The Matthew Effect

Public school analysts use Matthew 13:12 to describe struggling learners, because educational equity is what Jesus came and died for.  Obviously. 

"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath." 

The so-called "Matthew Effect" comes into play when children aren't just reading to learn to read, but are beginning to use textbooks to study information.  They say this happens somewhere around third grade.  One "evaluation specialist" claims to be able to spot the dropouts in first grade!

I don't see it this way.  I see it as, let's add to the knowledge the child has.  Let's add to his reading skills.  When people are not discussing children in a positive and valuing way, they won't feel positive about school or valued.  It's not just words here.  When you feel that the school needs good test scores, and you score badly?  You've let down the team.  You're not a great student.

Think about what that does to a child's psyche for a moment there.  It used to be at least that children who were bad students were just bad students.  Now they're seen as jeopardizing the teachers' job and the funding of the entire system.  It's just too heavy a burden to put on these kids.

I know teachers feel absolutely crushing stress over these tests.  But teachers don't have to be there.  No state law is mandating that they walk through those doors every morning.  There are some things more important than doing well on a test, and I feel that helping a child grow up to think that books are his friends is one of them.

Love = Buy Scholastic Books

Dear Parents:  buying books from our book fair will improve your child's vocabulary and make him more likely to go to college.  Not buying our books means that you hate your kid and are a terrible parent.  You are under no obligation to buy any books whatsoever, but we've used class time to take your child through the fair so we could prepare this wish list.

80,000 Kids Learning Little to No Math.

Orthodox Jewish schools in the New York City area teach little to nothing in the way of "secular" subjects like math and science.  Mayor Bloomberg (God love him!) stated recently that he isn't sure if it's his place to do anything about it.  Because he's too busy making sure no one drinks more than 21 ounces of soda at a time.  Or maybe some state department deals with that.  Well, he doesn't know. *shrug*

Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz implied that doesn't really care whether little Jewish kids learn to do algebra.  I mean, just as long as they're ignorant for religious reasons.

"It’s not for me to intervene in the priorities of education of religious institutions, whether they be Catholic or Protestants or Jews or Muslims or whatever it may be in any other religion, Buddhist and Hindu," he said.

It's not for me to intervene in his choice of career, either, but I think "Marty Mark" would make an excellent name for a rap star.

Anyway.

It seems odd to me that the same state that literally persecutes people for failing to file paperwork just rolls over and goes "meh" about something this big. 

Why are people not caring?

The Case of the Disappearing Sophomores

The "point" of this article could be just about anything.

One young lady was told that she was not to return to school as a sophomore. She's not likely to do well on the important test sophomores take in Texas.  Okayyy.  So then make her return to school as a freshman, get caught up, and totally ace the tests you need to take as a sophomore, right?  I mean, that is what MY parents would make me do.  Instead, no.  The mom "protested" this placement and now blames the school for her daughter's rotten choices in life.

Somehow having to retake a year in high school led to the kid dropping out, never getting a GED, becoming a welfare moocher and popping out three kids before the age of 21.

Riiiiiiight.  Please tell me these people are too lazy to vote as well.

Now the superintendent is under federal investigation and this school district's troubles are being called "by far the worst education scandal in the country" because he allegedly rigged who would be in which classes in such a way that many of the low-performers wouldn't be tested as sophomores.

Articles like this make me think schools should get bonuses or fines based on the individual student.  Wouldn't it make more sense for a public school student's progress to be tracked individually through the system rather than as a demographic group?

You'd think with all the nanny trash cams, individual RFID tracking systems and the like, that a simple system like this could be implemented.  I have to conclude educrats just think it's just so much more socially appropriate, and will lead to greater equality of educational outcomes, to label a child by his race, income and gender and then amalgamate the scores.  *eyeroll*

The fact is that no one was looking at the individual students in El Paso.   But yippee Skippy weren't those demographic groups doing nicely...

Should Homeschoolers Keep a Low Profile?

We're really proud of the local school.  It's part of living in this town:  we root for the Falcons.  If you homeschool, it's like saying you don't want to be part of the social fabric of the town.  Your children are not participating in something that is important to all of us.  

You're also unintentionally hurting the feelings of some very nice, dedicated people who work hard to keep our local school one of the best in the region.  And you're basically saying that my school isn't good enough for your kid.  I know you don't mean it that way, exactly, but that's how it comes across to a lot of people.

