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Life With Patrick.

Outrageous things fly out of his mouth on a regular basis. My favourite was his decision not to homeschool... he said he LIKED having his curriculum chosen for him by the government, and fed to him in small little spoonfuls. It keeps him from thinking too hard. Yeah, that was pretty much how he told me he didn't want to homeschool after I checked out the "Teenage Liberation Handbook," told the kid he could free his mind and decide what HE wanted to study, and escape the system, maaaan. Well, I tried. :]

The thing about Patrick is that you never know if he's being serious. You're pretty sure he's just toying with you. Most infuriating is when he does things like calling his maraca "Mr. Mexican Dude." I flip out about it and say one of these days he's going to get his butt kicked, saying stuff like that. Worse, he asks me to justify why I'm upset about it. And he says its racist of me to say things like he'd get his butt kicked for saying things about "Mr. Mexican Dude." Am I implying that the Mexicans are gonna kick his butt for naming his maraca that?

Siiiiigh. Then you have to go through the I knooooow you don't mean anything racial by it, but you have to be careful what you say because some people wouldn't get that you're just talking about the fact that maracas are Mexican, and he's a dude, etc. etc. And you wonder if the whole lecture you've just given him was entertaining when he pushes the line the next time.

There's always a next time! Today, he was blathering on about how he's going to go downtown tomorrow. Not downtown "ourtown," but Kansas City. (Since he has no car, I'm thinking... yeah, right.)

And he'll make it there in one day. Oh, but he's not taking the highway. He's going to run most of the way (let's just say it's at least 15 miles, ok?). He'll go through people's yards. (He sees he still hasn't gotten a reaction except mmm-hmmm.) He'll be eating other people's crops and entire cows on the way there... (and I'm going, mmm-hmmm) Just taking stuff randomly and pillaging... mostly horses and chickens... And he'll be back by 3 p.m.

Siiiiigh.

Comments

  1. Hmm, sounds like a teenager to me. What used to make me the angriest about the arguments I had with my son as a teenager was the realization that he was exactly as I was at that age. I was arguing with myself for doing the same stupid things I did as a teenager.

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  2. Arg... I just did the "dress weird and sneer" kind of rebellion. So much more straightforward!

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  3. Patrick has read this post and corrected me. He will walk to Kansas City tomorrow at exactly 10:13 a.m.

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  4. Will he have to pack his own lunch?

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  5. Ooo, sore point. Patrick doesn't get to go to summer school tomorrow because he left me waiting 20 minutes in the heat with the infants in the car. It gets too hot in those stuffy car seats (rear-facing, padded and complete with pull-down lap bar for extra heat/ protection) for the children after a while.

    He's had two warnings for this behaviour before. Now he can't go tomorrow. To me, it's a safety issue for the small kids, but it's hard to see him have to stay home tomorrow. :[

    If he does go to Kansas City, he's going to have to do it from the living room because I intend to have him watch the little ones in the morning while I homeschool Elf and Emperor. Poor guy. But I had to draw that line, you know?

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  6. LOL This is just funny to me:) But then, I don't have a teenager yet. He sounds like he has a great imagination though.

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  7. Uh~huh. Try Ditz. Contrary Mary Extraordinaire. *Nothing* & I do mean *nothing* suites madam these days. Touch her & she's threatening legal action, don't & she's the most unloved child on the planet. At least she can't be accused of a lukewarm response. ;)

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  8. I like your Patrick, he sounds like a nice, normal teenager to me, and there is NOTHING WRONG with that!

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  9. MyKidsMom, I'm glad someone finds humour in it. I keep thinking I'm the only one going through it. Thankfully, no outright drugs/sex etc. rebellion. Or nose piercing.

    Ganeida, what you are describing sounds suspiciously like female hormones. No envy here. My son is pretty consistently odd. :]

    Chris, I have to agree that Patrick is a pretty great guy most of the time. But he can be very annoying. He gives good advice sometimes, but it's rather unwelcome as it concerns my parenting and he sees the worst of it LOL.

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  10. [because she's all sassy like that]

    Hmmm... I bet I can guess where she picked up that trait! ;O)

    I think she is cute!

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