01 January 2011

A Safe Medical Choice

One in three women in the US will have an abortion at some time in their lives, the host tells us. There is no way to talk about this and please everyone. But it's safe and valid choice, this medical procedure, and one that should be talked about.

Video from the same people who brought you 16 and Pregnant. On the phone, a clinician lets us know that there are medications that can be taken to expel the pregnancy, or one can go with the "gentle extraction" route.

Other highlights: These parents are extremely bright. They already have a baby and continue to be sexually active. They don't want another baby, but they don't bother to make it for their birth control shot, either. Sooo, they make a decision together based on what's best for "everyone," notably not including the unborn child's interest in the process. Brilliant. I mean, I know the teen mind doesn't always work well under the influence of hormones, but where were all the friends? Family? Other people telling them what they are about to do is murder?

We get to see video footage of brand-new baby clothes, new baby bouncers, some sort of new cell blackberry thing, new baby toys and the like as background while the mother chats about how she doesn't want her child to grow up without the things she *needs* to live. Adoption? Bah, she would LOVE this baby too much to give it up. Better just to surgically slice n dice the kid to bits and not get too attached in the first place.

After the abortion, the young lady's fella takes her out so they can talk. Frequently during these shows, they're able to plunk down money to eat at restaurants while they complain about being poor. Later they have some sort of birthday party for their daughter. The barely toddling baby is offered several outfit choices - still on their store hangers - to wear. She's given a bakery-made cake. There are probably several gold bars in the trunk of the car they're driving as well, but we don't get to see that part.

What we DO get to hear, however, later from another forum participant, is that it costs about $750 for "the procedure." She had to give up her prom ticket for it. Waah.

Ohh, well. Who are we to interfere in the parenting decisions of others? My decision to terminate WAS a parenting decision, one of the young ladies claims toward the end of the video. Put THAT one in your pipe and smoke it, HSLDA. Another said that she was able to skirt a parental notification law by strolling into court, but it got her mad that some judge would have to decide whether she could make her own decisions on this. As a mom, it pees me off royally that some judge can decide whether I'd even know that my CHILD was pregnant. Or was undergoing a SURGICAL procedure without my permission. A surgical procedure. Just nevermind the baby a second... is this somewhere we really want to go? Surgical procedures without parental consent?

I'm being snarky in this post, and probably way too judgmental. Maybe I am just masking the horror, the stomach-sinking horror, I felt watching this go on. Could you imagine being this big sister, and finding out years down the road that Mom and Dad killed your sibling so that you could have a "better" life?

Yes, I'm just horrified. Just horrified at the way this is presented as a normal and respectable choice. It's called a horrendous mistake. Yes, I've used "horror" and "horrendous" far too many times; and yes, we can love people despite their mistakes. God forgives mistakes. But God (to my knowledge; I'm not claiming to be His agent) doesn't set up talk shows where people can talk about teens and rights and sex in the same sentence, however.

Maybe you disagree. Maybe you think these young ladies should be commended for their choice. If that's the case, pop on over here and share your message of love. Positive comments only, because these ladies are heroes or something. "We need to make sure these brave young women feel our unconditional love and our support." Unconditional. Can you do that? I can't.

I wish them healing and understanding and all the help they need, but I just can't do that.

12 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. You know I disagree with you about abo.rtion, but that's beside the point. I don't think anyone should be commended for choosing to ab.ort - in my mind, it's a tough choice and I'd prefer to see less unwanted pregnancies and less abo.rtion. In a perfect world of course.

    I can't give unconditional support either, because while I am pro cho.ice, I'm not necessarily pro-abo.rtion. Maybe it just feels like in this case, it was the easy way out - of course I'm only judging from a small slice of the story.

    Also, they appear to have more money than we do and we're successfully and happily raising two children (and hoping for a third, one day), so to say the decision was financial, well. Odd, anyway.

    I dunno, to be honest, I support the right to choose, but sometimes, seeing ab.ortion used as birth control makes me a little sick. Prevention is better than cure, in my eyes.