There's also the fact that not everyone can homeschool like you.   People feel guilty or obligated when they hear about the good things that you are doing with your child.  You don't have to say one word about them homeschooling for them to feel judged.  I know you don't want to hear that, but that's just human nature.

And plus.  You never know when you need to go get a job or your situation otherwise changes.  Imagine what people would think if you enrolled your child after stating you think "God" wants you to homeschool right now. God would look pretty stupid, and you don't want that to happen.

I know you really enjoy homeschooling, but I think you should just tone it down a little. 

This guest post is one local mom's answer to the question, "Should homeschoolers keep a low profile?"  What do you think?  Are homeschoolers too out-and-about and prideful?

Woodjie Update

I don't know what to say.  Woodjie's a good kid.  But.  Just about every day, I get notes home about how he "hit a friend" a couple times during the school day.  Or he "ran away and didn't want to join the class."  Or he "got so upset and angry he threw up a little."

I've chatted with his teacher a few times, have given what few suggestions I could for calming him down (which don't always work at home, but hey), and have sent in his weighted vest.  We are all of us trying/struggling to figure out what is going on.

His teacher and aide are working on charts about his behaviour.  You know, ABC type stuff. 

A - the antecedent.  What happened that caused the behaviour?
B - the behaviour that we'd sure not like to see.
C - the consequence of the behaviour (had to sit in time out, or whatever)

Right now, there seems to be no particular time of day and no rhyme or reason we can discern that causes Woodjie to flip.  I'm thinking if I were in that kindergarten class?  I wouldn't want to sit near Woodjie.

And the thing is, he's not perfect here at home, but he's not flipping out puking mad and hitting his "friends" all the time, either.

I would ordinarily be very, very distrustful of teachers, but this is Miss Flower, who was Elfie's kindergarten teacher.  She was lovely and sweet to Elf.  Things went downhill with a thud when she was no longer his teacher in first grade.  So for Woodjie?  It's so odd that we have the same (wonderful) teacher.  Because Woodjie is in a specialized autism class across town.  Hey, who knows, maybe working with super-great kids like Elf inspired her to take that job.

Yesterday I was very discouraged about Woodjie's behaviour chart.  I made D sign it because I don't always want to sign the bad stuff, and maybe if they saw that a man was signing these things they'd know we're really, really taking things seriously and are not personally endorsing playground violence and bla bla bla (insert silly argument here).

So D took the paper, scrawled his signature on the line and then wrote "A MAN" underneath.  I just left it because... I have no clue why.  Sometimes you have to laugh at stuff for no reason or you'll cry.

The good news is that today, Woodjie got all smiley faces on his take-home chart for the second time this school year.  So I'm rejoicing that yayyy... things went ok today.  Or at least well enough that the Zootsie Wumble got to play on the computer this afternoon.  Woot.

Hoping for many more days like this, but you can imagine how frustrating it is for Miss Flower, for Woodjie's aide, for me and for Woodjie.

13 Things Your Child's Teacher Won't Tell You

An article from Reader's Digest.  Hm.  These people have over 1,140,000 followers on facebook (!!) so they have to be good, right?  A few items from their list:

**

"Kids used to go out and play after school and resolve problems on their own. Now, with computers and TV, they lack the skills to communicate. They don't know how to get past hurt feelings without telling the teacher and having her fix it."  

This is one of those true/not true kinds of statements.  Sure, in the old days, we learnt not to whine to our teachers about every little problem.  That's because we got the "who cares/go deal with it yourself" line from them.  A little bullying never hurt anyone, was the prevailing attitude.  Some of us older folks lived through hell.  For years.  Because of that.

So overall, it's a good thing things have changed.  The flip side of that is that now teachers and principals seem to have to referee every hurt feeling, and parents (knowing now the dangers of bullying, who can blame them?) are often getting into the mess themselves.  But I don't think that children are entirely different than they were 40 years ago.

**
"When I hear a loud belch, I remember that a student's manners are a reflection of his parents'." 

And when I hear a bunch of bullcrap, I remember that it's probably coming from some super-liberal childless teacher who just got her first job. Tell you what.  After you raise four or more children to adulthood without any belching incidents whatsoever, I'll believe that your children are just as perfect as you think you are.  Until then, shut up.

