Religious Freedom in Every Sphere

A Guest Post by Daja Gombojav.

Below is a letter I wrote on behalf of my dear friend and midwife, Brenda, who was arrested for exercising her faith as it applies to childbirth.  She has always felt it was her calling to assist women in birth.  She's a Traditional Christian (unlicensed) midwife, a fact that she has never hid.  In fact, she has openly advertised that fact, because there are those of us out there who are looking for just that--independent, religious centered birth on our own terms.  

We also started a petition on Brenda's behalf.  Even if home birth is not your thing, please sign it.  Even if you are not a Christian, please sign it.  At its core, it's not about home birth or theology.  It's about the essential right we all have to decide what we believe and how that is best lived out.  That is the right and responsibility of every individual (our "inalienable rights") and should not be infringed upon by the government.

 

SIGN HERE. 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

           My name is Daja Gombojav.  I'm the mother of seven, all born at home.  In six of the seven labors I have been attended by Brenda Capps.  My husband, Gana, is seminary educated with a Master's Degree in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary.  We have been missionaries and pastors in Mongolia.

 

            When we found out we were expecting our first child we specifically searched out a Christian midwife.  We were thrilled to be introduced to Brenda Capps and to learn she practiced under the Religious Exemption Clause.  We have always viewed birth as not only a spiritual, but a religious experience.  Only in the rare cases of emergencies is it a "medical" experience. 

           This understanding of birth as primarily religious can be found to span many, if not most religious thought and dogmas.  In Judaism, "A midwife’s role, among other things, is to encourage a birthing mother to "let go" and allow herself to become a conduit for this great Force to flow through. Trust in the natural process of labor and in a woman’s body to birth normally and safely is the hallmark of midwifery care. Every culture and religion has their own words and metaphors to describe their reverence and awe of this process. But for Jewish midwives, this reverence stems from an understanding that birth is G‑dly in nature. Their faith in birth is inexorably bound with their faith in G‑d." (Source)

 

            In Catholicism, birth is understood to be participating in the same creative power that took Eve from Adam's side.  St. Hildegard of Bingen, theologian and Doctor of the Church explains, "When birth is approaching, the vessel in which the child is enclosed is torn, and then comes the eternal energy that took Eve from Adam's side, and is present and turns upside-down all the corners of the shelter in the woman's body.  All the structures of the woman's body rush toward this energy, receive it and open up to it.  They do so until the child emerges.  Afterwards, they return to their previous state.  As the child emerges, its soul too feels the eternal energy that sent it, and meanwhile it rejoices." (St. Hildegard of Bingen in Causes and Cures)

 

            In Charismatic/Pentecostal Christian traditions, the belief that Jesus reversed the curse, thus lifting the pain of childbirth is in agreement with Romans 14:23 which says that anything not from faith is sin.  In a now classic Christian childbirth text, Supernatural Childbirth, author Jackie Mize writes, "When I refer to supernatural childbirth, I’m talking strictly about being able to conceive and to have babies with a pregnancy free from nausea, morning sickness, pain, moodiness, depression and without fear of any kind; then going through the entire labor without pain, and through the delivery without stitches and anesthetic. I’m talking about using the Word of God to overcome, change and make things better." (Supernatural Childbirth, Jackie Mize)

 

           In Reformed Christian traditions, the understanding of birth being religious extends to conception and pregnancy also.  God is seen as completely Sovereign.  He alone opens and closes the womb.  "Each time a human baby is born, another image bearer of God is brought into the world, thereby making each birth a very spiritual event.  Birth may be a commonly-occurring experience, but that does not make it common, mundane, or insignificant.  It is miraculous.  Isn't that how God is sometimes?  Even His own son's coming to earth seemed "insignificant."  A baby born in a stable to a poor family is far from the regalia appropriate for our Messiah, the Son of God.  It almost seems like He chooses to allow Himself to be "hidden" in the most obvious of places." (AboveRubies) 

             For our family, we are always striving to live fully integrated lives where our faith informs every aspect of our day-in-and-day-out.  This includes our family planning (or lack thereof), pregnancy, birth, post-partum and the way we raise our children.  Because this is our outlook on family, we believe that childbirth is an expression of our faith.  It is not a medical event that should be managed by men. It is an act of the Sovereign God. 

           When planning for our births a few things are essential: We want to give birth in an atmosphere of faith, peace, and love.  We don't invite anyone who will bring fear, control, or worry.  Everyone present must be in agreement with our objectives of a birth without pain, fear, or intervention.  I want someone who will encourage me to surrender to the Power that is eternal and available.

