I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?"he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
He said, "Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
That is hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI would have been pushed off the bridge after the first question "Are you Religious or Atheist?".
OMGosh, haha! I've never seen Catholics as Christians though. The history is from a whole different area way far from Christianity! LOL. It was hilarious though. I do think there are just so many avenues of religions. Whatever doesn't line up with the bible makes it easy to decide. :D
ReplyDeleteLOL! I would have been thrown off quite a bit sooner as well!
ReplyDeleteUm... I would like to know what Catholics are supposed to be if they are not Christians! Maybe we should pull out the history books.
I dunno, Chris. I think he'd have been morally obligated to give you a good sermon about hellfire and stuff right then... which might send you over the edge anyway LOL...
ReplyDeleteVirginia, sometimes I feel the same way about the Catholic Church organization, particularly the high-ups and in light of the centuries of cover-ups, worship of saints, ex cathedra beliefs, etc.
Then I think of some of the crap the Protestant churches get up to and I'm thinking God will have some interesting things to say to all of us on Judgment Day. :)
Sue, I'm thinking I'd have been creeped out by the guy asking me if I were religious in the first place. Is he trying to score points/ make a convert, or is he just reallly weird? I know people like that though... they'll SAY it's only Jesus this or that but then they'll go on and on about "church history," and they're only talking about OUR denomination which is um, about a hundred years old. Guess everybody but your speaking-in-tongues Gramma was unsaved back in the day, I wanna tell them...
But I am polite. I try to be good. I really try. :)
[laughing] That's funny. In a terrible kind of way [smile].
ReplyDelete~Luke
LOL obviously a cut and paste job on my part. A facebook friend was talking about "You know you're a Baptist when..." and this popped up in the comments, so I thought I'd share. :)
ReplyDelete