Old people were all sexxxy before they got dementia. So now that they have dementia they should be able to go on with their sexxxy lives! Just, you know, make sure it's consensual and all and then let Gramma go at it! Go Grams!
Oh. She's married? Well, that's ok. See, decisions about when and how and with whom to have sex are not serious decisions, like deciding whether to have a surgery. It's more one of those not-so-serious decisions like what kind of ice cream to have after dinner. So these old people who have dementia should be able to act out their feelings and whatever and have (ahem) fulfilling lives in the nursing home. Nevermind that Gramma isn't sure what year it is. She's horny!
One group of siblings just decided not to tell Mom that Dad was carrying on with some other wrinkly chick in the home she was using their life savings to pay for. So what if Dad has lost most of his faculties and never would have done that before? And so what about their marriage? We need to empower senior living and, you know, the patient choosing when and how to engage in the act and all that. Plus it's a "fundamental human right" to do the nasty.
I'm serious.
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
Wow....is all I can say...just....wow....
ReplyDeleteI said a lot more than that... but yeah.
DeleteOkay, now that I won't be able to eat breakfast ever again, I will comment. I would SERIOUSLY hate to be the employee who has to 'read the signs' that Edna and Filbert want to have relations!! What would that look like?? Whacking their canes together? Or maybe tossing the dentures on the couch? Or how about aimlessly wandering through the halls? If they have dementia, and they aren't sure who they are, let alone whom they are with, does that REALLY mean we shut them in a room, hand 'em a blue pill and some lube and tell them to knock three times when the deed is done?
ReplyDeleteI could never stand before my God and one day answer to Him why I would allow my confused Grandpa to schtup a lady he 'thought' to be Grandma. What happened to protecting and caring for our loved ones? Even ina reduced mental state? Good grief we are turning Grandma's and Grandpa's into wrinkly free hookers. Sad.
Hey, if it's a married couple or long-term relationship I could see it, but cheating on their spouses in the room the life savings is being drained to pay for? BAD TASTE.
DeletePlus the fact (as you - ha! - so eloquently mentioned) that these people are not in possession of a full deck of cards.
I'm not saying Grams isn't a sexual being any more, but being the "wrinkly free hooker" is not what I'd want in her life either. Seems these homes have no sense of balance!! :/
If a "partner" has dementia, can it really be consensual? (Rather appropriate word, con-sensual...) I worked in a nursing home where a married man raped his friend, Alta. Alta lost it almost immediately after that. Even in her extreme dementia, I think it killed her to go against her values. I'd be careful here...there is much more than meets the eye.
ReplyDeleteIf I were Alta's relative I would sue the holy crap out of the nursing home AND this dude's estate! Nuts.
DeleteSchools enable our kids to have sex at a young age without parental consent. I'm not surprised this is happening. still.... ewww. letting people with dementia have sex is no different than letting children. They are the same age mentally.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of it that way! I thought more that it just isn't like deciding on ice cream. Here we tell kids no, wait till you are older etc. and um, older's here!
DeleteI just object to (like you said) the inability of the patient to fully reason. And wow. NO regard for families here.
My mind boggles... and OMG I hope Stew and I don't end up with dementia! The thought of 'being' with anyone else but my husband is repugnant.
ReplyDeleteYep, better hope the home looks out for your best interests. And THIS is what they want to call freedom and empowerment...
DeleteOh, and those old men with dementia are oh so appropriate about how, when and with whom they attempt to initiate an encounter with don't you know. Not. ~ Ex Nursing Home Nursing Assistant (which is a long, long time ago since I worked as a RN for over 18 years and haven't worked outside the home at all for 6 years).
ReplyDeleteI know! It's a potential rape factory in the making! I'm astounded at this attitude! I know maybe we are fuddie-duddies trying to keep oldies from being sexual AT ALL but it seems this anything goes attitude is way too far in the ditch on the other side and is going to open the door to real exploitation and hurt. :(
DeleteThank you for commenting and giving the real nursing home scoop.