**
"You do your job, I'll do mine. I have parents who are CEOs of their own companies come in and tell me how to run my classroom. I would never think to go to their office and tell them how to do their jobs." 

Ok, chicky.  You want to go there.  You are no CEO and equating your job with being the CEO of a major corporation is a wee mite big-headed.  So there's that.  Maybe let's go down a few notches to "do you want fries with that?" and pretend you manage a restaurant.  You're not super-powerful, but you're not nobody, either.  You answer to others above you and you also answer to the customer across the register from you. 

It can be complicated, managing people who sometimes have unrealistic expectations.  I appreciate that.  But I think most parents are pretty reasonable in their requests.  You have their child for most of his waking hours during the school year.  They are helping to pay for your salary and you are also asking them to help with homework and to back you up when issues with the student come up.  I know you have certain parameters in which to do your job, but you could at least listen a bit and work WITH the parent.

Aaargh. 

The "sources" of these happy quotes include teachers from several states and um, the American Federation of Teachers.  That's right.  The teachers' union is getting a chance to "create dialogue" with public school parents, and this is the tripe they came up with.  Meh.  :/

It's Funny Because It's TRUE.

Fake news article... but only just.  A teacher in an underprivileged school yaps on about how she's changed lives and mentored and all this other stuff.  OH.  Man.  It felt like reading the liberal teacher-chick blogs.  You know the ones.

Then counter point.  "Written" by a fourth-grader.  "I fully understand that our nation is currently facing an extreme shortage of teachers and that we all have to make do with what we can get," he writes. "But does that really mean we have to be stuck with some privileged college grad who completed a five-week training program and now wants to document every single moment of her life-changing year on a Tumblr?"

"For crying out loud, we're not adopted puppies you can show off to your friends."

No.  Because adopted puppies?  You have to train diligently.  You're entirely responsible for them.  You don't give up your "career" in teaching a puppy after three years.  You just don't.  You're either a good doggie momma or you're one of those flighty people who dump the dog off at the pound just as the puppy cuteness wears off and he's learnt some bad habits.

Summer School Update.

So my tiny blondie boy can apparently take down a kid twice his size on the playground, sit on him, pummel him and rub his face in the dirt.  Here I had missed the school's phone call and was sad for Woodjie yesterday when he got off the bus that his knee was dirty and he didn't get his "lining up nicely after recess" sticker.  Not getting that sticker was really a big deal and Woodjie was pretty sad about it.  He also was telling me about the horror of having a dirty knee, very upsetting.  Not a word about the fight.

The school says "maybe they need to give Woodjie more support on the playground," which is a nice way of saying, "We cannot leave this kid alone for ONE STINKIN' MINUTE or he's going to run off or otherwise cause trouble."  Which.  I agree with.  I live with him. 

I love this little guy very much, but he can't tell us what started it all.  His speech isn't even very understandable to family.  I don't know.  The other kid could have said or done about anything before he got taken down.  Or it could have been a misunderstanding.  Or (unlikely) my kid coulda just decided it would be an interesting challenge to try to bully someone the size of a fifth grader.

I am into the autism acceptance thing and all that but realllly wish I could more fully communicate with Woodjie.  I don't know how to make him completely understand that this is not ok and to get an adult.  Maybe it doesn't matter because now?  He will be under constant supervision anyway.  Which.  I want.  But.  Wish I didn't have to want.

Bad Parenting? Or Bad Schools?

** I couldn't watch more than 30 seconds when it popped up on my facebook feed.  A school bus aide is taunted and bullied until she's left in tears.  Read the article and see the video here.

"That is what happens when you let kids socialize kids in a school system that is dedicated to the notion that truth is relative," wrote Michael Farris on HSLDA's facebook page. "The formal definition of socialization is passing the values of society from one generation to the next. These kids should be listening to this woman for her wisdom. Instead, they abuse her in the extreme. Who wants their kids socialized in THAT atmosphere?" 

 Okayyy, Mr. Farris.  So.  What if I had a video of the young men who used the church TV/VCR rolly cart combo to watch pornos a few years back at the church up the street?  Would it be a fair deduction for me to post it and say that the socialization one gets in church is bad and "who wants their kids socialized in THAT atmosphere?" rather than going, "R***** Church stinks!  They really aren't watching their kids very well there!"   

