12 May 2014

Have You Ever Misplaced an Important Document?

I have. My birth certificate has gone missing.  Well, it was very, very faded anyway.  And it wasn't on normal paper but some odd metallic-like thing, and all the creases destroyed the lettering.  But it was real.  Now I have no proof I exist!  I need to get another.

A recorded message at the health department in the county where I was born has about a zillion prompts.  Are you in a life-threatening emergency?  Hang up and dial 911.

Do you need to report toxic waste?  Press 1.

Do you need HIV testing?  Press 2.

Do you need to be tested for a "communicable disease?"  Press 3.

Do you need a birth or death record?  Press 4.

Wow.  I asked the lady who answered the phone what kind of town they were running that this is the sort of first impression you get of the place.

"Ma'am?" she answered.  "This is Cleveland.  Nobody going to be here that doesn't have to be here." 

Yep.  "This is Cleveland" is actually a marketing/tourist-y gimmick.  She was just being a bit honest about it.  :)


2 comments:

  1. Oh my! No, I don't have a copy .. sorry! Hope you can get a replacement.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, as soon as I figure out how and order one? I will find the old one. :)

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)