29 April 2009

Thongs. Because the Economy is THAT Bad.

In these dire economic times, the human female will wear shorter skirts. It's an absolute, ironclad fact... you can even go to the Psychology Today's "Evolutionary Psychology" section and check it out for yourself.

We all know that those pioneer ladies with the long skirts weren't REALLY hungry or hard-working. That was just a show to keep the tourists away. Don't you hate tourists? We get about fifty billion of them each year in "Cowtown," Kansas City. That's right: they all come to look at a big concrete cow on a building somewhere downtown. I've seen it once and then I think they moved it. Whoopee!

Oh! We also have the Jesse James Farm nearby, but you have to drive way out in the boonies to see it. But you'd be surprised how many people come from all over the world, as far away as the UK and Japan to see a two-bedroom frame house. Whoopee!

Maybe I shouldn't write that because then we'll get even MORE tourists than we're already dealing with. I can't tell you how often I've been in the local Hy-Vee and had my picture taken with some stranger because they thought my family looked so authentically native.

Anyway, somehow this article doesn't convince me of the "facts" of evolution. I'm thinking of all the 58 billion OTHER things they could be saying about psychology and evolution, this is pretty lame.


  1. Oh we know tourists in Buffalo,NY.. I mean Niagara Falls is just a 1/2 hour from Buffalo.. and man the Canadians love to shop here!

    (Disclaimer: not that there is anything wrong with Canadians!)

  2. Uh... we have 40 lakes in our county and Big Ole and a Runestone. I know tourists.

  3. People need to learn to write more clearly. Toward the end of the article I started keeping track of his words: macro-indicators, decoupled, beautification, veracity, espoused, veridical...

    I mean, sure, I can read that, but it starts to lose meaning rather quickly.

    Nah, if anything, thongs are proof of global warming. Everyone knows that! [smile]


  4. "So, please, keep your britches on and your eyes open because whether your thongs are worn on your feet or between your butt-cheeks, we could all use more humility..."

    Oh my, Luke. But so true!

    I think this fella is trying to show how educated he is/ how stupid we are in the article. I'm just not smart enough to get the premise. Are the Muslim people ALWAYS rich by this line of thinking? Bleh.

    Shelly and Julie, I was just kidding about tourists around here. Sure, lots of folks visit Jesse James Farm, but not a lot of them look for native culture while they're at it. :]


Non-troll comments always welcome! :)