29 August 2016

On Leaving the House

To Whom it May Concern:

Now that I've finished yelling, I'm going to just write something about our day.  I'm very sorry I yelled at you.  I was very upset and hurt.  And embarrassed.
Unrelated photo of a dala horse in Lindsborg, Kansas.

I want you to know that when we go out of the house, I really do want to be proud of you.  I want to feel I can take you anywhere and know that you will be the master of the unspoken word.  (In other words, zip it sometimes, guys!)

If you're not someone's doctor, please don't tell someone what colour they are, remark upon tattoos or strange scars, or ask "what's that?" about anything that strikes you as odd.  I'm pretty sure they already know they have tattoos or scars or are fat or whatever.  Please.  You embarrass that other person and you embarrass me.  I love you very much, but it hurts me to see you hurt someone else's feelings.  I don't think you meant to, but you sure did.

So next time, please just don't say anything.  Please.  You're too big for comments like that to be understandable at this point.

When we're in the store, I'd like you to use "relevant speech."  That means if we're looking for paints, please don't tell anyone everything about your entire family or what you ate for breakfast today or whether you're going to have a party later.  And pleaaaaase don't invite strangers to my house to the party.  Mmmkay?  Thanks.

A final word.  When we're in the hardware store, never use any of the tools.  Again, I really do want to take you places and be proud of you.  I do.  And I'll always love you no matter what.  But to make me proud, you need to do things like remembering to stay with me all the time and not touch anything you're not supposed to handle.  You just do!

I know your note to me would remind me not to yell and lose my temper.  I am sorry.  But to use the standby excuse I keep hearing?  "You started it!"

Let's do better tomorrow.  I'm going to go into time out now by my computer with my coffee.  I will give you a break with the computer in just a bit when you are done with your worksheets.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Love you!

Mom.

12 comments:

  1. " And pleaaaaase don't invite strangers to my house to the party." Ah! You had me laughing here. Sounds like a challenging day. Blessings for you and your family!

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    1. Unfortunately this has happened several times. For whatever reason this particular kid is notorious for doing stuff like that, or WORSE, inviting real friends over for lunch or whatever and then the invitee and I are both in an awkward situation.

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  2. That seems like a very clear message and I hope it is received with a hug and a smile. Some things take a little longer to learn thoroughly.

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    1. I wish I gave my original message much more calmly, but yeah. Thanks, River! :)

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  3. I assume it was not Woodjie Christine but is it was I can empathise Big time

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    1. It was Woodjie! Yep... he does this stuff all the time now! I appreciate that every word he says is a miracle but I do wish he'd keep just a few of them to himself.

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    2. Would social stories on what not to say in public help Christine.
      I have done a number of those over the years

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  4. He's got catching up to do, Mom...he'll probably grow up and be a politician! I am so sorry.......

    I love the way you ended it. "Let's do better tomorrow."

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  5. I had a student who drove me up the wall in my special ed class for 3 years. At the end, I told his Mom I would be proud to have a kid like him---from my mouth to God's ears...Ben came to us within a year. My student was also the brightest (tested him at 160+) kid I ever knew. They are so different. What I mean by doing better tomorrow is starting over. I was the worst mother in the world until that plan entered my head...it changed our relationship. No wonder Woodjie loves you so much. You are the kid of mother he needs.

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)