 

            This is why we have chosen Brenda to attend us in childbirth six times.  The role she fills is not medical, it is spiritual.  She acts as a sort of guide between a woman and the innate power she has at her disposal to give birth.  Had Brenda not been practicing her art the way she has been, we would have searched out another Christian direct entry midwife.  If we were unable to find one we would have chosen to birth unattended.  That's how strongly we feel about our children not being born into a medical environment--whether that be at the hospital or recreated at home by a caregiver who doesn't truly trust birth.

 

            We count ourselves extremely blessed to live in a country and state where women have the choice to manage their reproduction according to their own conscience and religion.  We realize that many places the government tries to intervene to tell families how, when and where their children can/should be born.  We pray that California is not headed down that road.  It will be to the detriment to all of us.

 

            We stand wholeheartedly with Brenda Capps and her practice under the Religious Exemption Clause. 

Sincerely,

Daja Gombojav

Brenda and my sixth baby.

If you believe in the First Amendment, if you value your Religious Freedom, if you think that parents should decide for themselves how, where, and with whom they birth their babies, PLEASE sign the petition and make your voice heard.

New Blog!

Emperor now writes at the Homeschooling Emperor blog.  He's revamped the place and he also has a facebook page for you to visit and "like."  Be looking for new posts about three times a month.  He doesn't talk nearly so much as I do and he also would like to confine his writing to more factual pieces rather than writing stories.  His latest blog post is on nuclear power and he offers a unique solution to our energy crisis. 

A Typical Homeschool Day

Welcome to our homeschool!  This is our usual daily schedule.  I have it posted right by my computer so that I'm sure we get a full day's work in and not forget anything important. In Missouri, "Reading" and "Communication Arts" are two different subjects, but I have popped them on my overall schedule as "English" and do what I feel needs doing that day.  Often, "Reading" happens on my nook when we have appointments somewhere and we have to wait.  Emperor is laughing his way through Aesop's Fables presently.  This isn't the exact order in which I do every class, but generally speaking, everything on the list gets done each day.

Good morning!  Emperor is up and working on his chess well before 7 am.  He spends two hours every weekday on this subject in addition to his other classwork.  He usually finishes around 1:30, but has a break for lunch in there somewhere. 

Only Emperor homeschools so during the morning, some of the other children are getting up and ready for their day and leaving for school.  Here's Woodjie asking for "take ME pictures!" because he saw I had the camera out near Emperor.  Woodjie is always so cute.  He's had a few bumps in the road this year, but he loves kindergarten and his super-awesome teacher.

Emperor isn't sure why I take his picture while we're working on Science and English.  English and writing work is the most difficult for Emperor so despite the fact that he is a very big boy,  I have to help him quite a bit.

We finished early today, so we drove to the park to see how the frogs at the local creek were doing.  It seems that Nature thinks it is now autumn.  The creek is nearly dry.  Instead of seeing well over a dozen full-grown frogs and many big bulgy bullfrog tadpoles, we saw one sad half-grown tadpole hiding in the water.  We had brought a towel and old ice cream bucket for catch and release time, but we decided to leave him alone.

Yay!  Haven't been able to get anywhere close to the local Chick-fil-A place since the latest silliness.  Literally lines for about a mile to this place for a good while.  Once when I was driving earlier this month, I saw one fellow pop the sunroof and hoist - I swear - a five foot pole with an American flag through the top of his vehicle.  Well, sorry I couldn't take a picture while I was driving about town, so you'll have to imagine it.  It was quieter today, and on a hot day like this was, a great time to get some ice cream and spend time together.  Want to see how other families do their schoolwork?  Pop by the Not Back-to-School Blog Hop!

Disability Discrimination: Another Denied a Transplant

--A guest post by KWombles.

Another disabled person denied a transplant because of his disability. Another petition in hopes of changing the hospital's decision (go sign it, please).

After the last time, with Mia Rivera (click on her name to read the good news that her mother will get to give Mia a kidney), the disability community came out in full force to support the Rivera family, and it's happening again, thankfully, with blogger after blogger writing about Paul Corby's story.

Will this outpouring of outrage make the same kind of difference this time? We can hope. But one thing's certain, if we don't, as a community, come out strongly and forcefully for families going through this kind of discrimination, it will never end, never stop, and it will be someone we know and love.

