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My Brother is Gay

"Do you really think so?" my mother asked.

"Mom.  He wears silk shirts from the Chess King," I reasoned.  "He has no girlfriend.  And he blowdries his hair.  What do YOU think?"


But she wasn't sure.  "Well..."

She seemed to be stalling for time. 

"If it is true, it will be ok."

And I left that conversation wondering how on earth my mom could POSSIBLY, possibly miss all the signs that my brother was certainly not straight.  I mean... silk shirts in off-teal and burgundy from the Chess King, you guys.  Blow-dried hair!  It was all sooo obvious!

Today, 20 years later, my brother is 6 ft 4, shaved bald, tattooed, and works on cars for a living.  He also regularly attends church with his wife and three children.  He lives in New York, though.  I didn't say he was entirely without his oddities. 



  1. This is supposed to be a lighthearted post about "can't judge a book by its cover." So no fair countering that there are gay people who have wives and children and can work on cars and straight people who have silk shirts.

    Though years later, I wonder HOW that conversation came up. What was going on at the time?

    Maybe it wasn't 20 years ago. Maybe it was a long time before that...

    Wow, I'm old. :)

  2. Chalk it up to 80s fashion--everything big and outrageous!!!!

  3. Man, this just brought to mind one of the guys I knew in high school. When I first met him he was a regular guy. But he had a high-pitched voice with a slight slur.

    Yep. That made him clearly "gay."

    Sadly, he "came out" after a few years, realizing he had been lying to himself before and that everyone else was right: He had to be gay... just listen to how he talked!

    Nothing like peer-pressure and social "norms" dictating your life for you.


    I, on the other hand, wore purple sweat pants, liked pressed flowers, didn't like sports or cars and wasn't interested in dating girls...

    I still wear a salmon colored shirt to church some Sundays.


  4. Tammy, I could never do the big hair, tho'...

    Luke, this makes me think that not only is it a self-fulfilling prophesy, but that sometimes we perpetuate stereotypes by changing OURSELVES to fit in with the group we want acceptance from.

    Does that make sense? That this fellow found acceptance in the "gay" group, so he joined. Isn't that a shame that we have to bully people like that? IMO gayness is not innate, but that's a whole 'nother post. But in any event, kindness is almost never a sin. :)

  5. This is so funny! It reminds me of two guys from our high school class. Everyone thought they were gay--well, not me. I actually had a crush on both of them. Now they are both happily married with tons of kids and very active at church. In fact they both have gorgeous wives. Sometimes I wonder what they other boys from our class think now? Too funny.

  6. Bonnie, the other guys from class... you never know! lol

    My best friend from college, I kept kidding with her and flirting with her to SHOCK passersby in that college town. Mostly because it was fun to watch her turn BRIGHT RED and giggle HEE HEEEEEE HEEE very loudly.

    Turns out she was gay! HA! She was too embarrassed to tell me! I was embarrassed when I found out, tell ya what. Lost touch with her but last I heard she was "married" to another lady she met on the internet.

    Strange times. My husband got a job with internet ads, too. Hm.

  7. PS Doesn't anybody remember the Chess King? :)

  8. Ha ha! That is so funny.
    Our son Mike staightens his hair.. but I can assure you.. he ain't gay! lol


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