27 July 2009

Losing Lotsa Weight...

...is not what I'm doing right now. I can personally assure you that all those fat ladies you see buying ice cream in the local Hy-Vee are aware that they have more than a few pounds extra. One in particular was putting the ice cream bucket in her cart for her older children, not herself.

*ahem*

Dear local teens, God has not appointed you to be the Fat Awareness Fairies. Usually I don't speak on God's behalf, but I'm pretty assured that this is the case because fairies aren't biblical. So quit it.

Dear God, please bless these snarky teens with lots of good food and very thin friends. Help them learn about accepting "constructive criticism" on an hourly basis. May their husbands be ever-helpful and a constant source of advice on weight loss. May their children's friends verbally notice how amply You have blessed them, and let it be a testimony to the biblical idea that the bird gets caught in its own net. Amen.

Ahhhh. That "praying for your enemies" thing is a good idea sometimes.

Still, I like the old-fashioned "God, smite 'em" prayers a bit better, but this will have to do for now. Some aspects of New Testament living kinda stink, because you have to bless your enemies during prayer no matter how you feel for God to hear it or something. (It's a biblical mandate, or something.) And that's pretty hard to do sometimes, but I think I'm starting to get good at it. Well, my good deed is done for the day.

Onward!

So, while I was at Hy-Vee (thankfully BEFORE heading down the ice cream aisle?), I bought about six pounds of grapes and some sandwich meat and bread. I've gained back 20 pounds of the 50 I had lost. My BMI is something close to 100, so something needs to be done. The only thing is, I can't seem to "eat less" or "exercise more."

There has to be a solution there somewhere. Perhaps if I ate more "good" foods, I wouldn't have to exercise. Isn't it strange that "good" foods taste crummy? Well, unless you pour half a bottle of salad dressing and a side of bacon on top of your lettuce, it just isn't very appetizing. Carrots? Well, my teeth are crummy. I can only eat them boiled. You can't have carrots boiled without lots of butter on them! It's unnatural.

While I was at the grocery store, I also picked up this bottle of salad dressing. "New Delicious Taste!" it proclaimed. That's good, because I'm so, so tired of the "Old Nasty Taste!" most salad dressings have. We'll see if there is truth in advertizing later. God bless ya! Just not as richly as I prayed for these teens, ok? :]

16 comments:

  1. hehehe! Love the prayer.

    That is about how I feel when I eat another smores.

    My friend's husband is a football coach and says that diet is 80% of the battle. I have to agree. They also say real food starts to taste better after you have cleared all the toxins from your body. I haven't noticed that yet. I just grin and choke it down.

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  2. Oh goodness girl, you're BMI cant possibly be around 100 pounds. Be nice to yourself. :) Remember BMI is a percentage not pounds to lose.

    And ya gotta love a prayer like this! I could have prayed it myself!

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  3. When you figure out the secret to loose the weight ....please please let me know. I still have an extra 30 pds. left of baby fat. She is now five....ugg.
    Lori

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  4. Haha :) I pick up the ice cream for my kids as well. Of course, they wonder where it goes in the middle of the night while they're sleeping. Must be ice-cream eating fairies..;)

    I'm trying to lose a few pounds myself. But I'm hungry all the time lately. Truly hungry. So even though I eat (mostly) good-for-you foods, I don't seem to be losing any weight. I'd love to find an appetite suppressant that's cheap, but actually works. Hmmm... the only thing that works like that for me is a good case of the flu. Think I'll pass on that.

    Good luck on the weight loss! :)

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  5. My wife has been fighting that same battle ever since we've met. I'm sure genetics has something to do with it. Good luck and you can thank me for not giving any advice on the subject.

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  6. I've been sick for a week & that middle age poundage hasn't shifted a skerrick. I am of the opinion I could stop eating all together & it would still remain. Sometimes being alive sucks. Thank you for praying that prayer on my behalf. I feel much better now. ☺

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  7. Yea, I will be happy when my BMI is lower than my age--my true age, not the one I wish I was.

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  8. I'll vouch for the diet part. I had about 30 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight...I started reading more and attempting to exercise, but the exercise dropped off due to lack of time, but my diet changes stuck. I cut out all the processed stuff, got back to basics, eating naturally- like eating carrots with butter is fine, with margarine or lowfat/oil added spread is NOT fine. Cut out all corn syrup, all oils other than peanut, coconut and olive...stuff like that. My point being that I dropped 25 lbs in less than 6 months without trying (exercise and 'dieting') and just making life changes to my diet.

    Anyway- here's the site I did a lot of reading from
    http://kellythekitchenkop.com/

    Good luck!

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  9. Zimms, I keep losing 100% of the battle! If I could just "win" 10% of the time, I might be encouraged to do 20% the next week... ever get there? :[

    Mrs. D, there may have been a slight exaggeration, but we'll just say I'm the same weight I was when I was nine months pregnant with Woodjie and leave it at that...

    Lori, I have to admit to being jealous of only 30 to go LOL! Siiigh.

    Mkm, I think we have one of those fairies in our freezer, too, but I haven't caught her yet.

    Now Harry, your wife battled this, but only since you've met? Maybe you're encouraging poor eating habits? :p

    Ganeida, you're welcome on the prayer!

    Bonnie (((hug))) I know you know what I mean.

    Thanks for the link, Sadie! I have heard similar stories from others.

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  10. Feel you on this !!!! And um, since when did running around after 6 children not be considered exercise?

    I have PCOS and this is a HUGE battle for me. The only time I lost weight EVER after a pregnancy, was WGO. Then when I went on antidepressants, it all came running back to my thighs and backside with arms open wide !!!!

    Am currently trying something new that worked for my girlfriend that is the total opposite of what my endocronolist and dietician said, but hey, I am desparate.

    Hang in there !!!!

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  11. yo-yo weight is worse for you than eating healthier and maintaining whatever weight you're at

    plus - God loves ya no matter what size you are - it's one of the few things I am sure of

    teens are just all over the place because they have no idea where they fit in the larger scheme of things - pay little attention

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  12. LOL, Nikki, I wish I got the kind of exercise I did on a regular basis when I had "only" four children. THings were a bit simpler, and I wasn't homeschooling and my younger children were in preschool for a few hours three days a week. Not an excuse, but makes it easier :]

    Dianne, thank you. I'm sure you're right.

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  13. In the good old days, we could eat all we want without gaining weight. I wish I could still do that. I'm tired of buying bigger pants every couple of years.

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  14. Oh Mrs C, I hear you. It is so hard to lose weight. It is that dreaded 'E' word it needs to be done *sigh* I loved your prayer hehehe

    cheers Kim

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  15. OHhh, now I want a salad with ranch on it. You know what? In fact I'm making a McDonalds run right now. Thanks a lot! I bet when I weigh in at the ob's on Thursday, I'll have gained 5bls in one week.

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  16. LOL DF, we were grateful not to starve with some of the stuff we had to eat !

    Thx, Kim!

    Virginia, you could stand to gain a pound or five for the next few months. :]

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