Yes, resources are often deemed "scarce" and the costs of transplantation are high, but people have intrinsic value, and autism and other related disorders SHOULD NEVER BE the determining factor as to whether a person gets on the transplant list.

For other bloggers covering this, please see the feeds on the autism blogs directory.

Kerrie And Me

I'm the crazy lady in the Happy Elf Homeschool shirt.  I had to squat so I wouldn't dwarf everyone.

I can now count my bloggy friend Kerrie as my IRL friend.  I am at the Kansas Open with G, Elf and Emperor so we met at the infamous McDonald's in Johnson County.  I even met Roberto.  He was so pleased to meet a friend of Kerrie's.  Kerrie, in real life, is one of those people who know everyone and if she doesn't?  She WILL know something interesting about you by the time you leave her presence.  While we were hanging out, she somehow found out some lady at an adjacent table was some mutual acquantance's fourth grade teacher... and was able to extract this information within about 30 seconds.  Really. :)

It's Funny Because It's TRUE.

Fake news article... but only just.  A teacher in an underprivileged school yaps on about how she's changed lives and mentored and all this other stuff.  OH.  Man.  It felt like reading the liberal teacher-chick blogs.  You know the ones.

Then counter point.  "Written" by a fourth-grader.  "I fully understand that our nation is currently facing an extreme shortage of teachers and that we all have to make do with what we can get," he writes. "But does that really mean we have to be stuck with some privileged college grad who completed a five-week training program and now wants to document every single moment of her life-changing year on a Tumblr?"

"For crying out loud, we're not adopted puppies you can show off to your friends."

No.  Because adopted puppies?  You have to train diligently.  You're entirely responsible for them.  You don't give up your "career" in teaching a puppy after three years.  You just don't.  You're either a good doggie momma or you're one of those flighty people who dump the dog off at the pound just as the puppy cuteness wears off and he's learnt some bad habits.

Committing Suicide Because of Son's Autism

It can be difficult to deal with autism.  Or.  Rather.  It can be difficult to deal with autism when you don't have enough help.

A blogger recently was horrified when she saw that "want to commit suicide because of my son's autism" were the search words that led to her blog.  So she wrote a post in the hopes that the original searcher will find it and others are writing responses of their own.

I think searches are extremely cursory.  But yeah, they do say something about the person making them.  Someone searching those terms might just be feeling sad and want to see if others feel as desperate and awful as they do sometimes but have no set plan in place.  I mean, it doesn't count unless you go through with it.  I might also google "want to become Olympic swimmer" but believe me, I have no plans to actually do so.  I might just want to learn about swimming, extreme swimming culture, or whatever.  I don't even own a swimsuit.

I think all this horror is... odd.  Who would NOT think about killing themselves if they had children who desperately NEED services but realistically speaking will never get them.  I tell you, you do not know what you are talking about if you think this is not a normal feeling. 

Have you any idea how funding actually works?  Losing a parent bumps your kid up on the magical "how disabled/entitled to funding am I" checklist.  There are limited funds.  You are competing with others for those funds.  A rational parent, one who really loves her children more than life itself, would have to at least seriously consider it, especially if things are going badly just then.  Remember, normal parent-guilt gets amplified a whole boodle when you have an autistic child or four.  If you don't have support?  If you don't have balance?  Things can get dangerous, fast.

It's sick, really.  But that's how the system works.  I mean, with food stamps at least, one could ask, "Is your income below x level?  Do you have fewer than (number) dollars?" and *zing* you have benefits.

With disabilities, here's how it works:

Are you disabled?  Yes?  OK.  We have 200 slots for this special waiver that will give your family some help.  200 slots should do for the millions of people in the WHOLE STATE, right?  So all y'all people who have some disability-related trouble need to put on a really good song and dance for our committee.  Tell us why you are more worthy than everyone else in the entire state who is applying.

Oh!  Did I mention?  Only a few slots are open at any one given time.  Someone has to die or age out of the system to free the slot you want.  Also, you have to prove that your child would likely be institutionalized without this help.  But we're only giving help to a few people so guys?  Bare your souls, send us detailed forms about your income (and does your kid have a burial plan?  We need to know.  Go find the policy number.), go to monthly meetings that last for hours, fill out more paperwork... and then just hope no one else more disabled than your kid appears before the committee.  Someone else more disabled than your kid?  Would ruin it for you.  You start hoping the other families never hear about funding.  You're not going to share information with anyone.

