|I keep moving her, but she keeps putting |
her head back, so I'll work around it.
"She's dying," he told me. Nuh-uh. She was doing better. Sure, she hasn't eaten more than a bite in two days and doesn't walk more than a step from the litter to the water dish, but she's no longer rolling in her own poo. She's sitting on a towel. Sigh. The vet made it pretty clear last visit (only a few weeks ago!) that she's a very old cat, but she may need some specialized ($$$) tests for thisnthat if she starts to have a change in her bladder habits. Well, I thought it was the flu (it wasn't just bladder at first, and was sudden with vomiting, poo-ing, glassy eyes and lethargy) and she'd either die or get over it, it was so awful and sudden.
Then she was twitching a bit last night. But today she is fine except for her leg. And she is not looking at people but keeps putting her head sideways into the cat dish. I can't make it out... may need to consider taking her in, but I'm afraid to. The doctor would ask for expensive tests and I would say YES in a minute, just fix her. D already said NO... we need to let her go if it's time. I'm tempted to tell him he has to be the bad guy who says no to the tests, then... but we will see. I wish things could be more clear and that the cat would purr or look over again. She seems to be ignoring people now. It's just so hard to see.
I keep walking into the bathroom expecting her to be fully lively and finished with cleaning herself up... or very still on the floor. She is neither. I hardly even know how to pray for the cat. Ever feel that way about situations sometimes? You hardly know what to wish. You know that God is all-powerful, but you don't want a half-baked miracle. You want it done right the first time, but you feel sorta pushy asking for it in just that way. I think finally maybe I will just ask for a little more time, and ask for the time to be good and comfortable. That's it.
Well... here's hoping. Thanks if you got through this whole post.