28 June 2012

Crazy Comment Monday: Healthcare Edition!

Bob: Hi, insurance company. I'd like to buy some health insurance.

Insurance company: No. You had cancer when you were 3 years old, and the cancer could come back. We're not selling you health insurance.

Bob: It's not my fault I got cancer when I was three! Besides, that was years ago!

Insurance company: If we sell insurance to you, we'll probably lose money, and we're not doing it.

Bob: But I need insurance more than anyone! My cancer might come back!

Insurance company: We don't care. We're not selling you insurance.

Obama: Hey, that's totally not fair. Bob is right, he does need insurance! Sell Bob some insurance.

Insurance company: If we have to, I guess.

Mary: This is cool. Obama said the insurance company has to sell insurance to anyone who needs it.

Sam: Hey, I have an idea. I'm going to stop paying for health insurance. If I get sick, I can always go buy some insurance then. The insurance company won't be able to say no, because Obama's told them they have to sell it to anyone who needs it!

Dave: that's a great idea! I'm not paying for health insurance either, at least not until I get sick.

Insurance company: Hey! If everyone stops paying for insurance, we'll go bankrupt!

Obama: Oh come on Sam and Dave, that's not fair either.

Dave: I don't care. It saves me money.

Obama: Oh for god's sake. Sam, Dave, you have to keep paying for health insurance, and not wait until you're sick. You too, Mary and Bob.

Mary: But I'm broke! I can't buy insurance! I just don't have any money.

Obama: Mary, show me your piggy bank. Oh, wow, you really are broke. Ok, tell you what. You still have to buy insurance, but I'll help you pay 95% of the cost.

Mary: Thanks for covering that for me!

Doctor: Hey, now that Obama's paying for Mary's doctor bills, we can jack up our rates. Obama's got lots of money!

Obama: Here we go again.

Doctor: No really, medical care is getting more expensive all the time. In fact, it got more expensive about 15 minutes ago. So now our rates our double. Pay up!

Obama: Ok, this is crap. I'm happy to pay for Mary's medicine, but I'm paying a reasonable amount, and that's it.

Glenn Beck: Hey look, Obama's rationing health care!

--excerpted from a pretty neat comments thread on reddit. I amended the cussing.  :)


  1. Hi. My name is Bob (or I am like Bob) Because of a past surgery and family history, I will be up a creek if I get sick again since hubby's insurance lapsed during a period of unemployment (without this health coverage). I can't get life insurance either... but I'd rather get medical care than have a windfall after my death.

  2. Facebook is annoying today. You would think God fell off the throne and is no longer sovereign. I typed, deleted and finally posted a comment to one person who implied that hospice was identical to euthanasia and Obama was personally going to force cancer patients into accepting essentially a gun in their head instead of chemotherapy.

    So far, our leaders seem much, much more interested in amassing debt than rationing, well, anything.

    But, if the truth be known, I would rather help the uninsured pay for health insurance than continue the war on drugs or imprisoning 1 out of 10 of our adult men, the war on terror is a lost cause too...

    1. Why either/or? We can borrow more than we will ever be able to pay back and do BOTH! For now.

      I dunno. I don't like the idea of the government being in charge of my health care. But I can't say that I'm ok with the system as it was, either.

  3. Obama won't be happy until everyone is bankrupt.

    1. I was thinking more "until the entire country embraces ungodliness AND is left in ruins," but ok. Though that isn't just a health care thing. :(


Non-troll comments always welcome! :)