It's like a sick game show where the prize is the help to which every family with a truly disabled child should be entitled in the first place.  I know for a fact that many families that are pushed to the extremes that, well, I'm not even going to outline.

Thankfully, one of my children is one of the lucky 200 children now using this Sara Lopez waiver.  I'm very, very grateful, but I think the process shouldn't have taken years.

I don't think this blog searcher, if he/she is desperate for help, is the only one out there hoping for real compassion and some tangible support. I'll tell you something.  It probably isn't one person's mental health problem that led to any such search.  Let's not think that.  My honest reaction isn't an uncaring one, I hope, but I'm genuinely not surprised to read that people are googling all kinds of stuff when they're looking for a way out of a bad spot.

Suicide is not the right way.  But are we willing to actually fund the right way?  I'm asking.

Hello!

Had a root canal done on Monday, which has really thrown me for a bit of a loop. This week I've relied heavily on English worksheets, Snap Circuit sets and chesskid.com to teach Emperor. He's doing just fine, but I have just given him work that doesn't require a lot of hand-holding this week. It is a very good thing that if I give him a list of "things to do," he's motivated to finishing the list.

Every morning, Emperor does either the lecture and the first ten problems in his Algebra, or he finishes the lesson from the day before. He sharpens his pencils before going to bed. I stack the books he'll be using, and off he goes after breakfast to work.

He watches videos about chess, practices his tactics and plays online chess games for about two hours each day. He spends about an hour on mathematics. Science varies depending on how much stuff I assign him. He loves science. Latin? Not his favourite, but he can memorize prayers in Latin and recite 'em back. Don't know that he is getting any very deep instruction in the subject yet, but he's in an elementary-level course.

English is one of those funny subjects, though, that can take a very short time or practically forever depending on how fuzzily the work is worded. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. Emperor has trouble with relating why a character might feel a certain way or what might happen next in the story, but not much trouble finding the verb in a sentence or even diagramming sentences.

Emperor has been working through Critical Thinking's Reading Detective A1 workbook. It is very difficult for him, but he has been getting a bit better at getting this done. One thing I like about it is that it numbers or letters various paragraphs and sentences so that when the exercises are being completed, instead of writing a huuuuge essay about why Cindy doesn't want to go to the zoo, Emperor could just write the sentence number that shows why Cindy doesn't want to go to the zoo. He would have to find the specific sentence that would back up what he's saying. Often I've been able to show him a sentence that would be a better fit to a question.

I actually got the Reading Detective workbook from Andrea because she had a contest and I was the fabulous prize winner. I'm surprised what a great fit it's been for Emperor learning-wise this year. I would definitely consider buying other things from the Critical Thinking company after seeing how well it's worked for Emperor. And no... I don't get any kickbacks for recommending it or anything like that. Bummer. :)

Homeschool Resource Meme!

I've been tagged - thanks, Tammy! Ready? Here goes:

1. One homeschooling book you have enjoyed: Since I can name only one (did a REAL homeschooler make up this meme? who picks just one??), I guess I'll go with Augustus Caesar's World. I haven't even assigned it to Emperor yet; he's still working through the Story of the World to get an overview of ancient history. Then we'll be concentrating on Ancient Rome as that's what Emperor wants to study this year. And he especially wants to learn about Augustus Caesar. He will love Augustus Caesar's World, too. :)

2. One resource you wouldn't be without: a computer. If we didn't have a computer, I would have to do ALL THE MATH TEACHING MYSELF. And that is a crime. I can do the math, and I go over corrections with Emperor, but I keep going off on odd tangents and trying to explain why the people in the word problems have such odd lives. We just can't have that because I find myself getting all into their lifestyles and being judge-y about it. These people just plain old need to keep better records instead of making ME figure it all out for them. Lazy.

See? I'm getting all judge-y already!

3. One resource you wish you had never bought: some second grade teachers' books. Unless it's a subject in which you know absolutely nothing, you do not need these. I can't say they're a total waste of money, just not needed at $50 each. Mind you, maybe they were worth every penny. You know how it is when you first start this homeschooling thing and you want to be sure you are doing everything "right" and have everything you "need." Someone made a lot of money on my insecurity.

4. One resource you enjoyed last year: Dover colouring books! These are not baby colouring books, but finely detailed outlines of art with stories, Samurais or mythological creatures.

