28 December 2012

New TV Series!

TLC premieres "Nursing Home High," a reality show about high schoolers living in a nursing home.

Here's how it works.  Three seniors are ushered into a nursing home their last semester.  If they make it through without leaving the building and pass all their classes via skype, they will receive a $45,000 college scholarship.  But during non-school/homework hours, their electronics, phones, everything is taken away because old people usually don't know how to work these and/or they are too expensive.  There will be no way they can text their friends or have social contact with them during that semester, either, or they forfeit the prize.

They are also not allowed to talk to any family member older than they are during the show because in real life no 90-year-old can still phone her mom.  The TV staff will select one friend or younger sibling they can communicate with, but what the contestants don't know?  Is that the friend or sibling will have to pretend to have dementia, speak slowly, and ramble on about, "Oh do you remember that time where we went to the park, and we were at the park?  Times were different then..."

It's gonna be great!  I can't wait to see the epic tantrums these "kids" throw when staff speak slowly and condescendingly to them AND TALK ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS.  They're gonna go absolutely crazy for the cameras.  Especially when they finally resign themselves to a boring six months of reading in bed, only to find out that the only books they're allowed have three-point type so that the dwindling vision of older people is simulated.  They will find themselves greedily grabbing that large-print Reader's Digest and even laughing at the goofy comics.

Ok, all of the above is totally fake.  But I was just thinking for a second there (I forget why, because I'm old maybe) about how I'd rather be dead than stuck in a nursing home.  Seriously.  I can think of no other fate quite so legally cruel.  Unfortunately, life being what it is, we don't get to decide.

But (and why am I thinking this even, maybe because I'm old now) it would seriously be great if there could be secret shoppers in nursing homes.  You know.  Like the big companies hire to see if their employees are doing a good job, except these people would stay for a couple of weeks and hear what happens there at night.  And do things like check, are there enough staff to get all these sleeping oldsters out safely if there is a real fire??  Are there bedbugs?  What is the food like?  And can people contact friends in the outside world?  And is there cable TV?

I am seriously hooked on this Hoarders thing.  I'm probably going to have to watch every episode to get it out of my system.  Then I hear there is some new "Amish Mafia" series.  Really?  Like who wants to watch that?

But then I thought the same thing about "Who wants to watch people who live in piles of trash?" that is the premise of this series.


8 comments:

  1. You had me going there! I was thinking "what a great idea!" Perhaps you should sale your idea to some producers!

    As for the "Amish Mafia", my hubs, son and I are hooked on it!! I just wonder how much of it is REALITY!

    But putting the fun and your talent for creating a new show aside, You brought up some very good points. We have one senior lady in an institution that makes me sick when I visit. Another two of our church members, live in two beautiful facilities.

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    1. I saw the previews and what it LOOKS LIKE is stories about a real guy and his gang that are changed slightly and then acted out. But that the premises behind the stories are true. Also I noticed that it's slightly misleading... the "church" can do nothing to these people "because they are not baptized." Ha ha ha! Okayy, that means they are not technically part of that church, right? Well, maybe I am splitting hairs. :)

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  2. I thought you were serious about the high schoolers in a nursing home, but I was thinking the object of the exercise was to teach compassion and patience with the elderly, perhaps with the high schoolers taking on some of the care and duties once they are out of school hours for the day.

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    1. I think if viewers saw how nutty it would make normal, regular, everyday people stuck in there act, that it would educate a much larger audience WHILE being very entertaining. You need the show contestants to act up a little bit or your ratings won't be as good. :)

      I think high schoolers can often lack compassion if they don't understand, REALLY, what that is like to simply not be able to do most things and to not have any social life, especially if they came from nice homes and had friends. You can imagine, but it's different than sitting there day after day. :)

      I don't think I'd want someone who doesn't have compassion yet to work on learning it with my family. Which (and maybe this is another post) having drunk drivers or other people "volunteer" to help others can be very counterproductive.

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  3. LOL!! You got me! Here I was thinking 'who in their right mind would let their kid DO that?'.

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    1. $45,000??? I WOULD!! That's more money than we have in every savings account, and it would pay for college. Oh yeah, I would. "Patrick" would have been perfect at this and he is very mellow/not given to chat much anyway. He would make it ok, actually $45,000 richer. :)

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  4. lol, I was totally thinking this was real.. going REALLY TLC??? but this is the same channel that brings you Honey Boo Boo so I wouldn't be surprised..lol

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  5. I was hooked and loving it! It'd be an interesting life. Thanks for sharing. :)

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)