HOW does coal generate electricity? Old Mom here looked it up in the "wicky-wacky-pedia" as he calls it. Here's the answer. First, write in the comment section that you understand this answer. Second, explain it back to me so that a seven and eight-year old would be able to be satisfied with that answer without asking any more questions. I just read parts of the highlighted passage to Elf and when he had questions I'd go, "I just read you the answer! See? It's in English, too!" and watch the confused look on his face. That was a lot of fun, but he got so frustrated that I eventually had to admit to him that I didn't understand it, either.
I just hate not having an answer that is understandable. On a recent oral test, Emperor said, "God, in His wisdom, hath ordained it to be so," after a question asking for a "why" detail. I'm looking for something a little more specific...? And wow, "hath ordained?" Where does he get that stuff? Because I don't talk that way.
Emperor loves to mix up his science and theology. He says things like, SCIENTIFICALLY, if God is all-powerful, he cannot make a rock so big he's unable to move it. Because SCIENTIFICALLY, if he can do everything, God would be able to move whatever He makes. (He's so cute!)
God CAN make a rock that He cannot move, Elf declares. And furthermore, it doesn't have to be a big rock. It could be a tiny pebble.
Not following you there, Elf.
Well, he says, all God would have to do is make a tiny pebble and then say, "I will not move this rock!" and then He wouldn't be able to do it. It is impossible for Him to lie and go against His word. Then the rock would stay there forever.
Hm. I'm wondering what his answer to the "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin" would be, but he has evaded me with the question of, how many does God WANT to dance on the head of a pin... and that would be your answer.
Now, how am I ever going to have a good argument with someone like that? You just can't even have a discussion with someone who keeps setting the parameters of the chat all wonky.
Elf has many questions about things that need to be answered, but much as he enjoys science experiments, he likes chatting even more. Elf wants to know WHYYYY the sun burns even though there is no oxygen in space. He has me there, you know, but I don't want to admit it! I mean, I just got done a few days before that admitting I didn't know how coal made electricity.
I told him that he had discovered the secret to the universe by asking the question he did. I told him that it's impossible for the sun to burn with no oxygen. He's right! Now, he realizes that all his existence is nothing but someone's imagination. We aren't REALLY here, you know, Elf. We're just something God imagines. Now that you know that it's impossible for the sun to burn with no oxygen, you know that YOU are impossible to be real, as well.
Oh, goody! And the explanation worked!!! Some little kid got pretty worried there. It's been about a month and a half since that little discussion and sometimes *still,* Elf will ask whether he is real. I have had to admit (AGAIN and again) that I was just playing around with him because I didn't have a good answer about the sun burning. Now I've traumatized my kid. Fiiine. I have to go back and say, "Elf! It was a joke, ok? And you fell for it."
I guess I have to go look up more stuff online and try to figure out some easier explanation for everything that's gonna work for them. I probably shouldn't mess with their little brains *just* because I don't know the answers to their questions. My dad did that with me a lot, and now I have to live in Missouri because if I get too close to the coast, I'm afraid I'll fall off the edge of the world.
But I might just have the children do a research project on the tree octopus, just to see what their thoughts would be on the subject. Bwa ha haaa.