5. One resource you will be using this year: Story of the World (Ancient Times) and Story of the World (Middle Ages). Not sure if we will finish the Middle Ages book this year because of the other studies of Ancient Rome we'll do, but it's a nice set and it will be done eventually.

6. One resource you would like to buy: Actually? Right now I don't want to buy anything. I would feel more pressured to get stuff done, just having it in the house. Sorry.

7. One resource you wish existed: books that were not too *soft* because Emperor goes nuts if the books don't have just the right texture! All books of the "wrong" texture should be banned! And napkins! Can we talk about napkins for a minute! They BURN his skin, he tells me, and send horrid crinkles up his spine. He'll do anything but bring you a napkin. Anything.

8. One homeschool catalog you enjoy reading: Rainbow Resource. This catalog has literally everything you could ever want in it and things you never knew you NEEDED. I spent a good three weeks with mine this year.

9. One homeschool website you use regularly : ChessKid! Challenge A-Gust-of-Wind to a game sometime, willya?? He also hangs out on youtube and found a very exciting video he'd like to share with you. I'll post that in a minute.

10. Tag six other homeschoolers: Oh argg, I just can't do it. I can think of a dozen whose answers to these questions I would LOVE to read, but I just can't tag people because I keep forgetting who-all gets upset about tags, who loves them, and who I tagged last and I want to be fair to everyone... would way rather EVERYONE reading who even remotely wants to do this meme just say, "Hey, come over and read my stuff!" and I will hop over and say hi back!

Ideas Welcome

SO many posts that never got published. I think I deleted about 47 drafts today. They include such never-to-be-seen classics as "The Water Buffalo" and "The Sexy." Well, they're lost, lost, lost forever. And that's a good thing. But I've also been peeking over my search results to find out more about what YOU would like to read. I'm reasoning that the most-searched stuff is the stuff you most want to read about, right?? Here are some of the searches that bring new readers to my blog:

vision forum secret underwear
pumpkin plant flowers
used boys' underware
maggots in hair

Is this what you-all are here for? Eee, well, sorry about not entertaining you more.

Ok. So, I'm open to ideas for blog posts. I can't say I'll do them all (esp. if you want to read "The Sexy." I'm sorry, it's just *gone.* Deleted. No more Sexy.) but it would be interesting to see what you-all are curious about.

Oh, what do *I* like reading on other blogs? It depends on the blog, but mostly I like people who can blog snarky but not mean, people who can show me part of their lives (whatever they're doing) and I also like places with lotsa comments, but not so many that I feel I'd better not disagree with the "host" or I will be eaten alive. Oh yeahhh. I thought I'd send you over to Tracey's to read a blog post just because I thought this was a good 'un. :)

Watch Your Kid.

Sarita Holzmann made an offhand remark on extracurricular activities at a homeschooling convention. One listener felt freed.

"She explained that she had just come from another session where the speaker said she should never put her children in extracurricular activities. He had said that good homeschool moms keep their children with them at all times."

"I know that different approaches work for different families. And many do well with no outside activities. But when I had my kids at home, a select few extracurricular activities provided a great blessing to my family and those around us."

Umm... Sarita is too kind to the other speaker. Or maybe this is why *I* am not a speaker at these things. I'da said that barring some unusual circumstance, this whole idea of never letting your kid out of your sight is really wack after he turns about 3 or 4. "Good homeschool moms keep their children with them at all times??" Do those words jump off the page to anyone else but me? Nevermind the extracurricular activity thing a sec.

I'm not saying that leaving your kid in day care 50 hours a week when he turns six weeks old is a great idea if you can help it, either, but wow. This is not normal, folks. It almost sounds like someone is afraid the child will get away and start talking, really talking, about what is going on at home. I mean, read this. Imagine yourself as a child in a family where all the children have to be in the room with Mom and she spanks your siblings when they misbehave. You also get spanked when you are naughty right in front of everyone. Notice there is no time limit on this little session or guidelines on when to stop slapping. Well, let me correct that. I guess this torture session goes on and on until the kid learns to mind. (I hope not!)

And maybe the home discussed here is a very nice one and things never get truly awful. Maybe the people who write these things have generally more compliant children and things never got out of control. I don't know... I just think to myself that encouraging someone to 1. keep her children with her at all times, no matter how frustrated she is; and 2. administer corporal punishment for misbehaviour, is practically begging for someone, somewhere, to snap. I think having friends to call on to take your child when you're about to lose it is a good thing. I think having someone your child could build a relationship with outside your family is a good thing.

