G and his friend Q have been hanging out this summer. Q, as you remember, is a rather interesting sort. Let's just say I finally figured out that much of his problem is that he doesn't take social cues very well. I look back over his past behaviour and I don't think it's a parent thing at all... it's a Q thing.
Yeah, here I am with all these different kids, and I just now realized that.
Ok, I didn't. Actually, *G* had to clue me in to the fact that Mom, he just doesn't understand a "hint." You have to tell him. And that's true. Once you just flat out TELL him, he's ok... no beating around the bush or trying to be "polite." No trying to drop the subtle hints. It's rude to just TELL someone they need to go home. But that's what I have to do so that I don't wind up getting mad at him and he doesn't wonder why he isn't invited over. Q is still a friendly lad despite this blunt approach. In fact, I think he appreciates it.
I can't say that G could ever ask for a better friend, but both Q and G would do well to take a social skills class or three. Q calls six times in five minutes. He shows up at the door. He comes by after G has hung out at his house because (I guess...) G can't make the two blocks alone. Then Q wants to hang out, both of them all sweaty and smelly, in my house.
Arg.
Not to be mean, but I told G to be home at 4 so he could get a shower and dinner would be ready by 5. I don't begrudge the kid a drink of water when he comes by... but... I kept saying that I was making dinner now. (I thought that was direct enough; guess not). I FINALLY had to get sorta rude with Q and say (in a friendly tone), "Well, it's time for me to kick you out, buddy!" And he was ok with that. "Ok, see you later, Mrs. C! Call you later, G!"
And soon I'm going to have to say, "Q. You are just calling too much. Two calls per hour, barring emergency, okayyyy?"
They are best friends. And my, does Q love to talk. A lot. He also has several funny stories about the newest craze.
Hopefully you humour me after my little post yesterday... but the latest craze is for young ladies to lift their shirts and show their boobage to young men. Really fast, lift the shirt, put it down again. You wouldn't notice if you weren't looking.
I don't get it, Q. What would the inner motivation be here? Do they expect the young men to suddenly ask the fair damsel's hand in marriage, or what?? Is this a request for a date? Are you boyfriend/girfriend officially after that happens? Don't get it.
Q turned about as red as his hair. (Well... I don't think that's it, exactly... he told me. But he went no further.) And from his chatter I gleaned that this has happened on several occasions to G. When interrogated, G neglected to mention it because why should I know this? I would just get upset. And a girl flashed him during YEARBOOK signing time at school? You didn't tell a teacher about this right away? (I got an eyeroll from that... he's pretty cool under questioning.)
Whyyy did this happen to my little kid? Was this her way of wishing him a good summer? Ok, I still don't get it, and the more I declare this, the funnier the guys seem to think my puzzlement to be.
So I asked D about it and he said no, no one is going about boobflashing him. "What? No, I'm an old guy. Why would they do that to me?"
Mental note: must be young, eligible male. Hmm... So I called Patrick up to ask him and he replied, "WHAT? I missed it?"
I'm sure he doesn't mean that. Please say he didn't mean that.
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
I don't even know what to say to that. But I just wanted to thank you for the giggle. Good to know that D isn't getting flashed. ;-)
ReplyDeleteDude. These teenager stories are killing me.
ReplyDeleteI would certainly be upset if some little trollop was flashing my son.
But that the GIRL would do that is even more upsetting! What are we doing to our girls in this society? Training them that they have no value except their bodies? That objectifying themselves until total strangers get all worked up and drooly-y is somehow empowering, rather than degrading?
Honestly. I can't even go shopping in the TODDLER department for my daughter without buying clothes two sizes bigger than her brother's hand-me-downs because they are all too short and tight and mini-hoochie.
It makes me sad, frankly.
I can't even imagine a girl having so little self~respect. Why would you do that? What happened to modesty?
ReplyDeleteOK, this makes me glad that I live in Japan where there is far less "boobage" to flash, in general. Although the rapidly growing plastic surgery industry is starting to change that a bit.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Mrs. C. Totally do not get it. As if flashing their cleavage all over the place with their low cut shirts wasn't enough? Grrrr!
Deb is right - very sad, indeed.
Lol at Patrick's response..
ReplyDeletehmmm.. that is what they are doing. when you said the latest craze I really thought you were going to say Silly Bandz.. lol..
Have you seen these things? Shaped rubber bands that kids wear as bracelets. kids love them and there is no age limit. I have seen everyone from grandmas to toddlers with them
but back to your post.. WOW girls are just flashing guys now.. I know I have been out of school for a while now but that never happened back when I was in high school..
on another note. G sounds lucky to found a friend he can relate to. Wish my brother would have found a friend like that back when he was younger. he does'nt have autism but he is severe ADHD and really would do anything someone told him to do to be friends with that person.ho usually just took advantage of him. Seems like Q and G are on the same page and that's important in a kids life. Glad you figured out how to handle Q tho makes it a bit easier on you when he is over! :)
I laughed at your description of Q.. he sounds like the (hehehe.. wait for it---->) Quintessntial Aspie to me. Now I know that you know all obout autism spectrum stuff, but I hope you'll humor me while I share a few thoughts;-) My oldest daughter has Asperger's and she is just like Q. One must be extremely direct in speaking to her. Ways of communication that would seem harsh or rude to a typical kid are precisely what she needs for clear communication. For example I've been known to say before heading out for church, "You need to go back and brush your teeth. They are dirty; I can see food between them. People will be grossed out and your breath will smell bad. They won't want to talk to you and they will think less of you." Sounds like overkill, but hey it's what she needs to understand what she needs to do and why. It's not insulting; it's a kindness. Really it is.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to be very clear with Q... say something like, "Hey kiddo, you're a great kid and I'm so glad we're all friends, but we need our family time too. How 'bout we limit your phone calls to 3/day between the hours of 9am-9pm. You're welcome here any weekday after lunch and you can stay for one meal/day. Any questions?" A lot of kids with Asperger's push the limits of other folks endurance until they kinda blow. The person has been given hints and suggestions all along, but they just go right over the Aspie's head, and the explosion seems completely and utterly out of the blue. They really do appreciate the effort to help them understand where they are crossing the lines of appropriateness.
And that flashing thing? We overheard the neighbor girl when she was on the porch with a couple of her "friends"... they were offering her Doritos to expose herself. And she was laughing... it's all just so terribly sad:-(