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OH, NO!! What to do???

Emperor swallowed his tooth at dinnertime! I'm freaking out and calling our insurance nurseline. Eeeek! And she's asking all kinds of questions. Emperor keeps interjecting that I *must* tell her that his tooth didn't taste very good.

Is he coughing?

Can he breathe?

Well, *I* can't very well. I feel like my heart is in my stomach. The recommendation of the nurse? EVERY POOP must be smashed up and passed through a screen for the next three days. If it isn't "out" by then, he needs to see a doctor.

This kid is nearly 5 feet tall. Think his poops will be little and cute like my 2-year-old's? Um, and even my two-year-old's poo can be ... unpleasant at times. But, I think, without getting too detailed, that it would be "malleable" within the diaper to the point that I would feel a tooth.

So now we have an ice cream bucket upstairs. But no screen! I have a couple plastic forks and knives from Wendy's meals of long ago. Should I give the children homeschool science credit for going through the poo? But what if they miss the tooth? Eeeeeew, **I** don't want to have to go through poo.

I think I'm going to retch.

Then again, what if his tooth gets stuck in his intestines? That would be a way worse thing than my going "eeeeew" over some poopie. Silly mom.

Maybe they can throw the poo in the backyard, put their shoes on and STOMP. Then hose off shoes. But we're poor folks and my boys have only one pair of shoes.

Barefoot poo-stomping?

Hm. Please tell me there are more reasonable ideas out there. Eeeew.

Comments

  1. Can you use water? Put poop on something like a driveway or concrete patio, or else a plastic tarp on grass, and gently hose.

    This will probably make for a great story when it is all done :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Get some old fly screen wire and hold it in place over the toilet, put poop on top and pour water over poop to dissolve.
    The poop stomping idea....will never take off like the pinata idea ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The tooth is far too small to do any damage on it's way through Emperor's body!!!
    Stop panic'ing!!!
    And FORGET going through the poo, it is soooo not necessary!
    Go find a spare tooth somewhere and pretend to find it under the table! At least then the tooth fairy can still visit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. When I was little, my family took me to the movie theatre and while I was eating popcorn I swallowed my tooth. I told my mom and dad and we just all laughed about it. I'm sure it just passed on it's own. Was never a problem. I think your son will be fine. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I say just forget about it. My kids have swallowed several different things I have never had any trouble.
    DON'T do the poo thing!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my goodness, this post is just too funny! LOL SO sorry, I should be much more sympathetic:(

    I think the last two comments are probably right that it will pass through just fine. I know kids that have swallowed popcorn kernels, gumballs... and even coins (though the latter is NOT recommended). I would probably just watch for any abdomen pain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What?!! Oh my goodness! I am shocked at that nurse's advice. So many kids have swallowed teeth, including my own, and I have never, ever heard of anything like searching through poop to find it! I agree with those who said let it pass (so to speak, ahem). I hope it all comes out alright in the end (sorry, I couldn't resist).

    ReplyDelete
  8. feed him plenty of veggies and less meat so it's easier to go through. i'm not envying you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thousands of kids have swallowed their teeth. There will be no problem I can assure you. By now you probably know that is true!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Wimps need not apply!

    ReplyDelete

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