...is not what I'm doing right now. I can personally assure you that all those fat ladies you see buying ice cream in the local Hy-Vee are aware that they have more than a few pounds extra. One in particular was putting the ice cream bucket in her cart for her older children, not herself.
Dear local teens, God has not appointed you to be the Fat Awareness Fairies. Usually I don't speak on God's behalf, but I'm pretty assured that this is the case because fairies aren't biblical. So quit it.
Dear God, please bless these snarky teens with lots of good food and very thin friends. Help them learn about accepting "constructive criticism" on an hourly basis. May their husbands be ever-helpful and a constant source of advice on weight loss. May their children's friends verbally notice how amply You have blessed them, and let it be a testimony to the biblical idea that the bird gets caught in its own net. Amen.
Ahhhh. That "praying for your enemies" thing is a good idea sometimes.
Still, I like the old-fashioned "God, smite 'em" prayers a bit better, but this will have to do for now. Some aspects of New Testament living kinda stink, because you have to bless your enemies during prayer no matter how you feel for God to hear it or something. (It's a biblical mandate, or something.) And that's pretty hard to do sometimes, but I think I'm starting to get good at it. Well, my good deed is done for the day.
So, while I was at Hy-Vee (thankfully BEFORE heading down the ice cream aisle?), I bought about six pounds of grapes and some sandwich meat and bread. I've gained back 20 pounds of the 50 I had lost. My BMI is something close to 100, so something needs to be done. The only thing is, I can't seem to "eat less" or "exercise more."
There has to be a solution there somewhere. Perhaps if I ate more "good" foods, I wouldn't have to exercise. Isn't it strange that "good" foods taste crummy? Well, unless you pour half a bottle of salad dressing and a side of bacon on top of your lettuce, it just isn't very appetizing. Carrots? Well, my teeth are crummy. I can only eat them boiled. You can't have carrots boiled without lots of butter on them! It's unnatural.
While I was at the grocery store, I also picked up this bottle of salad dressing. "New Delicious Taste!" it proclaimed. That's good, because I'm so, so tired of the "Old Nasty Taste!" most salad dressings have. We'll see if there is truth in advertizing later. God bless ya! Just not as richly as I prayed for these teens, ok? :]