    And really, I'm just sort of babbling. I know you'll get what I mean, even if you disagree with some of my points. Also, I added the . in words so that you don't land google searches from my comment, cos I noticed you didn't use the word (recommenting, missed a . in a word)

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  3. Oh! And also? 16 and pregnant made me so angry sometimes and I only saw bits on the web! You know I had Amy at 17 and I consider myself fairly intelligent and a good mother, so to see what they were like, it made me feel so angry.

    It also made me understand where some of the judginess I've been victim comes from, so maybe a good thing in that light.

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  4. I *entirely* get what you are saying. I think most pro-choice people will acknowledge that abortion is not a "good," but in some cases a lesser of two evils sort of choice.

    I don't believe that, but there are some people I highly respect who have thought it out and reasoned that women should not be forced to carry a baby to term. There are risks to bearing children, and medical consequences that can last a lifetime.

    Not too long ago, women frequently died after childbirth. I just can't, like you, unconditionally support this choice. I was sad and horrified at the whole spectacle... maybe I should not have watched it.

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  5. I'd say not watching it would have been the sensible option for you!

    I think most pro-choice people think that while it's not a good choice to make, it's better than no choice at all. Of course, there are people as radical on my side of the fence as there are on yours, who wouldn't listen to anyone daring to disagree with them. Which is sad too, I think we've all got a responsibility to listen to different view points respectfully and learn from them.

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  6. Oh, Veronica... I want to add...

    I saw some of 16 and Pregnant too. Sometimes these young couples undergo DRASTIC growing up periods. I was really impressed by Maci, because at first? She was riding an ATV at 9 months along. Then she got some common sense, yk?

    People are entirely too harsh sometimes, but the video on the abortion just made me want to cry.

    I had a best friend who aborted at 16. I remember showing her pictures of fetal development from my mom's nursing books. BUT I guess I wasn't mature enough to formulate a good argument, to rationalise anything well.

    It wouldn't have been "good" to have the baby at 16, but she was adopted herself. Not to give her baby that chance? But I wonder what happened, because here she is 40 and there are no children still. I wonder if she is ok, but don't know her well enough anymore to ask. :(

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  7. Awful. I am glad I did not see that. Just reading about it is heartbreaking.

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  8. Yeah, it really was. I kept looking at that little toddler, how beautiful she was, and wondering why no one spoke up for the little brother or sister.

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  9. What a sad and ignorant society we live in when it's rationalized to kill a baby because you can't buy them enough things they 'need'.

    I am pro-choice, if you are raped, or the child's life endangers yours....that's one thing. But to kill them just to save yourself down the road....uuugh. As a Mother who would give just about anything to be able to have more children, it hurts my heart to know there are people who kill them for no purpose that can be reckoned before Him.

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  10. It saddens me hearing about stories like these, especially when I think of my brother- and sister-in-law who have been trying for years to have a baby and are going to pay lots of money to try to have one of their own, and if that doesn't work they are going to look into adopting. But babies are gotten rid of everyday. How many empty armed parents could be filled?

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  11. Blondee, I don't know that I agree with abortion under any circumstances unless we're discussing a highly unusual "death to the mother is almost CERTAIN," but I can at least see where others are coming from on the rape issue. It isn't what's happening here; maybe I am looking at the laziness of the mom to get a shot and/or refraining from intercourse until birth control happens as astounding... and then to kill someone for HER mistake... just shocking.

    Erica, I sincerely hope things work out well for your brother and soon. Not knowing has to be very, very hard each month. The problem with the thinking on the video is that one would LOVE the child too much to give up, but it would have an awful life at home? Not sure that is true given the wealth obviously displayed, but suppose it were. I agree... it's such a waste of life. A few months of discomfort, and this young lady could have had this baby and given it a family and all the wealth it needed. And the couple adopting would be so, so thankful.

    Just sad. Is being pregnant that stinkin' hard?

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  12. Happy Elf Mom- Did you also notice that 'Daddy' had gold teeth in the video? No wonder they couldn't afford to buy the 'necessities' for another little life, he needs gold capped/gross teeth.

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)