What I'm Getting Children for Christmas.

Really, a few books and a couple Pokemon action figures. But you know how little kids are. They want to know what they're getting! *SO* excited about it...!

Ok, I'll tell you, Elf. It's a book about dirt! (I'm thinking I'll give him a silly answer, he'll figure out I'm joking, and that'll be the end of it, right!??)

OH BOY!!! Emperor, we're getting a book about DIRT!!!!

Emperor wants to know if it comes with dirt, like in a book and kit set.

Sigh. Um, no. I didn't really get you any books about dirt. I just got the dirt.

Emperor wants to know if it has worms in it he can play with.

Um, no. I didn't really get the dirt. I was going to just give you a shovel and you can get it yourself. (WHEN is he going to realize I'm kidding with him??!)

OH BOY!!! Elf says. Well, how are we going to dig in the dirt right now because it's snowy and cold...?

Um, I'm going to just lock you outside 'till spring. Then you can come back in after you get the dirt and worms and stuff. So of course then the children have to ask me what they're going to eat out there...?

I'm NOT TELLING you guys what you are getting for Christmas. It isn't dirt, it isn't worms, and it isn't even a book about dirt!!! You will find out on Christmas!

Elf is sort of disappointed, because he said he would have enjoyed a book about dirt. Now I have had to promise him that I will check out a book about dirt from the library next time I go. These children! I was trying to explain about all the latitude and longitude lines on the globe, and now we're stuck. Emperor really needs to know who made all that up and what they use it for and when the earth turns if the lines get messed up.

I'm so tempted to tell him that the lines get smudged in the ocean or that sometimes airplanes get tangled in them. But the dirt thing I guess was enough for one day.