Kansas City School District

The funny thing about Kansas City School District is that it sure doesn't equal "Kansas City." Kansas City downtown is a teeeeeny tiny fraction of what is actually legally "Kansas City." I think "Kansas City" actually takes up about a third of the state and is mostly white and suburban. There is a good plenty of beautiful old farmland that is presently being torn up and made into boomboomboom little tract houses, big McMansions on teeeeny plots of land with teeeeny trees and matching mailboxes, and Mission-style apartments - mountainous! - that draw thousands.

I'm telling ya, Patrick has been invited to friends' houses that aren't even google map-able. Whole streets not marked. It doesn't help that street signs go missing or directions from 17-year-olds are sometimes a little fuzzy. But the "census" this year will no doubt show tons of people moving into Kansas City, even if those "tons of people" are certainly not urban.

Our school district is a suburban one, but we have about 3/4 as many students as the Kansas City School District. No one wants to live in the Kansas City School District. At all. Well, I suppose *someone* probably does, or there wouldn't be anyone left. The city is doing brilliant things like "condemning" whole blocks and handing them to developers who make posh condos that childless people move into for the extreme tax breaks that last 247 years. Better believe these are people who aren't coming to the downtown area for the great schools, or even the great neighbourhoods a few blocks over.

In my district, the new homes over the Kansas City line are advertised streetside with large "KANSAS CITY ADDRESS... (Name of Mrs. C's city here) SCHOOLS!!" banners. It's just real estate sales, but it's really another way of saying, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEND YOUR KIDS TO THE ICKY SCHOOLS IN KC... MOVE HERE INSTEAD!!"

Gazoodles of police officers, firefighters and the like live in this area because they're required to live in the city limits and technically... they are. Sure, they're violating the spirit of the law, but certainly not the letter and I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I were them. Certainly when we moved here, we knew we would NOT be buying/renting/going anywhere near places that were associated with Kansas City Public.

Did we "abandon" the district by not seriously shopping there? Do people who move out "abandon" the district? Here's an interesting article about KC Public's history that implies that sure, the administrators made a TWO BILLION DOLLAR MISTAKE (whoops), but the school system is in trouble because of those irresponsible publicly-educated teens who keep having sex. It's their fault even though we all know they learned about the different ways they COULD have sex in school (but shouldn't! but here's where you can get free condoms! don't do it! and take a pamphlet on birth control). And it's also a mess in KCSD because of those terrible middle class white people who just don't seem to understand that they have a social obligation to keep their kids in bad schools for the sake of the other children.

YES, many of these problems happened when desegregation happened. Imagine yourself back in the day. They used to send the black kids to crappy schools. Now they're desegregating and YOUR kid is going to be bussed to a crappy school. People are angry. Crowds of black people are throwing rocks at YOUR child and there is racial unrest. Are you racist for leaving?

I don't blame people for leaving. I know families who did back then when there were race riots and are glad they did. You can say all you want about "white flight," but the truth is, black folks are leaving in droves, too. Common sense has no colour line. You would just never know it to look at the news, but many of the newer students in our district are not white. Don't cover that story, though! Focus on the fact that even though we have a very big increase percentage-wise in minorities (well, maybe don't even mention that part! too divisive), that it's still an overwhelmingly white district out in the burbs, would ya?

The school districts in general seem to think they own the children within their boundaries, so it's hardly surprising that KCPS tried to keep some of the more suburban outlying portions of its district from defecting to Independence, or that it tried to incorporate more "white" areas to keep itself from becoming the "hollowed-out heart of the metro" that it is. There are hard feelings all around on that one.

"From Liberty to Lenexa, 'you don’t even have to say more than the words "Kansas City School District" to trigger an emotional reaction,' says William Worley, a local historian and author."

You've got that right. I think the KCSD is on the right track with massive school closures and actually working on educating the children rather than supporting a crumpled infrastructure. It's a shame they had to cut charters and other choices for children, and I think it will further contribute to an exodus from public education there. It seems to me that in extreme bad and urban districts, the focus has to be on providing a school and a teacher for all students, and nevermind the Latin lessons and marble floors. Don't like the basics? Leave. I think it's time to stop pretending that all public schools offer a "quality public education" for each child. They don't. All public schools are not the same, just like my homeschool is going to be different from someone else's.

Why pretend? The district already spent $2 billion pretending, and it didn't draw the elite crowd they wanted. Time to work with the children you actually have and quit wishing they were different.

Happy Meal High School

Browsing the 'web and came across an interesting site designed to answer public school patron concerns at a district in upstate New York. (link; scroll way down to find excerpt)

"Comment:
I have two children in school and support their education, but school taxes are out of control. How do you expect people to keep paying more and more?