The kids on this bus should be punished, and really more than that, the first person to act out should have been handed a consequence right there.  Allowing the aide to be verbally abused simply emboldened the other students to think of more harsh words and cross the line into physical abuse.  I submit to you that the problem should be dealt with by the parents, the police and guess what?  The SCHOOL.  I firmly believe the school is NOT the parent of these children, and it does NOT teach religious values.  It doesn't follow that the school can't set consequences for socially unacceptable and harassing behaviour, however.

Everyone should be ashamed of this video, really.  I notice at least there is no blustering about the "no video recording on school property" at least.  Maybe the school will take this seriously.

 

American Schools are NOT Declining!

In fact, they're just the same as always, really.  Getting better teachers and changing the curriculum won't do jack diddly.  It's been done before in the 1960's, so might as well forget it unless you're willing to actually spend more money on teachers AND make children actually practice their math and science more.  In other countries, failure is perceived not as a lack of aptitude, but of effort.

I'm not sure that I agree with many of the premises of this article, and I've only outlined a couple here.  It seems to me that the "new" or "fuzzy" math is actually quite harmful, especially to boys.  We've gone from "Add 3 +2" to "Write a number story about 3 +2."  My homeschooling child is actually quite advanced in math, but I think he'd FAIL these classes.  You could pay his teacher a billion dollars and he'd still fail if that sort of curriculum is used.

Though I can't say that I necessarily agree with others, especially in the homeschooling community, that we should just dig up some textbooks from 1842 and use those instead.  You know the type.  Everything after about 1909 is just morally bad.  Colonial or prairie settings in every book and good, wholesome plotlines involving dinner buckets and spotted cows abound.

Meh.

Door-to-Door School Harassment

Natomas Unified School District (CA) officials went with the news media door-to-door looking for "truants" and trying to force vaccinations on the spot.  Just imagine yourself at home, thinking the guy at your door is some salesman or something, and answering to find a camera in your face, your personal information being read aloud, and being grilled about your child's medical history.

One mom, who actually reacted about as nicely as could be expected under such a circumstance, is suing the school district.  Her daughter, Cayleh Morrison, was described on camera as needing the whooping cough vaccination and being out of compliance with the law.  No such legal obligation exists, as the family could opt out at any time. 

Of course, this was not stated on the broadcast.  We all know schools and medical professionals are generally INTENTIONALLY DECEPTIVE on this count.  I can't tell you of even one time that I've been given full disclosure of my rights NOT to vaccinate my children by school or medical people.  You have to somehow already know this.  I think the lying needs to stop if the schools/medical folks want the trust to start.

This is not OK.  None of the families of unvaccinated or "truant" students should have had their homes and personal data broadcast for the world to see (and for all eternity, really, via the wonders of the internet).

California has a serious whooping cough epidemic.  It isn't going to be solved this way.  By all means exclude unvaccinated children from public school during an outbreak if you feel you must.  If the kids' health is THAT important to you, and you realllly think vaccination works so well and that unvaxed kids carry cooties by their very nature, you'll be ok with losing that state funding for the day. 

Whatever. 

My take on it is that sick people spread stuff and we should REALLY come down hard on parents sending sick kids to school intentionally.  (We've all seen this.  Though I know sometimes the kids start getting sick at school and there's no helping that.) 

I think making families that don't vaccinate the enemy is unhelpful at best.  It makes people who don't want to vaccinate feel persecuted and form their own groups, support systems and information lines.  This cuts off any communication the medical community might have had with these families.  I also think that the medical folks need to realize that when parents flip out and say there are too many shots, maybe that's the time to push JUST the DtaP if that's what's going around, rather than push too hard and maybe see none done that day and/or win that day's battle, but find the parents are now playing herbal remedies when the kid gets appendicitis because that's more "natural" than surgery.  (I exaggerate only slightly.)

I'm biased in favour of personal choice, knowing that vaccines can be a net good societally but do not always work.  I also have vaccinated all my children against whooping cough (what, are the vaccines going to make the kids autistic twice?) and would encourage you do do the same. 

Good grief, but not this way.  I hope that mom wins a boodle of money and a court-ordered apology from the school district, to be posted at the upper right portion of its website, for one full school year.

A Picture Post!

This was Patrick's "ghetto racket."  He bought it (in better condition) at a thrift store for $3 and was too cheap to spend his money on a new one.  His team-mates kinda made fun of him for it.  I finally bought him a new one, but everyone remembers Patrick as the "ghetto racket" guy.

