Emperor had a substitute teacher for health class today. She started the hour off with a small lecture along the lines of, "We have a pre-test to do, and I need you to be very mature about it and not giggle and that sort of thing."
Emperor raised his hand. "Um, if this is about sex, I need to leave." The teacher told him that he can sit down and do his work. He sat. The papers were passed out. Emperor looked at the paper and the first question his eyes rested on contained the words "sexual contact." Emperor flipped the paper over, slammed his hand upon it loudly, stood up and got his stuff together. The teacher told him he could "just go to the office."
"Exactly where I was going anyway," he said as he left.
One of the school counsellors was walking by and asked him if he were in trouble. "No," he replied, "They just started talking about sex and I left because I'm not taking their stupid survey."
"Ohhh," she said knowingly. "That's ok. I know your mom."
I'm surprised I didn't get a phone call, but I see my teenager handled it juuust fine on his own.