Not that our family has any of those things and I am speaking down to anyone else who can't find it. When Elf began public school, he was locked in a closet by staff. Don't tell me it's homeschool parents who are abusive; it can be anyone. I homeschooled Elf for several years and he is now attending a different school that we trust. I also stopped allowing my children to go to Sunday School not because I want to "tomato stake" or anything like that, but because the children's pastor restrained my son. This pastor then refused to sit down with me and make a plan about what to do or take any training whatsoever. People like that do not get my child and I don't care what spiritual title they have.

So, I do understand keeping your child with you always if you have to or if no one wants to have compassion on your family. I do. But like Sarita, I think it's a good idea to let your children out of your sight every now and then if you can reasonably trust the adult in charge. I would love for my children to have friends they can visit with or even activities that don't always involve *Mom.* Why not??

Please Read...

Please read this post and offer your support to Blondee. She's a good friend of mine and I'm worried about her. People need to know that this sort of stuff is going on. And there is a reason why people way out in the country cling to their guns and their religion. Rifles and God got my pal through today, kid you not. :)

Motivating Children to Learn.

Larry Ferlazzo blogged recently about how to "motivate" a student to learn in a classroom setting. There are some very interesting responses over that way, including 1) finding out WHY the student doesn't want to learn the material, and 2) not giving all the answers/making the student strive and accomplish on his own.

I watched the video and read through the other responses and it struck me that the fact that the student MUST be in that room and MUST take that class would set things off on the wrong foot, just to begin with. Just imagine if the state demanded that YOU learn high school chemistry every weekday for the next year, and "your future" depends on whether you do well. (Or so your parents/high school counsellor tell you.)

I'm not saying that in an anti-school or anti-teacher way, but really. What if that coercion happened to you for 12 years straight? And you copped an attitude? And the state's response is to keep you in school until you're 18? Several states are raising the dropout age and/or requiring a certain number of credits before leaving school is an option, you see.

What if that were you? Having a local school to go to where the teachers know advanced subject matter such as physics or calculus is a very precious thing. It just isn't going to feel that way if you are FORCED to go under duress. I think being forced to go is just going to make people resentful. It's going to make for unhappy teachers, too, because guess what? Unhappy and unwilling students are nowhere near as fun to teach as children who are eager and excited about the subject.

And then I had another thought: WHAT HAPPENED to those cute little kindergarteners who all thought they could do great things? What happened to them? They turned into these surly teens who think history sucks and Dad knows nothing. It can't be all hormonal, this unwillingness to learn, or new video games with boring instructions would not sell out. What we need is a really high-level maths game with kewl graphics and unlocked rooms and stuff. Give those out instead of textbooks. Tell the kid they MUST get to the Throne Room of the Amber Palace by June 1 or fail in their quest. Just a thought. What you teach in class, the student will go home and try to play! Better than homework or even the old Choose Your Own Adventure series classic. I always died in those or wound up becoming a possum or something. :)

Post-an-Accent Meme

Okayyyy. I thought I spoke like about everyone else here. Maybe I don't sound normal and unaccented like all the people on the video?? Missouri is pretty standard... I think I talk like these people... But I was talking with a friend I "met" through the blogs and had corresponded with for awhile for the first time today. She said I didn't speak as she thought I would. Later she told me I sounded a bit Southern, even. I thought that was strange and I told everyone so at dinner. My husband asked, "Well, where is she from?" and I told him New York. D said well, that figures, everyone is Southern to those people. "Unless we're talking about someone from Maine or Canada," piped in Patrick. G said that when he went to Ohio, people said his accent was Southern. Well, now, I don't reckon we speak like Sandy Cheeks, but for the rest of the meal? The children seemed to be in some sort of contest for "most outrageous and fake Southern accent." It wuz plum cray-zee, y'all. :) Or maybe YOU should post a representative video of "how people talk around here." Let's see what you post. Leave a link in the comments so others can visit!!

Crazy Comment Monday!

What would you say to a teacher who objects to the fact that a parent doesn't give a consequence just as she feels would be best? A little first grader was kept in from the book fair for misbehaviour, but snuck off and got a book anyway.

Teacher calls mom. The mom says something along the lines of, she thought the book fair to be important, the other first graders were going, and please send the book he snuck out and got in his backpack tomorrow. The teacher then blogs that the parent, when the child is 16 and dragged to the front door by the cops because of drug use, will just blow the officers off because all the other kids are doing it.