Elf got a magazine from Hy-Vee grocery store in the mail and tried their strawberry-banana recipe.  He added a bit of topping as well.

"Aaaaaaammmm!"  Too bad the pic does not have sound effects.  It's part of the whole dessert experience.  Elf demanded I take this photograph and share it with you.

Woodjie's first day of kindergarten/summer school was Monday!  Woodjie is now a SHARK because that's the mascot of this elementary school  He is in their "integrate the disabled kids and hopefully not spend any money on them next year" program.  Ok, it has a nicer name than that.   But hopefully he does well!  I have no idea... there are no notes home in elementary.  I suppose I will call his teacher in a couple weeks and say "hi!" after the class is well-established.

Miss Rose is Vogue-ing a shirt I lengthened with a bit of fabric.  The pic doesn't do it justice; the shirt flares everywhere as she walks about and is really quite cute.

I hemmed in/made narrower a medium T-shirt I bought at the thrift store for a dollar.  I'm thinking to make the shirt more "dress" like that I will need a ruffle or something at the bottom.  Or.  With a little less smiling and the right footwear she can just be Emo.

Michigan School Prosecutes Mom for Tardies

Kid, nevermind your autism and how it affects your being able to get to school on time.  We think you should just go into foster care and your single momma? We'd like to send her to jail. 

 

Yeah.  That's pretty much what this school in Michigan is saying.  The mom and son duo start their day TWO HOURS EARLY and still can't make it in time on some days.  Have you ever dealt with an autistic child who has it in his head that thank you, he is NOT going some place or another?  You have a choice of beating the kid or hoping you can figure out some way to help the situation resolve itself.

 

This single mom looks like she has everything together at first blush, and maybe she does.  But I think before we send her off to jail, maybe it would be cheaper for the taxpayer and better for everyone all around if an autism specialist of some kind were hired to help the mom with techniques that will at least decrease the tardies or help the CHILD to regulate his own schedule a bit better?  Or perhaps bring some of those programs in the morning to his home and transport him from there?  I don't know what money pot that would come from funding-wise... but... looks like common sense to me.  This mom needs help, not jail.  It wouldn't "teach" her anything but the fact that the system is stacked against her.  I think she knows that already.

 

I've spoken out against this whole parent "accountability" thing for truancy before.  It's just wrong on so many levels.   Sure, if kids are signed up to go to school, parents should make *every* effort to ensure their children attend.   But wow.

 

My friend Kerima Cevik is angry about it.  "As I read the comments associated with this case, I realize that this woman will go to jail and her son will go into the foster care system," she wrote recently. 

 

"Because no one cares."

 

"The hate messages are frightening. And everyone assumes she is an irresponsible single mother who along with her son, are just not interested in education. Their judgement is based entirely upon her race. How I will navigate this biased system and keep my son from harm as a woman with the same skin as her, God only knows."

 

I'm pretty scared about the whole story myself.

 

Tales for Young Men

"Grendel's plan, I think, will be
What it has been before, to invade this hall
And gorge his belly with our bodies.  If he can,
If he can.  And I think, if my time will have come,
There'll be nothing to mourn over, no corpse to
    prepare
For its grave:  Grendel will carry our bloody
Flesh to the moors, crunch on our bones
And smear torn scraps of our skin on the walls
Of his den.  No, I expect no Danes
Will fret about sewing our shrouds, if he wins. 
And if death does take me, send the hammered
Mail of my armor to Higlac, return
The inheritance I had from Hrethel, and he
From Wayland.  Fate will unwind as it must!"

(Beowulf, lines 442-455, translated by Burton Raffel, Signet Classic edition)

Emperor seems to read well enough.  It is not his favourite subject, but he likes Beowulf a lot.  "It's very pretty," he tells me. "I like writing that is beautiful and has a lot of adjectives in it.  This lets me know what is really going on." 

Yep.  There's really no mistake about what's happening in literature like this, and the character motivation doesn't seem to be so deep or introspective as many tales marketed to children seem to be.  It's understandable to Emperor in a way standard "kid" literature is NOT. He has a lot of trouble with your usual kid-fiction. 

Emperor is currently being tested by our school district to see if he needs any sort of special services.  Lately the tests they have been giving him are reported to be boring.  Emperor tells me they had him read and answer stories about some child and a dragon.  "But, the story had no taste to it."

