05 August 2010

Social Skills Practice

Poor ol' Emperor.  He got into big trouble at church on Wednesday and the pastor's wife had to bring him out of the children's area and in with the adults near the back.  When I got a chance to talk to him, he was very upset.  He was making noises, he said, but no one ever asked him to stop.  They just suddenly sent him out of the room and he doesn't know why they're so mad all of a sudden.

Hmm... Now...  I'm not going to call my autistic child a liar like some people just might.  Instead of assuming ill motive, I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and do a little investigating if I can.  There are enough people -even well-meaning ones at that- who can totally misconstrue a situation.  (I wonder what the real truth is behind this post?  Another matter... but I wonder what the other family would blog. I didn't comment because the post struck me as one of those "I shouldn't have to give a 'free pass' to those autistic brats and the world is neurotypical so deal with it" kinds of posts... and usually this poster is pretty level-headed.  Arg.) 

I will say, though, that I doubt that Emperor wasn't asked to stop the noises.  I like this teacher.  I don't think she'd suddenly kick him out with NO warning.  She doesn't cackle with evil glee at upsetting eight-year-olds, at least so far as I'm aware.  But I'm just going to say I doubt he THINKS he was asked to stop the noises.  See the difference?  On to play detective.  What *exactly* did the teacher say?


"She said that, 'We're waiting for the noise to stop!'... like that," he told me. 

So... you thought she was ok with your making noise?  (Fer real??)

"Yeah, she SAID she was WAITING," he said, exasperated.  "She never TOLD ME to stop!  She just kept saying she was waiting."

Ohhhh... she'd have had to wait a mighty long time if she thought she'd hang out until he *felt* like he was all done with the silly sounds.  The teacher's story, obviously, is that she told him several times to stop.  I let her know that Emperor didn't see it that way because he's so stinkin' literal.  Just tell him straight up to quit it.  Sometimes, trying to be polite means that Emperor will misunderstand you.  I'm sorry that this happened... etc. etc.

You know the routine if you've been a parent - of any sort of kid (pick one) -  long enough.  You feel sorry for the child, the teacher, yourself and the other students.  Probably in that order.


  1. Oh, yeah, we know that dance upsidedown and backwards lol.
    Gotta be blunt!

  2. That is why we work on understanding declarative language and subtle hints. Just now, Pamela was blocking Steve's view of the television. "Pamela, I can't see." She moved. Three years ago, she would have just stood there!

  3. But I'm not a good dancer, Ro. The teacher understood, though. Thankfully.

    And Tammy... we get a lot of that sort of thing here. Another one is, "You're bothering me," or, "You're being obnoxious."

  4. lol I symmpathise, really I do, but I own the child who once sat on a pile of rocks to *hatch* them. Ummmm...OK.

  5. Communication can be so hard. I'm glad you were able to get to the bottom of it and help the teacher. I hope parents come help me understand the situation if I ever miss something about their kid in class.


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