Oh, I like to wake up at about 7:30 p.m. or so. Would you please feed me several times, right when all the other children need to be helped with their bedtime routines? If you don't, I'll squall as though you are killing me with 100 bouncing porcupines.
Thanks... Now, it's time to change me three times and feed me again. I need a bath now. Now I've pooped. I need to be fed again. Yes, I know that it's nearly 1 a.m., but I don't jolly well feel like going to bed just yet. I have gas, and I'm going to cry about that as though my heart were breaking. I think I need to be fed and changed another three times before I'll sleep.
I'm so cute when I'm sleeping, though. I think I'll do the "sleep" thing all day long, except for the lunch hour when you're busy with three other childrens' meals, the kitchen and the leftover schoolwork from the morning. If you don't pick me up and feed me then, the phone will ring and the person on the other end will think you are a baaad parent because I'll whimper pathetically about how no one pays any attention to me. Consider yourself warned.