No taste?  Surely my kid isn't getting all highbrow and pining for classic literature only?  I asked him a few questions about the readings he was supposed to do.  One is about a dragon and a small town, he told me, rolling his eyes.  Well what about it?  "Four letters," he said.  "L-A-M-E."

Stories about odd creatures such as dragons and Grendel and Orcs and what-have-you are usually very exciting! 

Ughhh... Emperor explained that this one is about a dragon that steals people away from the town.  Everyone was scared and didn't know what to do until some little kid went off to find out what the problem was.  "And ALL SHE NEEDED TO DEAL WITH THE DRAGON WAS A MAP AND SOME FOOD."

As if this weren't insulting enough to the reader's intelligence, Emperor reports that the kid brought along as her companion some fluffy thing called MISTER FEATHERS.  Here I got another good eyeroll from him at the stupidity of the story. 

"Mister Feathers and the girl find the dragon and then they just TALK with the dragon.  The dragon tells them he is picking up all the people to save them from the avalanche that will be destroying the town soon." He shook his head and put his hand up to his brow as though the whole ordeal were painful to recount.

"THE END."

"The story just sucked, Mom."

Well, maybe it did.  I don't fault the school for having sucky stories during the testing process because I'm thinking that it might be a test to see if the child is able to remain calm and polite under duress or something.  (I dunno.)  Usually these "tests" have a hidden objective and the thing you think you're getting tested on isn't the thing they're really measuring. 

But on the whole, I hear boys are "behind" on reading.  I wonder at us as parents for not having better literature choices than the Junie B. Jones series in our personal family libraries.  Sorry, I hate those.  They are just WRONG. 

Am I the only one with reading pet peeves?  Looks like I passed mine onto my children somehow.

Maybe Some DO, Though...

Someone's missing a pen because I found this dandy in the dryer. It's from the high school and it's a reminder that most (School Name) High School students do not binge drink. I think we all needed that reminder. Most (School Name) HS students also do not go on to ivy league schools after graduation. Most also do not kill squirrels and eat their entrails. Most also are not actors. Most are also not millionaires. Most are also not left-handed. Well... I could go on and on. There is probably a whole series of pens out with clever sayings along these lines, and one of my older children just happened to pick up the one about binge drinking. Not sure why the school is giving away pens about boozing it up, but ok. It's a free pen.

How We Act in School

Mrs. F:

Elf has had a *revelation* yesterday. He has been informed that attending school is a privilege, that the right to an education is not outlined in the Constitution, and that he is to do his best work at school out of respect for himself, his family, his teachers, and the taxpayer. (And so on and so on. The Mom lecture.)

I understand that he received a 70 on a recent math exam. If he did his best and tried to make up the work and/or do additional work and strive to understand the concepts, I would have to be ok with this even though it is a poor grade. But he has gotten the idea that a 60 is passing, that anything over 60 is good enough, and he didn't bother to take the scheduled makeup. That's his fault and I'm not writing to ask for another. I'm writing to tell you that I can't "fix" every problem behaviour or poor grade my son may have, but I certainly am not going to neglect to have some consequences at home if I'm made aware that this is a continuing problem. He's been told if something bad like this happens again, he will miss his fun activities for a whole week. We do our best work or we find there is no playtime.

Oh, you will love this part. He said he'd like to homeschool again because he'd love to have a break. I told him great but that if he came home, that he would just study everything little brother is doing. You should have seen his face crumple up because Emperor studies chess for two hours a day and Latin and grammar are regular parts of his life. Ha ha ha! Suddenly, he is *quite* motivated to do things your way. Isn't that nice? He's also been told that I would be emailing you (and I am cc'ing Mrs. G and Mrs. P so they are in on this!) so that you would feel free to drop me a note any time you feel there is a concern. He cringed a little, hearing that one. Making his life hard should be a team effort! :)

Hopefully he's left with the idea that we'll be communicating with each other and he's not going to get away with being a slacker.

Happy Elf Mom

Another Whole School Year

Elf has made tremendous progress in the friendship area!! He has been having conversations with a classmate and would like to have him over to the house some weekend. This is great! Just get his phone number and maybe I can talk to his mom and we can work something out.

He brought home a phone number last night! Isn't that awesome?? Now, if we only knew this boy's NAME, I might be able to call and arrange a get-together...