Yeahhh. Allowing your kid to cave in to peer pressure and LOOK AT BOOKS is gonna lead to big trouble when he's older. You just wait and see, as this commenter suggests:

"Flash forward to when he's 40 & his mom says, 'Oh well, the other crazies told him he would be a loser if he didn't rape women & store their chopped up bodies in the chest freezer.' She needs to nip that in the bud right now!"

Another commenter commisserated, "Yikes, that would drive me CRAZY!!! I feel like I am constantly calling parents to tell them about what latest antic their child was up to, to which their response tends to be, 'I'll have a talk with him/her...' I always want to say, 'A talk?? I hope you'll actually DO SOMETHING!' Can be so frustrating..."

Ah, how right she is! Parents ought to outline the punishment(s) they plan to give to the child or better yet, *check* with the teacher to make sure the punishment is adequate and meets first grade state standards for character education.

Now see, it's lucky for her she didn't call me to back her up. You do NOT keep a kid in from the book fair or a field trip or a class party or anything of that nature unless something horrible is going on that warrants a phone call in the first place. That is just not right. It's manipulative and cruel. I won't back you up on this unless there is some very extreme circumstance.

I'd have told her that I wished she'd have called me before she kept my child in from the fair. I might have instilled some other relevant consequence at home, but it wouldn't be for her to know about or log down or what-have-you. Allow me to parent. I do parent. BUT... if you instill a consequence at school? I simply don't do the double jeopardy thing and punish someone twice for the same crime.

I could be reading this post entirely wrong, especially in light of the fact that I have no clue what the kiddo did. But my own history of dealing with angry closet-locking teachers, I think, has coloured me forever.

One commenter even wrote that we ought "bring back the paddle." And I'm sorry, but if this were my blog? I'd have quashed some of these commenters and said something along the lines of, "This post was a rant. I totally did not mean that this kid would be a druggie or that we oughtta beat the crap out of kids." And I would challenge my commenters to shut their freaking yaps or take it somewhere else.

Yes, I would. Hmm... I see I don't have quite as many commenters as she does... and that's ok by me. The ones I have are (aside from an occasional troll that needs to be kicked under the bridge) really nice people! :)

By the way... here's the post. I was reading through the archives and genuinely enjoying myself/thinking of following until I got to that one. Bummer.

Carnival of Homeschooling!

The Carnival of Homeschooling is hosted this week at Carletta's. Pop on over and read a selection of very varied posts on homeschooling. :)

Please Help Darren

Darren is a math teacher in California who had a horrible skiing accident earlier this year. He'd like to take a refund on the trip he prepaid to Iceland. He's not even able to walk yet; recovery is still several months away. I think he is only barely able to sit up in the car instead of lying... no way he can fly yet. Will you help him by asking folks politely to please give him a refund?

His original post is here. Thanks. :)

Blondee's Giveaway!

Have you ever priced American Girl dolls? Well, nevermind. Visit Blondee's blog and take a look at her giveaway! One super-cute Colonial outfit that would fit an 18-inch doll. :)

Sunshine!

Laura from Day by Day in Our World has thrown a Sunshine Award my way! Thanks, Laura! The rules are to tell seven things about yourself and link to some other bloggers so that they can do the same! Sometimes I've made new bloggy friends by following links or popping over to someone's blog after they've made a comment on mine or a friend's.

And now, the seven things... but I will hit the shift key instead of the number for extra fun.

!. Ok. First thing. I've GOT to get things out of my brain, and the things I have to tell you aren't all about me, so you are stuck reading some random dribblings. Well, or clicking away. But then you would miss out.

@. I am not pregnant. I just thought I'd let you know that. Thank you for asking me when the baby is due and then when I tell you I'm not pregnant? Thanks for letting me know I waddle when I walk and you thought the baby dropped. You suck.

#. In unrelated news, I am now on a diet. Yeah, I spent a few weeks gorging on pizza, crying and getting even fatter after that little remark but whateva. It's not even that this person was trying to hurt me so much as she's old and has no guard over her mouth anymore. I started yesterday and still haven't lost anything. I gained a pound. I checked. Maybe I will quit next week if this is the sort of "result" I'm going to get from going hungry. I am somewhere between 160 and 465 pounds and I would like to lose... realistically, about 40 pounds and be 40 pounds overweight. Just enough so that I'm not asked about twins. :(

$. I miss butter. Butter goes with everything. You can even microwave a bit of butter (not icky margarine) add some brown sugar and cinnamon and yum. WHY bother with the bread part of the cinnamon roll when you can just eat this? Caveat: if you eat an entire bowl, you might feel a little sick and then your husband might tell you he is not feeling sorry for you anymore because you didn't learn your lesson last time.