Response:
No one likes paying taxes. You could think of it as the cost to send your children to school. (LOL You mean public education isn't FREE? Someone pays for it?? Ok, sorry to interrupt. You may continue.)

Think about it this way: a home assessed at $200,000 pays approximately $6,000 in taxes. Students are in school for 180 days. This amounts to $33 per day. If you have two children attending school you are paying $16.50 per child per day. If they are in middle school, they are picked up at roughly 8 a.m. and dropped off at 4 p.m. That means that you are paying $2 an hour for each child. This doesn't take into account the fact that they may stay later for extracurriculars, extra help or sports. When you think about it, it costs more to take a child to a movie or buy a happy meal."

Done laughing? Ok.

Now, I'm sure we ALL ordinarily take our children to the movies and buy them Happy Meals (tm) several times a day, and if it weren't for the nice people at the Shenenenenendehoahah School District taking the kids off our hands occasionally and exercising them, they'd need a $6,000 motorized scooter to hang out with the other kids at the mall. Those mall rats, racing their Larks (tm), waving their canes about and smoking their Winstons in the food court... they cause trouble. But thankfully, the schools have an indoor pool to prevent this travesty. In UPPER New York State, where the average temperature is -500 degrees, I'm sure that "swimming" is a skill these kids will use long after graduation. But, the website tells us, that's a way better use of money than that-thar "air conditioning." It only gets hot enough to use THAT a few days out of every year!

WOW.

Can YOU afford an extra $6,000 a year? JUST on school taxes alone? Not even counting your mega New York sales tax, hospital tax, police, fire, local mafia and special highway taxes? Every road out there is a toll road, you know, and you either have to pay something like $50 a day to use the state highways or use a discombobulated system of half-patched and dog-legging dirt roads for two hours just to get across town. And you'd better know your way because they change the names of the streets, many of which have similar names. Really. So after shelling out all the kind of money it costs to live in that part of the country, I'm pretty sure no one would have any money to homeschool their kids, let alone feed 'em Happy Meal (tm) burgers several times each day. Good grief!

Mind you, I do feel it's reasonable that if you have a child in public school that you pay your fair share of the expense of educating your own kid. I also know we have this outstanding agreement that we all pay for the roads, even if we don't use them, and the ambulance services and etc. etc. yeah yeah blah blah blah. I really do get that the money we pay out does not necessarily have to equal the "benefit" we get individually from the system. And I also know that the cost of educating a kiddo like Woodjie is going to be ohhh, about equal to my husband's take-home salary each year if Woodj stays in school full-time and keeps having his own aide and the special class and the special bus and the special aide on the bus etc.

But $6,000. Um, my parents lived in this SAME TOWN while I was in college and I will bet you they paid more like $12,000. God bless 'em, but I think I'd have lived in a tipi before I'd give anyone the satisfaction of taking $12,000 of my own money away. Here's a link to a house on the same street... my folks had a place with more bedrooms and stuff like that. Corner lot, too.

But since they moved there while I was in college, I never made any friends. I'd just come "home" and work at the mall as a janitor or McDonald's worker. It was an odd foray into the life of the lower middle class. I discovered that I am not smart enough to run a register and keep an order straight. No. That is not false modesty. I cannot remember verbal directions. I very nearly flunked out of PE and several other classes in which teachers SPOKE instead of WROTE on the board. If it isn't written down and I can't read the list... I honestly can't do it. I wouldn't say it's quite a disability because see? I have two arms and legs. I just don't put myself into positions where the spoken word must be relied upon to convey information if I can possibly help it. If it's unavoidable, I'm shouting, "WAIT! LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN A SECOND." Months later, I get complimented for my uncanny memory. LOL, I really just look up everything in a binder. I write things and keep them in binders. True. All I have to do is remember which binder I need to look in for a given piece of information. And no, it's not easier just to remember the information. That would make too much sense.

Well... I don't miss Clifton Park. My little (six ft, 4 in tall, bald with BIG TATTOOS) brother finished out his education there and married his high school sweetheart. They are living nearby, though in less fancy digs, with their three children. I couldn't imagine spending $12,000 a year on public schools each year in property taxes alone... in ten years, that tax money could BUY you a decent-sized house out here outright. How many Happy Meals (tm) do you think I could get for $120,000?

On Order.

This will not arrive in time for Elf's birthday. I had to decide between ordering other things from a place that could deliver in time, or order from Amazon, get the "free" shipping, and buy THIS with the money I'm saving on shipping.

It was a hard decision. Stuff on time? Or more stuff... but later. Had to call Elf in to decide. I let him look at it and decide... is it worth waiting a bit longer?