I know. He was sooo excited to talk with someone AND get the phone number, too...

Elf is studying where all the continents and oceans are located in history class. They are also studying Ancient Greece. If I remember correctly this is about the time age-wise I got a phone call from Patrick's school because Patrick had a religious objection to looking at Greek art because of boobies. I settled it in the school's favour by telling Patrick to look but not loooooook. He can handle it.

Emperor is also blogging about school and Ancient Greece in his post titled, "Another Whole School Year." Yep, I snagged it as a title for MY post. Willya click on over there and leave him a comment? He would appreciate followers as well. Promise it won't be too much trouble because he doesn't post very frequently. Thanks. :)

Yet More School Stories.

Elf isn't doing so badly. I'm letting him flounder and figure it out for himself. It looks like every now and then, though, he might need a little hint about what to say and do.

I've been asking him to do things like tell me the names of two other students this week, and tell me what people are talking about in the lunchroom, and tell me about what you are saying in class, and all sorts of things like that. It worked very well in Mr. McC's class last year. He eventually learnt the names of six other children and was able to even tell me a little bit about a few of them. This year, not so well.

At least he does seem to want to talk to me about things. But he's making more than a few social mistakes. One of the teachers had an "icebreaker" sort of conversation a bit ago and went around the room asking each of the children what they were doing over the weekend. Elf's response? "None of your business."

Yeahhh, he has been coached that next time, "I'd prefer not to talk about it," or "Can I please skip my turn?" would have been better answers. The teacher also had a "discussion" about "respectful behaviour" as well.

Or this. Elf has figured out that table "18" has the best conversations. They don't have very interesting chats at 15, Elf told me. It got pretty boring there, and Elf wanted to (I guess??) talk about something else.

"Could you please spice this conversation up a little bit?" he asked them. "My mom wants to know alll about the things we talk about here, and I don't want to have to give her a bad report."

Can you believe this approach didn't work?? Can you? Things just don't work out for this kid and he's trying to figure out why. So. He can go to "table 18" on W days or something like that. They have the best conversations. One of the things they do is play some sort of "pass the expired milk carton" game and another is to discuss which food is the nastiest and plan a large "last day of school" food fight. I'm now cluing Elf in to the fact that the last day of school is NOT a good day to sit with the people at "table 18."

Patrick is trying to teach him to say "Yo Mama said so" at the table as a good way to socialize. I dunno, I guess that's what the high school kids do, so maybe it will be avant-garde at the middle school. I remember hearing this "Your mama" thing in college. One fellow from the 'hood just threw, "Yo mama so fat she breaks chairs" or somesuch into the conversation. MYYYY, was I insulted. I told him he didn't know my mother, and how dare he? He thought this was all HILARIOUS and started in on other Mama being fat jokes. I told him for his information that my mother lost QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT on Nutri/System, so that just shows how much he knows.

Rolling, he was.

More School Tales

Here's a story Elf told me, pretty much verbatim:

Something exciting happened at school yesterday. It was awesome. In Communication Arts (English), Mrs. P is really really scared of SPIDERS. And guess what? There was a big egg sac under her cabinet and we got to see all the spiders come out of the eggs! It was AMAZING. And Mrs. P got upset because there were HUNDREDS of tiny li'l baby spiders and they all crawl everywhere, all ways at once and under things. Some of them went into her desk and lots went around the room and into our desks and some were going into her supply closet and getting into the books.

Mrs. P gave everyone paper towels and rulers and told them to squash the spiders instead of reading today. We didn't see any mommies and daddies spiders but these spiders were light brown. (Listening to the story, they sound like poisonous BROWN RECLUSE spiders.) Mrs. P called the custodian RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS and he moved projectors and other things around. They found lots of dead mommy and daddy spiders and they were brown, the big kind you are scared of. (Brown recluse? Oh yayy.)

I know Mrs. P had a bad day but it was SO FUN to watch all the spiders hatch and then go hunting for them in class.

(Here I asked him about the bus.)

On the bus, I know I am the last stop. The bus driver told me when to get off after I got lost that first time. I am listening to all the words everyone says because I want to hear *swear words.* So far what I hear is a lot of yelling and someone said "crap." They're yelling about something I don't get. They are also talking about things I don't know about. I sit in the front and the bus driver talks to me a lot but I don't understand what he is talking about. I am trying to be polite and listen carefully but everything is confusing.