%. Ok. Onto religion because everyone knows that's a topic for polite conversation. Something I don't get. WHY do some really conservative Protestants get really nasty about Catholics for obeying the Pope all the time, but then listen to total crackpots with "biblical authority" who think there are RFID chips in the swine flu vaccine and that Obama is trying to convert everyone to Islam? Or follow the father of the home, no matter how STUPID he is? Dang, at least the Pope was vetted, yo. And yes. I get the husbandly authority thing. I do. And I agree with it. I just think some people carry this concept so far that... well... they're wack.

^. I know some folks are prolly pretty lax in their homeschool. Mine over the summer looks like, "Here's a book. Read a chapter." BUT at the chess club last night all the other homeschool moms were planning their days, blocking SCHEDULES and cracking the textbooks. Does anyone else out there just sort of *feeeeel* it's a History day, or is it just me?

&. One thing that makes me very happy are people who can forgive. I am soo ditzy on stuff and have tried to help plan a party and fell on my face. You know it's sad when the person for whom the party is planned has to help out. Still in the RSVP stages and then how much food to get based on RSVP's? What if tons of people never RSVP and then show up? What then? How do other people plan "casual get-togethers" and not run out of food or have WAY TOO MUCH food/leftovers for 2 months? But... other people are working with me and kicking my hiney in the right direction. And they are forgiving. *whew* That means a lot.

Now I'm passing on the award!

Andrea Hermitt is one of those people who has homeschooled for about forever. She's homeschooling her children all the way through high school and she has a series of YouTube videos as well. That's how I got to "know" her. She's started those up again and I can't wait to see what she's going to say next.

Sue is blogging from Japan. She is such a lovely person and her photos are works of art. I've been reading her for a while and am surprised she does not have a super-large following. :)

Mommy Kerrie is just stinkin' hilarious. Go say hi and you won't be disappointed.

Emperor is cute and would appreciate visitors.

Elf is (apparently) not cute but would also appreciate visitors.

Happy blog-hopping! Winners, you DO NOT have to participate. It isn't sunshine-y to have yet another obligation dumped in your lap. I'm just passing on some linky luv to you and hope it brightens your day.

You Misunderstand.

Maybe you misunderstand on purpose.

When I decide that I want to send my child to school, or attend a certain church, it doesn't mean that I agree with EVERYTHING the pastor or teacher has to say. I might not even agree with EVERY nitpicky point of doctrine in the 20-page church charter. I get that past a certain point, it's time to leave, go find another church or school if you don't like how things are run, that kind of thing.

But, really. Leave church because I homeschool? And it's "cultish" of parents like me to not agree with this whole Sunday School/youth group fad? Cultish? Because I don't subdivide my family by some arbitrary state-imposed grade level during Sunday morning church? *I* am cultish? *I* am following some new theology? Um... apparently.

Let's see. Paul Wilkinson's blog goes off on Christian unity and all that stuff in other posts. Just not this one. I don't get it. And he let stand a comment that basically says that it isn't normal to homeschool and that the commenter can tell who the homeschoolers are because of their poor social skills... they're later unable to hold down jobs... Um. Sounds like autism to me. Ever try to deal with "normal" school when your kid is autistic? I ask you. I have an autistic child in public high school and his job prospects are... NOT GOOD. It isn't just a homeschool thing, dude.

Nevermind the weirdo comments a second. I was reading the post and thinking that the parents he's discussing are really just regular people who don't want other adults they don't know well overinvolved in their child's life. Good grief, it isn't a matter of being scared of our kids talking to a cashier like he was implying. It's a matter of leaving your child *alone* with someone you don't know for hours at a time. Some people have a problem with that. I know I do sometimes!

He also seems to be miffed that homeschool parents claim to be "too tired" to teach biblical truth on Sundays when they're asked. I have a feeling that the reality is that they don't buy into the whole Sunday School idea but don't want to offend the pastor or make waves. It's called a *white lie.* They don't want to be pushed into badmouthing a place and people they otherwise agree with and enjoy attending. And they don't want to feel they need to leave the church over an issue like this. Honestly, this is not the worst heresy that could ever happen, whichever side you're looking at it from... is it really worth leaving over?

Really?