28 August 2012

News Roundup!

A deaf preschool child can't use sign language for his name in school because it looks like a gun.  His name is Hunter.  Duhhh.  I have a sign for them myself, but I guess they won't allow that in school, either...

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Obama wants people on the coast to be prepared for Hurricane Isaac.  It's not the time to tempt fate, he warns.

Ok, so when is the proper time to tempt fate? Perhaps the president will issue the following statement next week:

"People of America, now that tropical storm Isaac has passed, scientists have determined that optimal fate-tempting time is NOW."

Yep.  It will be time to plug in all your hairdryers and use 'em while you soak in the tub.  Car surf.  Get a body piercing from some unlicensed dude in the alleyway.  Lick an angry bear's nose.  ALL those things you never wanted to do, time to do 'em.

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A Louisiana school is marking children's right hands with the mark of the beast when they buy their lunches.  Ok, it isn't.  But some extremely paranoid and fearful parents are afraid that scanning a child's hand as a method of identification is somehow the same as "marking" the hand with the 666 of end times prophecy.

This article actually interviews parents who will pull their children out of school if other people even try to use the scanning machine in the cafeteria. Ha ha ha!

I love Jesus, but His little Christian friends?  Maybe not all of them so very much.  Because they make me look stupid for believing in the same God.  Do I really have to hang out with these people in Heaven?  Fer reals, I would just like a condo with the normal people.  A beachfront one.  We can yell phrases like, "Iris scanner!" at the sunbathers in the morning and then have the beach all to ourselves for the day.






4 comments:

  1. The school should be smacked for not letting that child sign his name.

    No comment on tempting fate.

    Why not issue school ID cards and scan them for everything under the sun like college students.... put the things on a lanyard. I know... kids lose them, but I am more wary about residual effects of all that scanning and radiation in the long term than the mark of the beast. I don't know anything about scanning technology, but it all just seems invasive.

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    1. Oo, didn't even think of the scanning/medical effects. Makes sense, though. I guess. I don't know how WiFi works even. We could be exposing ourselves to all kinds of stuff, is my unscientific opinion. :/

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  2. LOL!
    You have the best sense of humor!

    I saw the whole sign language thing, how ridiculous.

    And I agree, some Christians do make us look stupid for believing in the same God. The other day an acquaintance was asking people to repost her status to prove their Christianity (because we all know THAT is how you prove it) and it said that a true Christian would never allow video games, LOTR, Harry Potter, Astrology or any form of rock music in their home, so repost if YOU are a true Christian....oh, please.

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    1. I swear, I am SO TEMPTED sometimes to repost pics of "Jesus" crying/holding the American flag, complete the "repost if your really in love with Jesus!" - type bad grammar.

      But then I wonder how many people would think I'm being for real and "like." How many people would try to talk me down out of the perceived tree. How many people would be like um... "hide this chick's statuses."

      lol

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)