17 May 2011

You Misunderstand.

Maybe you misunderstand on purpose.

When I decide that I want to send my child to school, or attend a certain church, it doesn't mean that I agree with EVERYTHING the pastor or teacher has to say. I might not even agree with EVERY nitpicky point of doctrine in the 20-page church charter. I get that past a certain point, it's time to leave, go find another church or school if you don't like how things are run, that kind of thing.

But, really. Leave church because I homeschool? And it's "cultish" of parents like me to not agree with this whole Sunday School/youth group fad? Cultish? Because I don't subdivide my family by some arbitrary state-imposed grade level during Sunday morning church? *I* am cultish? *I* am following some new theology? Um... apparently.

Let's see. Paul Wilkinson's blog goes off on Christian unity and all that stuff in other posts. Just not this one. I don't get it. And he let stand a comment that basically says that it isn't normal to homeschool and that the commenter can tell who the homeschoolers are because of their poor social skills... they're later unable to hold down jobs... Um. Sounds like autism to me. Ever try to deal with "normal" school when your kid is autistic? I ask you. I have an autistic child in public high school and his job prospects are... NOT GOOD. It isn't just a homeschool thing, dude.

Nevermind the weirdo comments a second. I was reading the post and thinking that the parents he's discussing are really just regular people who don't want other adults they don't know well overinvolved in their child's life. Good grief, it isn't a matter of being scared of our kids talking to a cashier like he was implying. It's a matter of leaving your child *alone* with someone you don't know for hours at a time. Some people have a problem with that. I know I do sometimes!

He also seems to be miffed that homeschool parents claim to be "too tired" to teach biblical truth on Sundays when they're asked. I have a feeling that the reality is that they don't buy into the whole Sunday School idea but don't want to offend the pastor or make waves. It's called a *white lie.* They don't want to be pushed into badmouthing a place and people they otherwise agree with and enjoy attending. And they don't want to feel they need to leave the church over an issue like this. Honestly, this is not the worst heresy that could ever happen, whichever side you're looking at it from... is it really worth leaving over?

Really?

11 comments:

  1. I'm definitely saddened when I hear about such discrimination of homeschoolers.

    As for the whole Sunday School phenomena....well, my boys' aren't doing faith formation at our church this next year. They learn far more from us at home.

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  2. Thank you, Laura. Comforted that this is not just a Protestant thing... I have heard of family integrated churches as well that have a nursing or crying room but the family stays together during the whole service. I like that idea but imagine it also has drawbacks.

    I just don't think this is a hill to die on *either way.* And it is discrimination. What if he made a post about public school moms and how they keep dumping their kids off on the youth group all the time?

    Oh wait. I've seen plenty of posts like that, but no one wants to go right out and say that it's a public school thing where parents have been trained just to leave their kids and not ask questions... how about some "me" time...

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  3. OH man, that persons comment on that page you linked to ticked me off! I had to say something. :P

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  4. LOL I trolled over there to check it out and they've either deleted it or you're stuck in moderation...

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Yep. I'm stuck in the moderation limbo.

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  7. We do send our kids to Sunday School now, mostly because it's really relaxed and fun for the kids. I don't see it as their faith education at all - that's the job of me and my husband. Whatever they pick up at SS is icing on the cake.

    At our old church they actually started having SS during the worship service. They had kids "worship" at the beginning, then the SS part following that, and the kids never worshiped with their parents. Kids are too noisy and distracting, you know. Ugh!

    That's not the only reason we left, but it was definitely a factor - not just SS, but how children are viewed in general.

    I think there are really just a lot of people who don't know what to do with homeschoolers. I think sometimes we make other Christian parents, who have made different choices about education, feel vaguely guilty, just by our very existence. And, then there's the fact that there are just wacky families in every sphere, and maybe that guy has truly come across some wacky homeschoolers! Too bad that makes us all weird and lazy, somehow.

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  8. Well, as a homeschooler who has attended three local churches with my children, I have never left them in and nursery or SS program. Firstly, our daughter has some needs that meant she would scream uncontrollably for hours on end and she does not take well to other people much of the time. She's content with me and if that helped her to sit quietly so we could attend the service, so be it.

    Number two, I attended church to attend church. Not to babysit the congregations children. When I was a kid, I sat through church with my Mom. I don't like the second a church sees a Mom enter they instantly jump on her wanting to cycle her in the nursery room every third Sunday, or beg teaching off of her. Might not sound nice, maybe it's not nice....but if my kids aren't in the SS or nursery, why should I miss church to babysit others kids? I just don't get it.

    As far as the writers judgements of homeschoolers, whatever.

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  9. Sue, I love that you've found a place where ALL your children are nurtured and cared for. ((hug))

    Blondee, I tried doing the volunteer thing but as you can imagine, with all these children on the spectrum you could just bet something would go wrong with AT LEAST one of them and I'd have to leave. It wound up where I was worse than unreliable. I was reliable... and then I was reliable to be called away.

    WORSE than not showing up, I think, because at least then you can grab a mom in the hall and beg her to help out...

    YEAH, why don't they bug the dads? Guys are some of the best caregivers, really, at least the ones who have parented a little while and know that pencils aren't baby toys...

    And lest you think me sexist, I've seen that sort of thing more than once...

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  10. I had to leave a comment after yours, Virginia! :-) Couldn't stand the completely illogical conclusion that homeschooling is the factor in one being social awkward or a rebellious teen, etc. Seriously? That's just ridiculous. If it were true, you'd rarely see rebellious or social awkward teenagers in the general population. And we all know that that's not true.

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  11. I stopped allowing myself to be volunteered in church for SS and whatnot when my husband was rejected as a volunteer in the nursery because he is male.

    So you're turning away people who want to do it, and you want to force it on me, someone who gets sick at the stomach from the thought of being alone with kids?

    No thank you.

    Don't even let me get started on the youth group culture... obnoxious!

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)