Soapbox time again.
I've noticed on my sitemeter that someone popped by from Tennessee under the search words "can being locked in a closet cause behavior problems." (My heart sank into my stomach when I read that. Did you know I show up number two on that Google search?) Later, I received a comment from a distraught mother relating that HER autistic son was being locked up in a closet at school in Tennessee.
May God bless her as she figures out what she needs to do long-term.
I've left Erica a comment indicating some websites she can visit. I was tempted to overload her with about 20, but I left two. Sometimes when you're going through things, it's hard to even think straight. I know when I was going through things with Elf, it was somewhere between difficult and impossible to even function.
Erica relates that she is now homeschooling, but doesn't seem to feel very happy about it. She feels it's unfair. I'm so hearing you on this, Erica. I know you are going to get *so* much out of spending that time learning with your child, but I'm hearing you. It ISN'T fair. It ISN'T what you signed up for. Hard enough that your child has all these problems, but others are abandoning you just when you feel you could use some help. These experts, who are supposed to have these proven methods to make things better, are abusive and make things even worse.
I hear you. I really do.
But I would submit to you and my readers out there that a mediocre-to-crummy education, given with love, is going to produce a far better citizen than a good-to-great education doled out with abuse. Children growing up without acceptance of their disability ARE going to have behaviour problems. It doesn't have to be. You love your son and are investing all this time and energy into his life right now. It isn't for nothing. I believe in healing. Oh, no, I'm not excusing what the school did. At all. But I believe in healing.
I also believe in God and prayer, and that He can work miracles. Though as a mom of three autistic kiddos, I can tell you straight-up that they aren't always the miracles you're praying for.
Would you like to pop over to Erica's, or do you have some advice you'd like to offer here? I have a feeling she will be back to look from time to time as I will go back shortly and leave a link to this post on her blog. Thanks!
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
You know every time I read one of your posts on this topic I shake my head. All the UN stuff about the rights of the child & how spanking is abuse but somehow it's ok for teachers to lock kids in cupboards? Man, I so don't get it. It's great you can be an advocate against such abuse.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading reports like this I don't even know what to say. I'd like to make some clever comment on the subject, but all I can think of is that these people should not be allowed to work with children . . . or with any people at all.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your thoughts on education! I somehow get "locked in closet" searches too... Only it's from a SiLLiNeSS! in which I shared my boys begged me to do so for just a second. I declined, telling them that people get in LOTSA trouble for doing such things! LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
ReplyDeleteJust appaling.
ReplyDeleteI haven't BTDT in your case either, Mrs. C, but your site is so inspirational somehow to me.
ReplyDeleteHow weird that you come up on locked in closet searches. I don't know how all that works. I don't believe I ever come up. I've tried several searches and I am invisible. That's how I would have planned mine though, had I known how to do so!
LOL Ganeida, our "cupboards" are kitchen cabinets LOL! It would have to be a very small child to be locked in that, indeed.
ReplyDeleteHarry, unfortunately there are entire school DISTRICTS that should not be allowed to have children. I do not excuse the bad teachers, but I will allow that part of that behaviour is the result of the school "culture." Those are my tax dollars, too, so forgive me when I go on an anti-public school rant every now and then. I'm certainly *not* looking at school with rose-coloured glasses on. :]
Sandi, I have had boys ask me to light gas on fire and all kinds of craziness, too, so I know just what you mean. I'm a party pooper, too.
Lisa, I agree! I am comforted knowing I'm not alone/ crazy... but then I'm sickened by this thought. I'm not alone. And it's really happening to a lot of children out there, but the parents know the children have handicaps and feel they NEED the school, or are ashamed of the behaviour that LED to the locking.
Anya, it may be that you set up your blog so that it IS invisible. When you first set it up, it asks you a series of questions and you may have answered that you don't want your blog "crawled" on by google?
Every time you post about this, my stomach sinks, I feel ill and I feel like crying.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea if this happens here in NZ. I certainly haven't heard about it.
I had considered homeschooling before any diagnosis. But I get you. Sometimes when I think, Should I put them into mainstream, I just know it would undo all the work I have done.
BTW, don't underestimate yourself. I am sure you are doing more than a mediocre job.
I've been thinking about this ever since I read it early this morning.
ReplyDeleteI admire your passionate crusade against this type of child torture.
Who on earth came up with the idea that the way you "discipline" a child with special needs is to lock them up in a closet??? Who, really??? It's disgusting.
I also love your point about answers to prayer not always being exactly what we envisioned. A lot of wisdom in that thought.
I thought of you today when I saw the top story on CNN's front page!
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I love reading crime stories and always going to that section first. Couldn't read this article though. It was all too real, I hate knowing that this happens all the time.