I'm running in circles trying to teach the same stuff over and over.
What is the opposite of "shorten?" Emperor says it's "grown." It couldn't be "lengthen" as MOM suggested because, Mom, don't you know that "length" is just telling us how LONG something is? It's measuring something when you do that!
Silly Mom. I wonder when we're going to grow out of this phase. Emperor thought "thinked" was the past tense of "think," too. Thankfully, Elf corrected him by telling him nooo, it's "thunk." Emperor got his paper out to transcribe this bit of information.
Arg! No, stop that... Though in the old days, they'd have said something like, "thinkdid-ed-did." Really. I should be glad for small improvements.
Or we're talking about classifying plants. The teacher's book instructs me to chat with the children about classifying books as an example. So. "Where would you find a book about history?" is supposed to lead us into how scientists classify plants by shape, colour, stems or lack thereof, etc. because we'll talk about how all the history books go together, the science books go together...
Our world is an ordered place.
Instead, I get a small Elf telling me that George Westinghouse used science to change history, and he thinks the science and history books ought be together. That really, when you think about it, in his opinion there is no difference between science and history.
Well, I suppose you could have... well... you're ruining my analogy, kid. Scientists just like to group stuff, ok? Like... they like to group stuff in terms of PLANTS or ANIMALS. And they put living stuff into one of those two groups.
"But there's a third group!" interjects Elf. "People!"
"Nope. You're an animal. Now ---"
"I am NOT AN ANIMAL!" Elf folds his arms. "I object to that. People are not animals. They should not be treated like animals!"
(Oh, boy... Yep, Elf went on and on here for a bit. Those scientists are ungodly for even *thinking* of classifying him as anything but a person in his own special group, etc. etc. My, but he had a few things to say, but concluded with...)
"I want to find this scientist that says that and hit him on the head with a baseball bat!"
Linnaeus? Yeah. Good luck with that. But is that a nice Christian way to act? Especially if the Christian in question is really, really short and tiny and has trouble lifting the bat in the first place?
"Um... I guess not. Nevermind."
And so ends our science lesson for today. Next up is history, in which we learn that it's ok to solve our "some states are seceding from the Union" problem with lots of violence and bloodshed. It looks like things are going to go pretty badly for the South in this fight. We've looked at the "who has the factories, people and railroads graph" and kinda predicted that probably the North is going to win. Emperor says that he just KNOWS the North is going to win, because G mentioned it once and he heard it at the Jesse James Museum.
"Then do the Romans happen, Mom? What year was that?"