09 August 2009

Mystery Guest Blogger

I was reading this article and had to share a lengthy comment with you. It was written by a "Laurie Thompson."

Certainly the great President Obama is America’s staunchest advocate of free speech, but mind you, free speech only goes so far.

Like it doesn’t justify anyone yelling theatre in a crowded firehouse. Or vise versa. Or bad mouthing the leader of the free world.

I agree with the President. And, as a patriotic American will carry out his directive: If I hear or receive anything fishy, it is my duty as an American to report it. Which, by the way, I already did.

My Uncle Jerry, who drinks a lot of beer, is organizing something he calls “Sons of Liberty groups”.

I don’t know if it’s legal, but they’re using the internet to contact people all over this country to become members of this citizen security organization designed to protect unpatriotic scallywags who speak against President Obama’s exciting new health care reform bill at Town Meetings.
The website Obama listed that I used to report him was easy and simple. And worked like a charm.

Uncle Jerry’s justification was something I hadn’t heard of so I assumed he probably made it up.
But then I heard that In St. Louis, among other placees, patriotic union members were goaded into a scuffle or two at the aforementioned town meetings. And dimwitted Republicans are using that as an excuse to organize.

Totally innocent, these law abiding union members, who are not affiliated with organized crime in any way in any major eastern U.S. cities, are being scapegoated by nasty Republicans who can’t fight with words, but have to resort to violins at these town meetings. Did I say violins? I meant violence.

Uncle Jerry, who is also a hunter and gun collector, today was visited I guess by government law enforcement agents. I spoke to his wife, Joan, another Republican who says first they confiscated his guns without giving Jerry a receipt (like who cares, who needs guns)? Then they drove off with Uncle Jerry in a big black car headed, they said, for their nearest big city, Springfield, Illinois. Apparently, he’s now at some federal facility deciding whether to sign to a sworn statement of loyalty to the President. And as a supporter of health reform.

Incidentally, when Uncle Jerry phoned home, his wife told me that the rube is considering not signing the loyalty statement. Said if he signs it, he’ll be home tomorrow morning. If not, he’s an idiot because they said they’d take him to some reeducation center outside of Washington DC at some place that starts with a Q. Quan something. I don’t know and I don’t care. I hope he learns his lesson. Disagree with ObamaCare and you could be up the creek. After all, he is our President.

Organize people like my brain dead Uncle is doing will only lead to problems. Uncle jerry is in extra trouble because I heard him call Obama scum in front of their children. I think it’s a federal offence to take Obama’s name in vain.

These un-American Republicans and Libatarians are in for some big trouble. Because Obama fully intends to use his power to achieve right thinking agreement.

By informing, I’m getting an Obama silver bracelet in the mail plus the incentive of $100 cold hard cash for every subversive Republican I turn in. They’re easy to find here in LaCrosse where I live.Lots of people are saying bad things about Obama loud so I can hear. They seem to think they have a right. How wrong they are.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I’m getting to the mall just after it opens to see what I can hear.

Obama says people like me are his eyes and ears.

This is the first time I’ve been really active in politics and I’m really enjoying it. Plus I’m getting non believers off the streets, and making money to boot.

This is a great country. I can’t believe the Republicans have stooped so low to do so much to hurt it.


  1. Man I am out of luck then. Because everyone in NZ loves Obama. I won't find anything fishy here. Can I turn myself in for $100? Those are US dollars right?

  2. Sorry, Bonnie. I'm not sure that the Great Obama's power is worldwide... yet. He has to unveil the Abomination of Desolation in the rebuilt temple first.

    LOL I just wrote that just in case some liberal was reading. It might earn 'em a hundred bucks. :P

  3. Great! I live on a military base. I can turn in almost everyone and make a fortune.

  4. In my book Laura Thompson is either (a) mentally ill, (b) uneducated about what the Constitution of the US says or (c) a dyed-in-the-wool Republican who is dissing all the fact that the Obama administration aligns right-wing groups with terrorism.

    I vote for c. Then this becomes funny instead of the sign of a very deranged woman.

  5. LOL Bronwyn, that would be hilarious! Can I be your "manager" and get 10% of your earnings?

    Julie... it's *got* to be a joke. I mean, it's so amazingly outrageous it has to be.

    I hope.


Non-troll comments always welcome! :)