He gasped when he saw the ring. Ooooohh. Well... Can he see the other stuff he's getting?

No. (That was pretty hard for him to hear!!)

But you can be in on the secret! He'll get the Two Towers CD and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I'm spending the money my parents sent out for Elfie's birthday. He will love it. :)

Thanks, A Noni Mouse!

Elf read my Keebler Chronicles blog post and asked me to post his comment. "This was a very funny blog post," he told me. "But I am still a Keebler Elf."

I'm using A Noni Mouse's idea of a "retirement" from the Keebler factory when Elf turns ten. I have taken a shoe box and pasted Keebler pictures all over the outsides and printed "Happy Retirement from all the elves at the KEEEEEEEBLER factory" for the top, ready for presentation on his birthday.

Inside, I have placed an ID card. It reads:

"Be it hereby known that
(Elf's Real Name Here)
is a retired Keebler Elf with all the benefits befitting retired Keebler elves; namely, promotion to Rivendell Elf status and Fifth-grade Elf status. Witness my hand and seal this 12th day of June in the year 2010 in the presence of J.R. Keebler, esq. et al.

(fake signature)
Ernie Elf"

This was placed over his picture in such a way that his face and shoulders are visible. I placed the Keebler logo from a pie crust near his head and then laminated it to make the ID card. I also put a couple packages of cookies inside the box and a note which reads:

Dear "Realname" the Elf,

We're going to miss pretending the Keeblers with you every night, but we know that you are growing older and are ready for new things. For our special goodbye gift, we wanted to be sure to give you a REAL ID card. We hope that you save it and always remember our time together.

May God bless you!

The Elves of
Keebler Elf Troop #89

Hopefully, the tiny Elf will be ok with this chapter of his life closing. I was thinking of making a fake package from the Rivendell elves, but I'm not sure what to do for that on a budget. :)

Adjustments

With Patrick away in China, G is lonely. He found a friend and fell asleep late last night.

Patrick and Me.

Patrick and his orchestra group left at 3 a.m. yesterday morning. They should be in Beijing right now finishing dinner and getting ready for bed. I am 5 ft 8 inches tall, and Patrick is not standing as straight as he could be. I'm thinking his legs are probably sore from being cramped on the flight. :)

The Keebler Elf Chronicles

Elf is nearly 10. It's time for him to give up this idea that he is really a Keebler Elf. People sort of think that's a bit odd when you insist that.

"But I really *am* a Keebler Elf," Elf insists.

"No, really," I tell him. "Let's have a serious talk here, Elf. Time to be really honest. We like to pretend that you are a Keebler elf, and that you go to the Keebler factory at night when everyone is sleeping to make cookies, but you've really never been there."

"I go there every night! I make the cookies!" He folds his arms.

"The truth is that the Keebler factory is in Battle Creek, Michigan, and that it employs ADULTS, not elves, and that you have never been there."

"But the Keebler TREE; I've been to that. You're thinking of a different place!"

"No, Elf." I'm trying to speak calmly so he can really listen. "We both know the Keebler Tree and the Keebler elves are just advertising. There are really no Keebler elves, and you have never been to the Keebler factory."

"Explain the cookies, then. You KNOW they don't just show up at the store. I AM a Keebler elf and I do make the Keebler cookies."

"Elf... I'm being serious." (I'm seeing Elf is getting pretty upset... so we'll try a different tack.) "Older elves like to pretend to visit Rivendell and see Frodo..."

"THAT is such a LIE. I don't go to Rivendell! I'm a KEEBLER elf!!"

How should I reason with that? "Okayyy... but when you turn ten, it will be time to stop pretending the Keeblers, Elfie."

"I object!"

You... object?

"I object! And I want a fair trial!! This isn't fair!"

"Elfie. Elfie..." I don't even know what to say (sigh). "You know in a dictatorship, you don't get a fair trial."

"I know. But I want one anyway!"

"Elfie... you know even with a trial you would have no way of proving you are a Keebler elf."

"I can so! I have the keychain from Ernie!!" (Yep. The Keebler people sent him a plastic "Ernie" elf keychain several years ago. I guess now it's proof that he's an elf.)

"Elfie... you know that keychains don't prove that you are a Keebler elf. It's time that we stop pretending that you are a Keebler elf, little man."

"This is NOT FAIR!" Elf has hopped off the couch and is standing with his hands on his hips. "I want a fair trial! And I have a keychain! And I can show you my Elf ID just as soon as I am done colouring it! I can really prove that I AM AN ELF AT THE KEEBLER FACTORYYYYY!"

Ohhhhhh.... kay. Guess we'll talk about this later.