing that sort of thing.
"OH, but that's cool! Ok, so here's how we'll do it," Elf plans. "I'll tie a blindfold on and bring GOD into church and introduce Him to everybody. Everybody will go to heaven!"
Emperor is not so sure. "But how are we going to tell GOD something interesting about our friends if He already knows everything? It wouldn't be polite for us not to say something...?"
That's a real problem. Apparently finding GOD, blindfolding yourself before seeing Him, and leading him all around town are NOT logistical problems. Just so you know.
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
I have 2 children that say whatever comes in their mind. So when we would go to my dr appt. I would literally sit there putting my hand over their mouth about every few minutes because they would interrupt or say off-the-wall things.
ReplyDeleteThey do that with strangers too.
I am amazed you don't run from your house screaming sometimes or split your sides from laughing all day!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose son is autistic. He tells this story. They were at a party. His son went and stood next to bald man. He then loudly instructed everyone in the room who had hair to raise their hands.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that fractions are sinking in rather well [smile].
ReplyDelete~Luke
I have two special needs children who display autistic tenancies, but not quite enough to win the privilege of owning the diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteI definitely can sympathize with your child/children saying all manner of strange and inappropriate things. My daughter (who is almost a teenager), relayed information to the postmaster as to which of my body parts had hair on them!
Oh, my, Trina. Wow.
ReplyDeleteZimms, you now have more children than hands. Congrats LOL!
Tammy, I think their comments are funny but won't hold them a job very well... :p
Harry, I'm going to *guess* everyone didn't raise their hands and that people could figure out something was "up" with the child. Maybe.
Luke, this is all THANKS to the curriculum youse guys sold me LOL!!!